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sonicpilled · 1 year ago

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Pull You From Your Guilt (Zombic AU)

Chapter Three - “Forgive”

content warnings: detailed sh description (flashback all in italics, if you’d like to skip the graphicness that’s alright bc it is still understandable when skipped)

word count ≈ 4005

sonic+shadow angst an hurt/comfort

“He was happy he could be with Sonic again. There were so many things he had been dying to talk to him about. An apology was at the top of his list, but he wasn’t quite sure how to go about it. For those three months without him, all he’d do was dwell on the fact that if he stayed on the phone, he would have never gone. Those quiet mornings where he stayed in bed and mourned, all he thought was I’m sorry I couldn’t stay.”

Erm sorry this took longer i got erm erm busy! because it took like a bit More than ch1 & 2 it is a bit longer. As a treat. But idk if that is awesome or annoying. hope u guys’d like it ….. Hope it is not too slowpaced too' plz give feedback i always love tha comments and critique and ya. ooc maybe more this time

It was noon now, as he woke up. He really didn’t get that much rest, but it’s not like it was a surprise. For those three months, Shadow’s sleep schedule was shit, anyways.

The rain hadn’t stopped, but was now a light sprinkle. The weather forecast had said it would get worse later in the day, though.

Shadow rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, yawning as he sat up in his bed. He glanced around his room, until his eyes stopped at the sleeping hedgehog in his bed. He stared a bit, watching his chest rise and fall. He sighed a little in relief, not knowing what he wanted to see or believe. Part of him wanted to see nothing there, like it had been for months. It wasn’t that he wasn’t relieved he could see Sonic again.

It was just the fact that none of this seemed real to him. He didn’t like this feeling of uncertainty. He hated being unsure of things.

He was happy he could be with Sonic again. There were so many things he had been dying to talk to him about. An apology was at the top of his list, but he wasn’t quite sure how to go about it. For those three months without him, all he’d do was dwell on the fact that if he stayed on the phone, he would have never gone. Those quiet mornings where he stayed in bed and mourned, all he thought was I’m sorry I couldn’t stay.

Now, Shadow stayed there in bed, staring at him as he thought and absentmindedly pet his now muted blue quills. He thought Sonic would be upset with him for leaving him alone that night, but it was him apologizing for committing suicide. It didn’t make much sense to him.

Sonic woke up, slowly. He yawned, looking around the room as he stretched. He looked around the slightly messy bedroom, the closet disorganized and the papers all over the desk. Shadow was usually so tidy. He sighed, as he glanced at Shadow.

“…G’morning.” Sonic spoke quietly, mostly tired and still a bit confused. it seemed this wasn’t a dream or coma or whatever. He died, yet he's still here. He’ll shrug it off for now, even if it irked him.

“Good morning,” Shadow whispered softly with tired eyes. “I’m… glad you’re still here.”

A pang of guilt hit Sonic when he heard those words, for some reason. He frowned a bit, before fixing his face to a small smile. Of course his boyfriend would want him to return from the dead. He pushed the strange feelings of resentment deep down inside him, he’ll ignore it like he always does. He’ll focus on Shadow, for now. “Yeah, eheh… Me too.”

The ringing of Shadow’s phone stopped the both of them, Sonic letting out a little sigh as the other reached for the device. A total of 15 missed calls from Rouge, Amy, and Tails. Jeez, what happened? Shadow stared at the screen, as he answered the call.

“Hey, hon. I’m not going to yell at you for sleeping late again,” Rouge spoke gently from the other line. Various conversations could be heard from where she was, Shadow raised the phone to his ear, staring at the ground as she continued on. “You probably heard, but someone dug up Sonic’s grave. I’d tell you to not worry about it, but that's what we’re all doing as of right now.”

“…Ah. I see.” Shadow replied quietly. He tried to convey his surprise, but he obviously already knew this, as he glanced behind him at the said hedgehog. Rouge didn’t think much of his nonchalance, Shadow wasn’t always the type to ‘properly’ show how he felt.

“Everyones over here at Amy’s place, we’re thinking of what we could do. It’d be safe to assume this was Eggman’s doing, or atleast any other guy who hates that hedgehog,” Rouge talked less carefully now, now that Shadow seemed to be calm.

“Right. Hm. I’ll be right over,” The other spoke, looking away from Sonic and back at the wood flooring. He’d better go and console the others. Shadow didn't have to go and he certainly didn’t feel like it, as selfish as that might have sounded, but it would be… suspicious if he didn’t show up. Besides, the idea that this whole ordeal could be Robotnik’s doing isn't an outlandish assumption.

The phone clicked, and Shadow got up from the bed and opened his dresser drawer. He pulled some socks out, and put them on. “I need to go. I’ll be back.”

“Wha- You’re leaving now? well, where are you goin?” Sonic stood up from the unmade bed, watching Shadow start to put his shoes on.

Shadow paused. “Your… how do i put this… ‘return’ was on the news. The police believe your grave has been defiled. I'm going to meet with the others, they think Eggman has something to do with it.” He spoke with only a hint of uneasiness, walking over to his desk.

“Oh! Well, cant i come with? I mean, surely I can help with the confusion.” Sonic excitedly followed, the idea of seeing everyone again making him smile. He fidgeted with his hands, tilting his head as he waited for a response.

“No. You have to stay here.” Shadow spoke sternly, narrowing his eyes at his desk as he searched for something. He tried his best not to sound demanding, even if he was making a demand.

“…What?” Sonic started, a small awkward laugh coming from him as he watched Shadow find and grab his keys off the dark wooden desk. A little dark chao charm hung from the keyring. “Are you trying to tell me I can't see my friends again? That I can't see my brother again?”

“They wouldn’t get it, Sonic. You need to stay here,” Shadow spoke a bit less gently this time, crossing his arms. He turned to Sonic, his expression unreadable but clear he was going to stand his ground. “I just want to protect you.”

“Protect me? Chaos, Shadow, It’ll be fine. If you could understand this,” He gestured to himself as he spoke, “then surely everyone else can, right?”

“No, Sonic,” Shadow sighed, narrowing his eyes to the ground. “Have you ever considered what would happen to you when the public finds out a zombie rose from the grave? What the government would do to you?”

Sonic rolled his eyes. “Since when were you worried about the government? We’ve both escaped them a buncha times before,” he tried to persuade, as he went over to the slightly taller hedgehog. He waved his hands around as he talked, like he always did. Sonic hated feeling like he was being treated as if he was some fragile flower. His patience was wearing thin, but so was Shadow’s. “I’m not a little kid, y’know …I can take care of myself.”

“Clearly not,” Shadow replied harshly with a scowl on his face, slipping from the cool and collected tone he tried to keep going. He didn’t want to say what he was thinking, even if he already let something blunt come out. He didn’t want to be mean, even if they've had heated fights like this before. He didn’t want to say it, because he knew Sonic would hate it. “You've never shown that you could. You wouldn’t be able to prove it to me or anyone else, not even yourself, Sonic.”

“What?” Sonic took a step back, a hurt frown on his face. How the hell could he just say that? The rain outside was much more than a scattered sprinkle now, heavy raindrops making thuds against the roof of the apartment complex. His ears wilted, as he returned the angry expression. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Shadow took in a deep breath, seeing Sonic’s reaction. He shouldn’t have said that. “You… You're reckless. I know you know that. I'm just trying to tell you that-“

“Save it. Just- Save it. I don’t know what the fuck you want from me, dude. I just- I need to get out of here. Right now,” Sonic interrupted gratingly, his quills raised as he clenched his fists to shut himself up. He felt like he was going to cry, and he didn’t want to cry again in front of Shadow. Sonic didn't want to feel weak, not in front of him, not now. Especially after Shadow had said the truth.

Sonic took another step back, shaking his head. He headed towards the door, scrambling to undo all the locks. Every little thing was starting to piss him off, as he swung the door open, and ran off.

Shadow sighed bitterly when he heard the door slam, pulling his jacket on as he headed out of his apartment. He wasn’t going to chase after him. Not after that. Shadow knew better. He took his motorcycle off the bike rack, then looked up at the gloomy sky. The heavy rain was loud, but Shadow didn’t care. His gaze was fixated on the wet road, as his mind wandered. He could only think about Sonic. He hadn’t meant to snap like that, yet he knew he couldn’t just keep those words in forever, even if it was harsh. Shadow hadn’t even noticed his heavy breathing, the rain muffling everything and becoming the perfect white noise.

He made his way to Amy’s house, outside of the city. The outside of her home was cutely decorated, the garden full of pink and red roses. Shadow left his bike against the cherry wood fence, walking up the stone path and knocked on the pink painted door. ‘Welcome!’ read the enthusiastic doormat, little hearts scattered along the border.

“Ah! Hi Shadow, glad you showed up,” the cheerful pink hedgehog greeted, opening the door wide before gasping at the other, who’s fur dripped from the rain. “Eek, I'll get you a towel so you don't catch a cold!”

Shadow nodded briefly, staring ahead as he stepped into the warm house. He glanced around, at the worried and confused voices scattered around the cozy living room. He spotted Rouge first, as she talked with Knuckles. Vector, Espio, and Charmy seemed to be in their own detective-like conversation. Tails was alone as he paced around, seemingly deep in thought, until he went into another room.

It wasn’t very likely Shadow would have to engage in much conversation. What would he even talk about? He knew where Sonic was, and he didn’t feel like lying his way through a dull conversation. He walked over to an empty seat on the couch, and sat there alone. Amy handed him a fluffy pink towel, and walked away. He sat there, his fur dripping wet as he slightly dabbed himself with the towel.

“To dig up Sonic’s grave, how horrible, even for Robotnik!” Someone gasped.

“He must be planning something, right?” Another questioned.

“Well, we should do all we can to get him back to his casket,” Someone else reasoned.

He sat there listening to everyone's different conversations, even if they were all almost the same. He couldn’t care less on the subject, he only cared about one thing right now. It's raining pretty hard, Shadow thought to himself, He must be freezing. He wished he didn’t say what he did , even if it was what he was thinking. He knew Sonic was strong, but his health was declining for a long time. He just didn’t want to lose another person.

The rest of the room turned to static to him, as he stared at the ground. He spaced out, for a bit, as he was deep in thought. He had no use there, at that place. They… didn’t need him there. So, he stood up, getting off of the couch he had sunken into. Blending into the walls, unseen as he stepped out of the house without a goodbye.

Sonic ran and ran, the rain pouring onto him and dampening his fur. He tried not to care about it , but he really did hate it. The rainwater ruining his fur, the loudness of the droplets hitting the ground, everything was overwhelming him. He hadn't cared to go and find his ripped gloves and shoes, only the bandages on his wrists stayed on.

But he had nowhere to go, now. He couldn't get shelter at anybody's home or anything, he was alone. He couldn't just show up after they've all been to his funeral, just for some protection from the rain. He didn’t have anyone else to go to for comfort.

He ran onto a hill, under a tree for some protection from the wet water. He threw himself onto the wet grass, squeezing his eyes shut. He laid there, hyperventilating as he started to cry. Shadow was right. Sonic couldn’t take care of himself. He never could. All the time he'd run and run away, and isolate himself whenever he was hurting. He could have gotten help whenever he wanted, he just never seemed to care about himself enough to take it.

All he did was make people worry about his health, and push them away whenever they’d try to help.

A few months before Sonic’s suicide, he was in his home. In the bathroom, the bottom drawer opened again, like it had been many times. It became a morbid routine of some sort, if that's what you could call an act that would be performed that often. Over the sink, as the water dripped and dripped, he held his arm over the ceramic bowl. Like the leaky faucet, he let the gentle red streaks drip from his wrist and down into the drain.

It was something he was ashamed of doing, because it eventually became an addiction. Something he relied on when he was feeling down. Something that eventually took his life.

Sonic took in a deep breath, staring at the bloody water in the ceramic sink. He glanced up at himself in the mirror, with a little sigh. He hated that he was still doing this, but how could he stop now? He held the gillette razor blade up to his worn out wrist once again, until he heard the jangle of keys, and the sound of unlocking, and he paused. He had forgotten. He had forgotten that Tails was supposed to stop by.

He squeezed his eyes shut, hearing the footsteps down the hall. When Sonic was in danger, real danger, he never froze. Why now? Carefully, he set the blade down on the counter. Now rushed, he bandaged his arm with a wince. Mentally scolding himself, as he heard those words that he had already heard before.

“Sonic… What did you do to yourself?” His brother spoke fearfully, his footsteps stopping as he stood in the doorway. Shocked, yet knowingly, as if he was aware of the fact that Sonic had been cutting himself. Sonic huffed, opening his eyes carefully as he glanced at the small fox. Bandages in hand, his arm messily wrapped up.

“Hey, bud,” Sonic spoke carefully, gripping his bandaged arm to halt the blood. His tone was one of consolation, even if he was the one hurting himself. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean to do this, look-“

“Sonic, No,” his brother interrupted, an uneasy frown on his face as he stepped into the bathroom. Tails was young, but he wasn’t stupid. He shook his head silently, carefully grabbing Sonic's arm and inspecting the injury.

“Promise me you won’t do this anymore,” Tails spoke quietly. Sonic replied with a silent nod, though he’d break this promise because he had no self control whatsoever.

He was ashamed of himself. He was grown, too old now to have his little sibling worrying about him. How could he take care of his brother when he couldn’t even take care of himself? And besides, what good was it to bum out his friends? He was fine, what he was doing was under control. He didn’t want to be treated like he wasn’t okay. Saying he was fine and that he’ll stop would get rid of that treatment, so he did just that. He didn’t want to be pitied.

He also didn't want to think about any of this much longer. The past was the past. He’s dead, and there's nothing he could do now but cry about his wrongdoings. Sonic sat up, shivering slightly from the feeling of the cold rain. Sniffling, picking at the skin of his gloveless hands in distress until he bled. The rain was loud, he could barely hear his sobbing, let alone his own thoughts.

Just then, a gentle hand came onto his shoulder.

Sonic glanced over, looking up at the dark hedgehog standing over him. He kneeled down, a little frown of worry on his face. Carefully, he wiped the mixture of rain and tears away from Sonic’s face. Of course Shadow would know where he ran off to. He always knew. At this spot, on this grassy hill with the old tree. It was usually warm, the perfect place to get away from everyone. It was different now. Sonic looked up at Shadow with tired eyes, as the latter took off his leather jacket and wrapped the former in it, protecting him from the upsetting sensation of the rain. Shadow sat down on the grass with his hedgehog, as he thought hard about what to say.

“…I’m sorry, Sonic. Truly, I apologize,” He began, his tone soft and genuine as he ran his fingers through that damp blue fur. Sonic took in a deep breath, the jacket not being very warm, but the gesture calmed him a bit. “I shouldn’t have said what I said. I could have acted differently, I should have been more calm towards you rather than harsh.”

Sonic nodded, staying quiet as he leaned his head against Shadow’s shoulder. He understood him, in a way. You can't hold in all your emotions now, can you? Shadow sighed, continuing to pet Sonic as he spoke, “I suppose I’ve just become worried about you. I’m sure that's not,, unreasonable, no? I feel as if… what happened to you… that I was at fault.”

Sonic frowned deeply, gently shaking his head. He pulled the black leather jacket tighter around himself, even if the rain was starting to die down. “…I see how you were thinking that. I’m really sorry. For leaving you to think something like that.”

Shadow softly kissed his head, his heart heavy. He didn’t want an apology, no, that was the last thing he wanted from Sonic. “Please don't say sorry for that. I just… I don't want to lose another person I love due to my actions. You're very dear to me, I don't want to lose you. Not a second time.”

“…I’m not her, Shadow.” Sonic spoke softly, a statement he thought he should make clear. He didn’t mean any malicious intent with his words, and Shadow knew that, as he nodded.

“I know. This is different. You’re different. It’s… It’s all different now,” Shadow replied, his voice soft. The sky was lightly speckled with gray clouds, and the grass was left with dewey remains from the rain, as they sat there together. The dead leaves now orange and red, as autumn started to come. They both have been in a derealized state for the past twenty four hours, though they've started to come to terms with what's happened. A second chance. Sonic looked up at him, accepting this as reality. Shadow glanced at his love, before leaning down to gently kiss him.

Sonic returned the kiss with little hesitation although he was drained, burned out, and still a little upset. He forgave Shadow, he did, yet couldn’t let go of the feeling that he’d be ‘protected’ by him a lot more later on. It did bother him, but he’ll leave it for another time. He… understood this treatment. It's not like he had anyone else now, it seems Shadow would be the only person that could understand his half-revival. He had died before too, to be fair.

It also seemed that Shadow was as messed up as Sonic was, now more than ever.

Eventually, they got out of there, running together back to Amy’s for the sole purpose of retrieving Shadow’s motorcycle. Running past the city, the city that seemed to be full of people in the streets and the sidewalks. Usually aware of their surroundings, but quick to ignore them when together. There was no plan, they both assumed they could just hide the fact that Shadow had a living corpse wandering around with him.

The two hedgehogs got to the cozy home, Sonic following close as Shadow did a quick check on his bike. Sonic gave only a quick glance towards Amy’s home, sighing a little. He pulled the slightly big jacket more around himself, hoping he wouldn’t be noticed, as he stayed close behind Shadow. He stepped along the trail of fallen leaves on the ground, frowning a little when none of them made a sound. Shadow watched him for a bit, until he looked back at the house, and gasped slightly.

It became obvious something had happened in that building. A window or two, shattered and cracked. The floral garden ruined, the petals of the roses trampled. The front door was wide open, and from what Shadow could see, the interior told a similar story. He took a cautious step forward, keeping Sonic behind him.

As he peered into the seemingly broken into house, Shadow narrowed his eyes. Sonic, equally as skeptical, looked around as well. Shadow glanced over his shoulder, to the hedgehog wearing his jacket as he carefully whispered, “Hey, stay here.”

Sonic frowned, watching as Shadow took a step closer to the doorway. To put it lightly, the once decorated and lively home was trashed. Paintings and photos that were hung up were either crooked or shattered completely on the ground, lamps broken and stains, or splatters, of crimson red on the carpet and wall. Shadow’s eyes darted around the place, completely confused. He had hoped the liquid wasn’t what he thought it was, as he took one step back. From what Shadow could see, there seemed to be nobody in the house, except for a couple of figures behind the sofa that he couldn’t quite make out.

Then, Shadow squinted, as his fur became bristled. Now, he saw. Now, he saw the twitching thing hunched over a pink hedgehog that laid still, as it looked up at him with her blood on its face. As soon as he made eye contact with that thing, he picked Sonic up bridal style with one swift move, and rushed out of there. Sonic, who yelped in surprise, looked over at the house behind them as they got farther and farther away. Bewildered, he held onto Shadow tightly as their surroundings became a messy blur.

“Shadow, wait, wait, wait! Hold on, hold on!” Sonic spoke hurriedly, watching the evacuating crowd in the street. His eyes wide, as the people of Westopolis were fleeing away from the direction of the cemetery. Things that looked to be corpses followed after. Shadow zig-zagged through the chaos, holding Sonic close. He didn’t like his silence, especially now. “What happened? Shadow?“

“…Something you wouldn’t have wanted to see,” He replied softly, a frown on his face as he skated past it all. Ambulance sirens, screaming, and the clamoring sound of panicked running. The gray sky that was still miserable long after the rain, the smoke seeping into the air from the car wrecks, and the bodies of those who weren’t fast enough that laid lifeless along the sidewalks. He ran through it all, because for that moment, he only cared about the hedgehog in his arms.

Sonic’s ear flicked, turning his gaze from the panicked pedestrians to Shadow, who was staring straight ahead. “Shadow… Who?” he asked softly, yet received no response. Shadow’s silence only induced his anxiety. “Who?”

Shadow only held him tighter.

weel tats all… hope the projection isn’t too real here and err… ya! Now it’s getting to the early middle sooo! yay!

#bowies art #sonadow #pull you from your guilt #zombic au #my fanfic #fan fiction #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #sonadow angst

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ohwolfling · 1 year ago

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adding to my post about Gale as "annoying" or doomed to die, as interpreted from that Larian interview...

@by-ilmater left these great tags and is being kind enough to let me do a big post responding, to further clarify!

#you're not wrong and i definitely agree#the teasing lines in the game from other characters always made sense and didn't bother me#especially characters like z'rell or minthara like that makes total sense#i think that ign interview irked me specifically because it seemed like they were downplaying gale's entire narrative#which is just as complex and beautiful and interesting as all the other characters#and boiling it down to 'annoying needy man makes up for his mistakes by blowing himself up'#which is imo the most bland and boring way his story can play out#like okay? he did a big oopsy with the orb and is continuing to pay the price for it#instead of exploring the option of his path to a redemption of sorts or his ambitious desire for godhood#we're just gonna have him sacrifice himself for the greater good and maybe go to elysium#like i know they're not saying this is the only way to play the game but why phrase it the way they did?#idk idk my feelings are complicated i guess

and I want to clarify what I think probably happened there.

When they discuss Gale's death "fixing" things or how inspiring it was, they're talking about design and narrative design. There ARE more plot holes if Gale lives. I'm okay with that, obviously, as are all of us. But it is something that game designers and writers are going to be thinking about. Gale's death is a visually stunning scene that pretty finally kabooms demigods and monsters. That's all that part of the interview means. They're not pro suicidality, they're not saying that Gale as a person deserved death. They mean narratively.

Calling Gale "annoying," is from this quote:

"On a very human level, you have the guy who starts out annoying everyone, he's constantly asking you to give him your most treasured possessions to eat, otherwise he's in trouble, and at the end, he gives himself for the world."

I think fanon interpretation is that they're saying Gale deserves to die because he can or that suicidal people should just die or that Gale is canon fact Annoying. But I don't see that here at all.

I expanded on this further here but Gale is a RED HERRING. He is a very suspicious character. Is it dumb and just... the anti thesis of comprehension to whine about Gale eating two items once you know the beats of the game? Yeah, for sure, throw those dudes and memes into a well. But Gale's placement as a character is SUSPICIOUS ON PURPOSE. His function in the story is to be untrustworthy and irritating to the player. And listen, is he beautiful? is he silly and goofy the whole time? Do I love having a little Point Break mullet George Michael? Absolutely, THAT'S MY WIFE. Was I panicked about needing to feed him an amount of relics I did not know in a game whose difficulty and scarcity I did not know? YUP. Was I very mindful that this was coming from a dude who did not allow the initial illithid brain worm synch up and so I did not know his story yet? ALSO YUP. They're really and truly just talking about his PURPOSE as a character.

What happened here, I think, is that we are immediately reading things about Gale on the defense because of the aforementioned flavor of fandom dickhead. Larian Studios has never had this much press before and is being interviewed by someone who wants to talk about deeper themes and clearly KNOWS the game, which is not always the case (I write in games and let me tell you, they do not give a single fuck if they give the Baldurs Gate piece to the person who actually likes it, it is not a good time industry being run by passionate people, it is being run by corporations who hate every person they pay tbqh). They were not on the offense, they are not going to- even if they're more aware of it- answer interview questions about LITERARY THEMES AND GAMEPLAY FUNCTIONS with the most parasocial/maladaptive relationships in mind. It's not possibly to be open about your creative work and do all of that.

Again, it doesn't mean you're wrong to have a feeling. But I personally do not see any evidence in this interview that anyone at Larian doesn't like Gale or is labeling him as irrevocably annoying and deserving to die.

#galegate continued #bg3 meta #i guess???#wolfling replies #kinda #idk my tags man #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep

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zenballmaster · 10 months ago

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i have come back from seeing the movie a second time and i have. predictably. still more thoughts. spoilers (poses)

i felt the five's absence a lot more this time around orz like occasionally my mind would wander and imagine how this scene/interaction with zhen would go if tigress was there as well. also having a vague headcanon from The Olden Days that monkey has a very slight background in Less Than Lawful Crowds means i also sometimes thought about him seeing this den of thieves and being like. 'huh'

some things stuck out a bit more as a retread this time around than the first time, in particular the continued insistence on juniper city being so Huge when it's like. well. not that much visibly Larger than gongmen city was

like po's 'wooooah that's the biggest village i've ever SEEN' makes me want to put my hand on his shoulder like. 'po. honey'

i really really love seeing the nearby Outside of the valley of peace bc it's honestly just Gorgeous and feels very ghibli hills-esque ;-;

i still enjoy the chameleon and still feel like she has a very fun and intimidating presence despite being so small (i think a chunk of that is her VA tbh i love love her voice ghfieo), but i kiiinda feel like for as threatening as they try to make her, we really needed to see her do something more physically ominous and/or Nefarious than push someone down the stairs orz

ALSO related a little but tbh the times when we do get to see po and the chameleon talk to each other i feel like they have a good hero-villain chemistry and an intriguing Issue between them but. yeah they don't. really interact face to face hardly At All, and that interesting conflict they potentially have isn't really given any time to develop or be really dug into. also idk that it totally matches up between them, either thinking emoji

speaking of conflicts that aren't really explored to the depth i would personally be satisfied with-- while the idea that po already is being pushed into choosing a successor to replace him irks me more than it did the first time (rip), i do like the notion that's brought up of 'who you were will always be a part of who you are/become' and how it sorta lightly touches on the idea of grieving the person you once were, even if who you're becoming is an even better version of yourself than before

the final fight with the chameleon is more intense than i remembered it being

i'm more invested in zhen and han than i already was lmao also i feel like. there must have been More to zhen's betrayal down the line than just abandoning them for the chameleon's cold wealth. i wonder if the chameleon had zhen Do Something Personal in an attempt to further dissociate her from her old found family

i really enjoy han's deadpan 'those are both very common names' line for some reason

granny boar should be another rival to grandma panda. she can't reserve all her annoyance just for mr ping

po's disembodied head floating in space will never not immediately make me lose my mind. i laugh every gd time

aaand lastly there was a family with one kid sitting somewhere to the right of me and it was so so cute hearing her laugh at some of the jokes ghfhifoeoi

#spoilers #also i went to a theater downtown instead this time and i have to say. i should do that more often...... it's so pretty there..............

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yeetthedragon · 2 years ago

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oh hell yes i love this series rant incoming prepare yourselves

there’s only so much that is able to be shown in a tv series adaptation of a book. shadow and bone managed to squish another plot line into the main plot, with a new set of characters and problems. this is not me saying that the show portrays these characters, their personalities and their struggles and joys and trauma, terribly. in fact, coming from someone who’s read both series, i think they did it wonderfully for all they had to work with.

s&b is by far the best book to tv series adaptation i have ever seen: everything from the casting to the portrayal of the world and world-building to the writing is near perfect. there’s almost nothing more i could ask of them. twice i was wondering how they were going to manage both the six of crows and shadow and bone plots and characters in the show, the eight episodes per season we get. and i was never let down.

sure a couple things could be better, or could’ve been explained more, like the list above highlights. they did change the rating before season 2 came out, from TV-14 to TV-16 (i believe to accommodate the extra gore), and with that came new opportunities for what they could show. i believe that if they really dove into it and portrayed everything mentioned above, book fans would be that much happier. not saying we aren’t happy; every time i see the crows on-screen i’m thrilled we were able to get them in this show.

i do understand what op is trying to do above. by explaining certain plot points and highlighting differences between the books and the show it gives non-readers the opportunity to really get the whole story as best as they can without necessarily reading the books. god knows i’m guilty of going on and on about the differences themselves. but if the show portrayed everyone’s trauma and struggles and whatnot from the books, it just wouldn’t turn out well. the pacing would be thrown off, the lines between main and side characters would be blurred and crossed, there would essentially have to be more than eight episodes to tell the whole story. and while that may not be an obvious problem, it ties back into how the pacing of the show would be slowed. basically if every single character had as convoluted a backstory in the show as they did in the books, it would just be too much.

also i know leigh said the show is more or less like a high quality fanfic of the books but idk something about that description irks me when i see other people say it. they’re two separate things and the same thing, at the same time. idk

all in all, this story is incredibly dark. it gets really intense in the books. like, REALLY. the books themselves are YA (at least, i consider them YA), but leigh really pushes the boundaries of what YA typically is. there are definitely things that aren’t going to be included in the show, not only because of the rating or budget, but because they’re pretty much telling two stories that flawlessly roll into one. which, as a writer myself, is quite hard to do. hopefully the show encourages people to go out and read the books, because they’re so so good. but yeah. you can believe that by not showing the characters’ deeper personalities beyond the main problem at hand, or by “erasing” their trauma, the writers were purposefully ignoring just how well-rounded these characters are. i can’t make you believe otherwise. but the way i see it, it’s not erasure. there just simply isn’t enough room to include every single little detail from the books. who knows, maybe they’re working on a spin-off series for the crows or a third season in which these problems can be addressed or resolved. but people always find something to complain about, and frankly it gets tiring. yes, as someone who thoroughly enjoyed the books it would’ve been super cool to see certain things on-screen, but i’m happy knowing that the books explained everything well enough

for people who haven’t read the shadow and bone/ six of crows books, but have seen the show:

- inej ghafa is a survivor of childhood sex trafficking. she has ptsd and reacts in a panic attack at even walking past the menagerie

- kaz’s trauma isn’t just pekka rollins being responsible for jordie’s death, and waking up on the barge. he had to swim to shore, age nine and barely alive, using jordie’s body as a float

- the darkling has done far worse things than are shown on screen. he is not a ‘lost man’ and alina is not his ‘balance’

- alina was seventeen upon the darkling being nsfw/ romantic with her

- matthias helvar did not lead drüskelle, that was jarl brum- matthias is only just barely an adult himself

- the crows are not their own separate gang, they are part of the dregs, who per haskell leads and kaz takes over from haskell after haskell sold out his lieutenant (kaz) to pekka rollins

- zoya, genya, and alina have personalities outside of either being traumatised or hating each other

- alina never wanted any of the power and fame and idolatry, and in the end of the books is stripped of it all. she is very happy about this

- jesper is a gambling addict and somebody who watched the death of his mother

#shadow and bone #six of crows #grishaverse #shadow and bone season two #jesus sorry about the length #did not mean to go off like that #i was aboutta post it but i saw the tags and went #hmm this doesn’t sit right with me #anyway to each their own #i’m very passionate about this series

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scoopsgf · 2 years ago

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im really conflicted with lorelai because on one hand, she raised her daughter by herself after becoming a teen mom and basically got her life together on her own. on the other hand, she’s not a great parent- i hate to say it but if lorelai fed her daughter junk food and was flaky as a mom, but great as a best friend, most people around her in the real world would question her parenting style. i get that her relationship with her parents is unstable due to lasting traumas but the way she treats her parents even after they paid for rory’s school irks me. she didn’t treat max right, she wasn’t always great to sookie, and it’s just a multitude of things that make me appreciate her, but not like her.

hmm… i can see this, but i feel like lorelai gets demonized for a lot of normal, little mistakes that most parents and people in general make. coming from someone who wishes that they had a lorelai for a mom, i’m more willing to look past the tiny infractions. the junk food thing is purely for comedic effect so i really don’t take it into consideration when i judge lorelai’s parenting skills (plus we see fruits and vegetables in their fridge on multiple occasions, and while lor and rory often go out to eat, rory could easily order like, a salad from luke’s if she wanted. he’d be happy to make that for her, meaning she does have access to healthy foods, not to mention her chilton lunch meals are definitely nutritionally balanced). anyway, i wouldn’t call lorelai a flaky mom at all. in fact i’d say she’s almost overly invested in rory’s life: she always wants to know what’s going on, she goes out of her way to make sure rory has what she needs, and she’s constantly trying to maintain an open line of communication with her daughter. while she doesn’t always go about this the right way, it’s her intentions that really matter—she wants rory to know she can come to her, that she can trust her. she makes rory dresses from scratch and fills their house with books and music and goes to business school so she can make a better life for them. she puts aside her pride to ensure that rory’ll have the best education possible. yeah, she can be selfish and immature at times, and she screws up, but so does everyone and that’s literally the point of the show: all the characters on gg are meant to be realistic, they’re meant to frustrate the audience at times and piss people off, because that’s just human nature. no one can be perfect, but lorelai is definitely a really great mom. she just has deep-seated issues when it comes to things like boys and intimacy and secret keeping, which given her upbringing is kind of hard to put her down for (though it does drive me crazy at times). anyway yeah, idk, my point is that of course she can’t be perfect but compared to a lot of moms (both in fiction and irl) she does pretty damn well.

#asks #anon #gilmore girls #lorelai gilmore #i rag on her a lot for her treatment of jess and stuff but like #other than how she handles rory’s romantic relationships and all that #she does such a good job of raising rory?#and while it was of course generous of emily and richard to pay for rory’s tuition #that doesn’t mean lorelai is obligated to just forget her entire past with them and worship the ground they walk on #they did kind of treat her like crap. i mean they gave her opportunities and made sure she was in great schools and all that #but that’s kind of the bare minimum considering their lifestyle #and they refused to understand who she was as a person. they emotionally neglected her. they shamed her for being a normal teenaged girl #anyone growing up in that household with all of those unrealistic expectations would feel suffocated and resentful #lorelai didn’t really get to have a childhood. she wasn’t a ‘kid’ she was a ‘young lady’#and there’s a big difference in how that affects a child from a developmental standpoint. believe me i’ve been studying this stuff #for the past three years #treating a kid like they should already be behaving with maturity and putting them down for every mistake #screws with their brain chemistry #anyway. hhhhh i will criticize her but i will also defend her. i have so many mixed feelings about her #which if anything is just a reflection of how three dimensional she is as a character

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soft-potatoe · 2 years ago

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Okay unpopular opinion and spoiler alert, but i really didn't like the new Wednesday series. The aesthetic was very pretty and well constructed i give it that. But the plot was basically a fishing net, the dialogues were really bad and the characterizations weren't believeable at all.

The show in general feels like it was filmed for the plot, the dialogues feel so forced and unnatural, but that would be okay i guess if the plot was at least well written. I really liked uncle fester and i think he was maybe one of the most memorable characters out of this whole thing but he obviously just showed up randomly for one episode just to give the fans uncle fester.

Same with the school director hating Morticia ( first of all chlichee and boring af and if she really hated her she could have just not accepted her kid into her school) they only wrote that in to stirr the plot pot a bit and raise suspicion around her to tension it up a bit.

Also it was filled with so many overused tropes, the mean girl that the pick me girl character hates just because girls always hate each other, the love triangle between an average white artsy guy, an average white barrista guy (they literally said coffee shop au) and a girl that showed no romantic interest in either of them. (Worst of all: none of the actors had any chemistry whatsoever with each other.)

The funniest thing was probably the whole wednesday getting her own special black school uniform just because she is the main character bit, they took that trope and shamelessly used it and i kind of admire that actually. Also shows how they just didn't give a shit about realistic worldbuilding.

(I mean cmon they could have given wednesday a normal uniform and let her dye it black herself or something like that would have made it so much more realistic than the school director just going "yeah well we resepct your commitment to your aesthetic and bc you are the mc we will let you be the only one at school to wear a different uniform eventhough that defeats the entire purpose of having a school uniform").

(Like seriously nobody complained about her having a diffefent uniform? I would have been at the directors ass if the new girl just got to wear a black uniform bc she felt like it, while i was stuck in an ugly blue one) .

Also this whole werewolf conversion therapy camp thing really made me a bit mad, bc this is something queer teens in real life suffer under and they just used it in a way that gave off major "remus lupin being a werewolf is a hiv metaphor" vibes idk.

Yeah so that was my little rant about wednesday. I think it's about as badly written and made as first kill and I also think it sucks that there are barely good written shows out there that are targeted towards (queer) teenage girls. As a former teenage girl myself I can confidently say that they deserve way better than this.

->another thing that really irked me wrong was that medusa guy getting turned into stone bc he saw himself in the mirror like tf. because MEDUSAS CURSE GETS BROKEN IF YOU LOOK AT HER ONLY THROUGH A MIRROR LIKE THATS THE WHOLE POINT OF HER STORY, legit this made me so mad lol, also i have so many more questions like how long did he stay as a stone, how did he manage to like wake up (i mean he was in direct sight line of the mirror everytime he turned human again he must've seen himself again and turned back into stone) and also why does a school that has many students like him not have like sturdy mirror covers in every bathroom to prevent this type of situation, this feels like an osha-violation

#wednesday #wednesday spoilers #the addams family #nevermore #netflix #rambling

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kiwi-tai · 3 years ago

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Listen, I LOVE your tis the damn season fic 😍 pleaseeee would you write an exile based fic for like noahxmc or Marisolxmc or honestly even more garyxmc?? I will name my firstborn after you if you do (jk no kids for me,,, but maybe like a cat or hamster)

wait anon your on to something here!!! this is big brain stuff! Kiwi is a cute name for a cat or hamster 👀

to work with the plot I made this pre love island I hope you don’t mind also took some liberties with the mc thing, like it can still be mc but i used you so second person point of view, but its good promise at least i think so i really hope you like it <3

exile

pairing: Noah x MC

summary: Noah lost you, no let you go—ok more like he made you go. But that didn’t mean he felt any good about it, especially not when he sees you with someone new.

note: Noah is a dick, is it my projected thoughts on how his route goes? idk, Noah just gives me the type to second guess his relationships and fuck them up so here is this fic 🤗 there are some lines that oof i get chills i love them its short, but honestly too powerful i had to stop (yeah im hyping myself up on this one i feel like i really did something here) anon idk if you wanted cute stuff but if you did this is such an angsty song im sorry if so. Also I posted this on my Ao3 too.

Ao3 Link

The champagne was being passed around, but Noah was itching for something a little stronger. The incessant chatter that filled the room irked him, he was too used to the calm quiet that filled the library where he spent most days. Even when he was off, school was still in session so he couldn’t spend time with his siblings and he spent most of his free days alone in his apartment reading or watering his plants. By choice, some would remind him, but he tried not to think of that despite how hard this night is setting out to be. He tried not to think of you.

Twinkling lights hung over head, the best man was clinking a fork to the top of his glass of bubbly. He sat alone in a sea of family and friends that were not his at the wedding of one of his close friends that he had happened to meet with you. Who he reminds himself he has to stop thinking about, but it's easy when he can busy himself with filing or logging information at work and especially hard when your perfume lingers in the air because you’re sat two tables away. Two tables away, a distance of probably twelve feet, but in reality it felt more like there was an endless ocean of murky violent water in between the two of you.

Noah’s world was once blended with yours so perfect and seamlessly—or so he likes to think. It is always so much easier to remember the memories in the glittering haze of nostalgia where everything feels fuzzy and warm. But maybe it had been. Maybe things were perfect and how they should have stayed. With your clothes in half his closet, your toothbrush in his bathroom, your notes littering the fridge and edge of the front door. Those were all gone now, except the notes, he always kept those. He still hasn't managed to throw them out; the brightly colored post-its still sit in a box under his bed with the pictures in frames that used to sit on the mantel. His sister had begged him to put them away, you’ll feel much better, she told him.

But the man had found his worst enemy these days to be his mind, cruel and treacherous twisting up all his thoughts and anything he’d come by to fill him with reminders and images of you. He didn’t need the photographs when he closed his eyes, there was your smile. There was an old woman on the bus wearing a sage jacket, your favorite color. The little kids kept wanting him to read The Little Prince, there was your voice along with his reading the tale and making little voices as you went. Everything was you. Worst of all it's his mind that got him to where he is now. It filled up that ocean, added the sharks and sharp waves, threw in a kraken just for the heck of it.

Who was Noah if not his own worst enemy.

He really did hate himself for letting you go, making you go, he should say, but he doesn’t because you're the one who packed your bags, who picked up your things and scraped his apartment and his life clean of you. Until this wedding that neither of you could escape. The clash of two worlds, that had once been one. He just didn’t expect this. That person by your side. Their arm around your chair and their hand rubbing your shoulder. He felt sick, he hated it. He hated the sight of you with someone else. It was like some twisted nightmare.

No, it felt like a movie he had seen before. He was never one for movies, but you loved the cinema and would drag him to every film you wanted to see. At first Noah thought he would struggle to stomach them. He didn't have a problem with sitting still for the two hours and some stories weren’t bad, he just missed the literary prose that came with novels. The eloquent words that would flow from a page that he never felt the dialogue of a movie could replicate. But he quickly found the beauty of the reflected projector light on your face, the twinkle in your eye as you watched. The flow of emotion these films caused you. He relished the sight of every laugh, tear, and jump as he got to see the beauty of these stories in you.

This scene, however, was not from one of the movies he enjoyed. He liked the adventure films, even the rare sci-fi. He enjoyed the light heartedness that came with romantic comedies. He loathed the dramas. The deep shocking stories that would weld tears in the eyes of the theater goers. The raw moments like these where silence, even if it was only the one he created around him, echoed and prickled his skin as if it were a thousand needles.

The groomsman and bridesmaid end their speeches as the band starts to play a song for the wedding couple. He should be watching his friend and their partner share their first dance, but the person you are with whispers something in your ear and you laugh. It was a sound he had been craving to hear since you had been gone, but the sound cuts at his heart and as you whispered back to them it only poured salt to the bleeding wound. It makes him angry seeing you like that, it was as if your world hadn’t shattered the way his did with you gone. As if this moment was easy. Did your heart not break like his? Had you not spent nights crying as you read over poems and scribbled notes on the margins of books? Did it not pain you to walk the aisles and see someone that looked like him? To turn everywhere and see him in the faces of strangers, hear his voice in the sound of music, feel him in the wrinkle of bed sheets?

He is swallowed up in the rising ocean tide overtaken by the current and too far gone to notice anything but you and them. His fist clenched, making his fingernails dig into his palms. Noah would give anything to go back to a few months before. His mind, the instigator, fills his head with memories now. Every time he made you laugh louder than you were now. Every pretty little moment: the lingering kisses, the grocery shopping, the stolen touches, the times you spent with his family, all the times he fell deeper in love with you.

It made him see red, a fury he wasn’t used to feeling, of maybe he didn’t want to admit he felt too often, as jealousy bubbled in his blood. He needed a drink. Noah bee lines to the bar to order himself a rum and coke, making sure to tell the bartender to keep the soda to a minimum. He could get through this night; he just had to calm down. He hated anger. The way it clung to him like wet clothes after getting caught in the rain— or after diving into the ocean head first in your best suit at your friend's wedding.

He’s too caught up in it all to notice you till you order a drink beside him. Now you're so close he can smell the hints of lavender. It almost does the job of bringing him down from his clouded jealousy, but the look on your face as you turn to him resolves him to spite instead.

“What is your problem, Noah?”

“I beg your pardon”. He’s better than he expects at feigning nonchalantness, it’s his pride, he thinks, if he can just get you to feel as bad as he does, maybe he might feel a little better.

“Don’t— I would very much appreciate it if you would stop glaring at me and date.”

“I can't look around the room?”

“You were staring.”

“Must have just been lost in thought,” he shrugs and he hears you mumbling to yourself. It’s your tell, it's how he knows he's accomplished his mission, you’re just as angry as he is now.

You fake a smile and thank the bartender as they lay down your drink on the bar. After taking a sip you sigh, but he spots the crinkle in your nose, still angry, “Look, this room is big enough for one of us to be on one side, the other on the other and then no one has a problem.”

Simple enough, but could he do that? He thinks he might just so he doesn’t ruin this wedding for his friend, but this sick twisted part of him doesn’t care. He hasn’t seen you in so long and though he wishes it were on nicer terms, if a screaming match is all he can get from you he’ll take it and hate himself later. “It's that simple, huh?”

“Oh my god,” you shake your head.

Noah leans over motioning to his chest, voice rising to a plea, “I’m sitting here with my fucking heart ripped out of my chest and you’re—” galavanting off with your date he would have finished but you’re quick to stop him.

“Oh, i'm sorry, Noah is me trying to move on after you— you broke up with me offending you?” You quirk your head at him and scoff, “Your heart ripped out of your chest,” it's a bitter laugh that leaves your lips now, not like the joyful one he had heard moments before and he kicks himself because he's dug this hole. Six feet deep in the ground, but god does he not want to lie in it.

“Don’t give me your high and mighty crap right now,” you continue, “How do you think I feel? For me to pour out every fucking inch of my heart to you and for you to doubt that?” Your voice cracks and the tears start to form in your eyes, but you’ve learned to get the anger out first before they start to roll, “I moved out of my apartment when my lease was up. I got an offer for a job in Manchester— a real fucking good one, but you didn’t know that. No, cause I didnt even give it a second thought? Why when I loved my life in Romford? I loved the life I was building with you and I turned it down.”

You poke at his chest and the tears fall now, “No, Noah, you don’t get to sit there and be angry with me. You fucked this up.”

He wants to reach out and hold you, you're so close now he could if he wanted to, but he doesn’t, knowing you’d just hate him further. He thinks of all the ways he could beg, cry with you, scream that he loves you. But as much as this felt like a scene from a movie, it wasn’t. He lost you way back in the end of the first act and there was no love confessed reunions to this film. Not like the romantic comedies. He was not the leading man. Some dark-haired suave Mr. Darcy type who’d get looked past for all his shitty fucking behavior because he’s here crying and telling you he loves you.

No, this was one of those films that ends in tragedy.

#litg #love island the game #litg s2 #kiwi talks #litg season 2 #litg fic #litg noah #litg Noah x mc #noah x mc #guys I really like this fic wtf #Alexa play To Be So Lonely by Harry Styles for Noah pls #i think I love this so much because I thought for months exile was about Harry and Taylor till I realized Joe co wrote the song #i am a child of divorce #also to me this happened and like a year or so later Noah is on love island #im learning to write more second perspective but I was really tempted to make this Noah’s ex Priya #Oop maybe Hope did have something to worry about lmao #realizing there is not a single direct mention of exile in this fic

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d0llpie · 4 years ago

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hey can i request prompt 47 with tanaka also super angsty like i want to cry

Miscarriage

tanaka x reader

Prompt: “i lost the baby”

Trigger warnings: miscarriage, heavy angst, like really a whole lot of painful angst just angst

a/n: thanks for the request, i hope you cry <3 I will be making a part 2 btw

wc: 2.6k part 2

You were arguing with Tanaka, again. It started when he came home around an hour ago, three hours past when you planned a date with him. It had taken ages for you to convince him to go on a proper date since he was always ‘busy’. You needed to tell him you were pregnant, wanted to celebrate with him. Instead you were left with 50 unread messages and Tanaka waltzing in the house as if nothing was wrong. When he came and kissed you on the cheek “hey baby” like nothing had happened you snapped. “Where the fuck were you Ryu?” you stood up from the kitchen bench and begun throwing accusation after accusation at him while he just stood shocked, belittling you for ‘overreacting’ at his ‘simple mistake’.

“Oh you want me to apologize for being stood up? Hm?” You throat felt raw from the screaming, desperately just wanting him to apologize and tell him about the baby so you could make up and move on. Tanaka, stubborn as ever, wouldn’t let that happen. “I never said that, you’re working yourself up, stop stressing yourself out.” His calm tone only irked you even more, he could at least pretend to care. “What were you doing that had you so pre-occupied? Or should I ask who?” he snapped his head towards you, visibly annoyed, at least you finally caught his full attention. “What the fuck y/n? Are you seriously accusing me of cheating because I forgot about your stupid date? You know we can go on a date any other time why are you acting like such a bitch right now? Fuck sake you’re so dramatic.” You fought back the tears in your eyes, slamming your fist down on the table “When was the last time we went on a date- a real one? I wanted to spend some time with you ALONE for once to talk to you, but instead you can’t even tell me why you were soo busy to even send me a text cancelling.” A few stray tears slipped out in frustration, but you continued to glare at him, egging him on further. “I was out with some friends Jesus y/n, why do you have to bring your insecurities into everything.” You were hit with a wave of nostalgia, he’d said that line to you when you started dating in high school.

“Tanaka, hey baby, I was wondering if you wanted to come to my class to eat lunch today, I want to tell you something” You smiled up at your boyfriend as he smiled back “Of course baby! I gotta go to practice, want to come watch?” he pecked your cheek quickly, smiling widely at you proudly “Oh sorry, I have to study for a text next period but I’ll see you at lunch!” his face dropped but the bell rang, signaling your next class “Bye Tanaka!” you waved cheerily as he walked back towards the gym.

y/n: Hi, I’m in my class for lunch now :) see you soon <3

read

You frowned holding the homemade lunch you had wanted to give him. After around 15minutes you realized he wasn’t coming. You went to the gym to see if he was there with Noya, you entered the gym and found them both watching Kiyoko with lovesick expressions on their faces, spewing out compliments profusely. “Tanaka.. hey” he looked over to see you in the doorway “Y/N, hey! What’s up?” you stood there in shock for a minute before clearing your throat “Um can I talk to you?” he looked over at Kiyoko who was ignoring Nishinoya before reluctantly making his way over to you. “How come you didn’t come to lunch” you frowned lightly and he sighed “Its not like you came to my practice either, plus, I was hanging out with my friends, don’t bring your insecurities into this I told you Kiyoko doesn’t like me.” He pouted and you felt your heart clench. “Do you still like her?” you whispered and although he heard you, he pretended he didn’t. You plastered on a fake smile before retreating to the classroom, ignoring his texts and calls for the rest of the day until he brought you a bouquet of roses the next day. It was your first of multiple fights over his obvious crush on his manager. Eventually you got sick of the fighting and sappy make-ups so you just ignored it, knowing he could never have her and was with you because he loved you. Right?

“Fine. I’m sorry for accusing you, I’m not sorry for everything else, why won’t you just fucking talk to me!” The exhaustion from fighting was catching up with you and you began to feel light-headed. “Because it’s not a big deal y/n! Wait-what’s wrong?” you sighed, leaning against the wall “It’s the fucking baby and this stupid fight what do you think.” You spat at him and he stopped thinking for a moment. “Baby?” you looked up to see him smiling nervously at you “Yeah you’d have known if you hadn’t stood me up.” He pinched the bridge of his nose “we’re having a baby, can you let this go?” you scoffed, done with this fight you stormed up to your shared bedroom, crawling into bed and staying as far from his side as possible. You placed a hand over your stomach, softly crying into the pillow while Tanaka stayed downstairs, opting to sleep on the couch.

Noya: Yoo how’d y/n take it?

Tanaka: she’s pregnant

Noya: oh shit, what’re you gonna do

Tanaka: what do you mean what am I gonna do? Raise a baby I guess, fuck idk man

Noya: that’s tough, Kiyoko is staying at mine😍 pray for me bro🙏🏼😩

Tanaka: lucky, i’m on the fucking couch

Noya: sucks🥶

He sighed before turning his phone off, fuck.

The next day you woke up to breakfast in bed and a very happy Tanaka smiling at you, “good morning, how are my babies feeling?” you wanted to roll your eyes and stay mad but you couldn’t deny the way your heart fluttered when he referred to you and your child as his babies. “good morning ryu..what’s all this?” you were expecting an apology like usual, or at least for him to acknowledge what happened “You’re eating for two now I guess! When’s your next appointment?” he seemed really freaked out so you placed a hand over his “next week, are you feeling okay?” you pressed the back of your hand against his forehead, he felt fine just a little sweaty. “I’m good, want to go out for dinner after work?” you were hesitant but nodded “You’ll come right?” it’s like his mood did a 180 when you said that “What’s that supposed to mean” he spoke through gritted teeth, trying to remain calm and collected. “You know…yesterday?” he scoffed “still hung up on that huh? You gonna berate me for every mistake I make when this baby pops out of you?” you were wide awake now “woah wait, I didn’t say that-“ “you accuse me of stuff, why can’t I do the same?” his tone was growing angrier by each syllable he spoke. You looked down in your lap, feeling your eyes well up with tears again. “Tanaka please stop” you whispered and he snapped “Yeah doesn’t feel great when you just want to stop but they keep going huh?” you don’t even remember why he was getting worked up, because you didn’t want him to stand you up again? You fiddled with your fingers and zoned out while he continued yelling.

You finally looked up when you heard the bedroom door close, breathing in deeply before hunching over as a sharp pain in your abdomen stopped you from making any big or sudden movements. You groaned out in pain, stopping Tanka immediately. Tanaka ran a hand over his head stressfully “are you okay? Shit. Uh, I’m going to call an ambulance” you groaned again “Call Yachi, she can take me I think we need some-“ tears pricked your eyes and you started to sweat “space, I’ll call you when I’m there.” You could see his eyes well up with tears. His hands were opening and closing, wanting to hold you but knowing better than to do that.

Yachi came over shortly after and lead you to the car. Tanaka saw the blood on your shorts and held his breath, letting a few tears roll down his cheeks. You were silent in the car over, crying softly and groaning in pain every few minutes. Yachi looked over worriedly at you, holding your hand and letting you squeeze her hand for reassurance. “Y/n don’t move ill get a nurse to help you out.” You arrived through the emergency section of the hospital and texted Tanaka

y/n: I’m going into the emergency room now

tanaka: okay, let me know what’s happening

He shut off his phone with a shaky breath, deciding to call his friends over.

Tanaka: Noya?

Noya: hey bro what’s up

Tanaka: Y/n’s in the hospital, can you come over?

Noya: What happened? Kiyoko is here man..

Tanaka: Bring her here, I don’t know what happened she started bleeding and crying

Noya: wtf? Did you hit her?

Tanaka: You know I’d never do that. I think it’s the baby…

Noya: We’re on our way, we have whiskey

Tanaka heard knocking and made his way to the door, he opened it to see Noya and Kiyoko there. “Hey, thank you both for coming.” he stepped aside to let them enter “So how’d the break-up go, is she okay?” he looked quizzically at Noya “You didn’t tell her?” he shook his head “sorry, we were watching a movie..” Tanaka looked unamused by Noya before turning to Kiyoko “We started fighting about me hanging with you guys instead of our date and she told me she was pregnant” Kiyoko looked at him disappointedly “You left a pregnant girl?!” it was unusual for Kiyoko to raise her voice but she felt horrible your you, she knew how much you loved Tanaka and she always felt guilty in high school for what you had to put up with, because of her. “What? No! I didn’t break up with her because she’s pregnant but now...I don’t know, she was bleeding and in pain and she’s in the emergency room now..” Kiyoko was restraining from slapping him, digging her nails into her palms. “Why aren’t you with your pregnant girlfriend, it’s bad enough you don’t love her and now this? You know a baby requires actually raising a human?” He dropped his head down, “I know, I already feel horrible…what if something’s happening to the baby?” he sat down on the couch, taking the bottle from Noya’s hand and taking a swig. “You can still raise a baby and not be together…” Noya spoke up, sitting down next to him while Kiyoko turned the tv on. “It’s not fair on you guys or the baby if you stay together.” He knew he was right, he’d been putting this off for too long, he settled for you and got comfortable with the live you showed him that eventually he stopped showing it back. He can’t remember when he fell out of love but he didn’t want to leave you, he loved you still he just wasn’t in love with you. Deep down you knew, you never let yourself think that for long though. Afraid you’ll end up leaving him, Yachi had tried to get you to leave before but you could never stand the idea. Lately it was like you were already broken up, two awkward college roommates. The idea of raising a baby with him scared you, you were so stressed and sick of overthinking that you passed out in the hospital after a few hours, forgetting to call Tanaka.

You stepped out of the car, hesitating to close the door as you breathed in deeply. It was around 4pm the next day and you had just been discharged from the hospital. “Do you want me to wait here?” Yachi asked from the drivers seat, her eyes were red and puffy, she’d been up all night holding your hand and crying with you. “I think it’ll be okay…why is Kiyoko’s car here?” your eyes stuck to the black car in the driveway that you knew was Kiyoko’s “y/n, i’m gonna wait here you should go inside hes probably worried…” you nodded before approaching the front door. Your legs felt like lead as you stepped up to the door, taking your key out and unlocking the door.

“Ryu?” you moved further into the house, seeing a passed out Tanaka on the couch across from a passed out Kiyoko. “Tanaka.” You said a little louder, making him stir.

Noya came into the living room from behind you “hey y/n, how are you?” he looked hungover and that’s when you noticed the empty bottles on the floor. “Hi noya- Tanaka!” you yelled this time, waking up both Kiyoko and Tanaka. “Y/n? heyyy, how was the hospital?” he yawned and sat up groggily, rubbing his eyes. You wanted to run to him and hold him, but you stopped yourself, trying not to focus on how tight your chest felt and the tears building up in your eyes again. “Y/n?” you heard Kiyoko’s soft voice from beside you and you broke down into tears, she caught you before you fell and moved you to the couch, rubbing your back. “I lost the baby.” You continued to cry as the other three in the room sat frozen. “Y/n, i’m so sorry, i’m so so sorry, I’ll come back later but I think we should go…Noya?” Kiyoko hugged you tightly before grabbing Noya and exiting the house.

Tanaka was silent, tears rolling down his cheeks. “What happened y/n?” he avoided looking in your eyes “they said it was because of stress…Tanaka I can’t take this anymore..” you sniffled looking in your lap. He looked up to see how tired and broken you looked, feeling his heart clench. “Y/n, I swear Kiyoko and Noya came over to hang out, I don’t have feelings fo-“ “It’s not about your feelings for her, it’s about your feelings for me…I need you to be honest” he gripped your hand, his lip quivering “I don’t want to lose you y/n…” “You aren’t in love with me Tanaka, i’m not stupid” you chuckled softly, rubbing the rest of your tears away. His silence said enough and so you stood up. “Y/n, don’t go” you scoffed “you can’t keep doing this to me, making me stay with you like this” you commended yourself on the way your voice didn’t waver. “I know, I know, but I-“ he stopped himself, knowing he couldn’t stop you. “I still care about you, I always will.” You nodded, cupping his cheek softly “I know baby, I love you Ryu.”

You walked back outside and sat in the passenger seat of Yachi’s car. You put on some music and she looked over at you before driving away, not asking any questions.

Tanaka sat on the floor of his lounge room, staring into his hands and crying, you were really gone and he couldn’t fix it, it was him who pushed you away anyway. It was him who had to deal with it now.

a/n: sorry for writing this, i might make a happy ending part 2, send me ideas if you would like to see that <3

284 notes · View notes

xbaepsae · 4 years ago

Text

same old mistakes (m)

“But it wasn’t that you necessarily regretted sleeping with Hoseok. No, you very much enjoyed it—maybe too much—which is why it was wrong. So fucking wrong.”

[rich boy!hoseok x reader]

genre: country club!au, smut, slightly angsty, some fluff

word count: 12.8k

rating: mature

warnings: sex. lots and lots of unprotected sex lmao (please use protection), slight rough sex, some jealousy, rich prick asshole jung hoseok, mentions of alcohol, language, golf terminology (i’m sorry if it’s wrong idk anything about golf LMAO) oblivious mutual pining lol

a/n: omg this fic absolutely consumed me these last few weeks. i haven’t been able to think about anything else, which is why i haven’t been super active lol. so glad i finished this before the upcoming valentine’s holiday and hobi’s birthday <3 loved writing this so much! rich asshole hoseok has my heart. xoxo

You have never felt more flustered in your life.

It’s the summer after your first year of college, and you decided to come home—to spend a little time with your mother and her new husband. Well, more like she begged you to come home. You actually wanted to visit your roommate’s family on the coast, and spend your days at the beach, but your mother insisted that you come home instead.

Now that you are home, she doesn’t even have time to spend with you. She and her husband are too busy vacationing; that should’ve been you. You can’t even bear to look at your roommate’s Instagram account. And worse of all, your mother signed you up for a job you did not consent to.

“You did what?”

Your mother blinked back at you, feigning innocence. “I heard from Mrs. Lee—you know, our neighbor down the street that attends the local country club—and she said that they were hiring for the summer. You know how rich people love their golf and fancy dinners.”

“And you just decided to volunteer me?” You couldn’t believe her. “I don’t want to work at some prissy country club.”

“Weren’t you just complaining about being broke last week?” She really did not need to expose you like that. “This’ll be good for you, honey.”

Thus, you found yourself standing in front of the country club not even a week later. They hadn’t even asked you to do an interview; you just talked to a manager on the phone and she said for you to just come in. Honestly, too suspiciously easy but what could you do about it? Your mother had been right—you did need the money.

When you arrived, you were immediately whisked away into training. There, one of the girls, Soyoung, fitted you into the uniform—a plain white polo and khaki shorts—and told you what you’d be doing here.

“So, there are a lot of different areas here,” she began, “as you can see from how big this country club is. So, you might find yourself working in different areas occasionally…but for now, you’re going to be on the course with the drink cart.”

Soyoung explained that as the drink cart girl, you’d be driving a golf cart around while handing out beer and other drinks to the golfers on the course. It seemed easy enough, except you’d never driven a golf cart before…or tried to sell people something. However, Soyoung assured you it was easy.

But that was about an hour ago. Since then, a lot has happened. You managed to get the golf cart to work, but it is considerably different from an actual car. The forward/backwards switches were tripping you up. Because of that, you already knocked over a display…or two.

Which leads you to your most embarrassing moment.

For some reason, you forgot that being back in your hometown means the possibility of running into people you went to high school with. The thought just didn’t seem to come to mind. Being off at university has made you forget about all of those idiots you used to be around every day. Until now, when you bump into one of them. Literally.

You really hadn’t seen him behind you; then again, you weren’t looking, which was probably not the greatest idea. But you blindly backed up and hit him. Not that you were going fast or anything, but he did cause an outburst.

“Oh my—fuck! Watch where you’re going!”

Horrified, you press onto the breaks. Turning around, an apology begins to fall from your lips. “I am so sorry. It’s my first time—”

“Y/n?”

You freeze at the voice; it sounds awfully familiar. Blinking a few times, your eyes focus on the person in front of you. And your stomach sinks. Standing in front of you is none other than Jung Hoseok—the last person you ever expected to see again.

He must see the recognition fill your eyes because he instantly smirks. “Wow, it really is you. It’s been a while, huh? Haven’t seen you since graduation.”

An awkward laugh passes through your teeth. “Yeah…it really has.”

“Didn’t expect to see you here,” his smirk seems to widen, and his eyes travel down to your clothes. “You work here or something?”

“Yeah…just started today, actually.”

He nods appreciatively. “Nice. Well, I’m here almost every day, so, I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other.”

I hope not. “Sure.”

Just as Hoseok opens his mouth to say something else, someone calls his name. He looks away from you, and that’s when you finally allow yourself a moment to look at him. For the first time, you realize how long a year is and how much change can happen in that time frame. Even though it irks you a bit to think about, he looks really good—even in his damn polo and khakis.

You take in the curved slope of his nose, the way his brows are perfectly arched to match his equally perfect eyes. And you’re almost blinded by his pearly white smile. Perhaps, Hoseok has always been attractive—dark, windswept hair and all. You’ve just never wanted to admit it; even after that one—

“Catch you around, y/n,” he suddenly says, and that’s when you realize he’s caught you. He smirks and shoots you a wink as he walks away, leaving you to mentally kick yourself alone.

***

In high school, you and Jung Hoseok were in different crowds. He was preppy and popular—kind of snooty, to be honest—and you were just normal. Not popular, but not a complete wallflower either. Despite not being in the same circles, you both had a few classes together; which meant that you knew each other decently well. At least, you knew enough about Hoseok that you wanted nothing to do with him.

Except for that one, momentarily lapse of judgment, your conscious suddenly reminds you. But you’d rather not think about that right now.

Another thing about Hoseok that you knew of was his background; he came from money—a lot of it, actually. You don’t know exactly what his family does, but they’re those old money types; the kind of rich people that have been rich forever. Which helped to explain his popularity in high school, and how he had a country club membership now.

You wished you knew that before you got the job here.

As you drive around the golf course, feeling more comfortable driving the cart now, you may or may not be on the lookout for Hoseok. Now that you know he’s here, your eyes seem to search for him everywhere. And it’s not because you want to see him; you want to avoid him, if possible.

It’s not until you’re halfway through the course that you see him with a group of other guys, which—to your displeasure—are also people you went to high school with. It’s fitting though, you presume, considering they were all close then as well.

You don’t know anything about golf, but you watch as Hoseok lines up his club to the ball. He swings only once, and the ball flies. You follow where it goes and watch as it hits the grass and rolls right into the hole. His friends cheer for him as he turns around with a smug look on his face. “And that, everyone, is how you fucking do it.”

“Nice, man,” one person—who you recognize as Jeon Jeongguk—says, moving to pat him on the back.

“The motherfucking GOAT,” another—Kim Namjoon—laughs.

“Maybe you should just go pro or something, dude,” the last guy says, and you recognize him as Kim Seokjin. “Because you’ve hit an ace, birdie or eagle at every hole.”

Hoseok laughs at that. “Maybe I’m just lucky today.”

“Dude probably just had good ass last night,” Namjoon smirks. “So, who was it?”

“A gentleman does not kiss and tell, my friend,” Hoseok winks, and you can’t help but roll your eyes at the banter between all of these men. Disgusting. “But if you really want to know…”

“Not you trying to get Hoseok’s sloppy seconds,” Seokjin speaks directly to Namjoon. “Because we all know how that went the first time with—”

“It wasn’t my fault Katie caught feelings,” Hoseok interrupts, walking back towards the rest of his friends. “I told her it was a one-time thing.”

Jeongguk struggles not to laugh as he moves up to line his club and ball. “And then you introduced her to Namjoon.”

“And she used him to get closer to…” Seokjin starts to say, but then he notices you. You’ve never seen someone straighten up so quickly. “How long have you been sitting there?”

“Long enough,” you say as three pairs of eyes turn to look in your direction as well. “Um, drinks?”

“Took you long enough to get here, y/n. I was starting to wonder when you’d arrive,” Hoseok takes a step in your direction, and you watch as the rest of the guys do a double take.

Namjoon is the first to speak, “Ah…y/n. Yes, I remember you…we had chemistry together, right?”

“Oh my gosh, you were in my calculus class!” Jeongguk exclaims, golf club still mid-air.

“I don’t think we had any classes together,” Seokjin says with a pout. “Because if we did, I would’ve remembered you for sure.”

For some reason, you feel your cheeks get hotter. “Um, thanks?”

You can tell they want to say more to you, but Hoseok shoots his friends a look you can’t see, and they close their mouths immediately. Turning back to you, he takes another step close to your golf cart. “A beer for each of us.”

“Aren’t you all underage—”

“No one cares here, y/n,” he cuts you off with a smirk. “Besides, Seokjin’s father owns this country club—we can do whatever the fuck we want.”

Shock passes through you at this news, mouth dropping at the realization that Hoseok and his friends might be more privileged than you originally thought.

“And we don’t usually have to pay for anything, but”—he fishes for something in his pocket— “here.”

You look down at his extended hand, where a crumpled 100-dollar bill sits, and practically gawk at it. Who carries such large bills around so casually? “What—?”

“Keep the change,” he stares you right in the eyes, and you have no other choice but to accept the money.

“Thanks,” you manage to say before reaching around to grab four beers from the cooler.

As each bottle is plucked from your hands, Hoseok is the last person to grab his; and the way his fingers accidentally touch your own seems like no accident at all. Although it was only for a few seconds at most, his touch leaves your skin burning. Burning for what? You don’t know; but it lingers the rest of your shift in a way that is so distracting, you nearly hit someone else with the golf cart.

***

“So let me get this story straight, you saw a guy you fucked for the first time in a year and now you don’t know what to do with yourself. Worst of all, his presence at your new job is going to be the death of you.”

You cringe at your roommates’ words. “God, why do you have to say it like that.”

“I mean, that’s who he is right?” her voice echoes through the screen.

She’s not wrong, but it still doesn’t sit right with you. “When you say it like that, it’s just weird.”

“Y/n, you act like you haven’t fucked other guys before.”

“Yes, but what happened with Jung Hoseok was a mistake,” you breathe. “It was never supposed to happen.”

Her pixilated expression softens upon seeing your clear distress. “I understand, babe. We all do things we regret.”

But it wasn’t that you necessarily regretted sleeping with Hoseok. No, you very much enjoyed it—maybe too much—which is why it was wrong. So fucking wrong. It wasn’t like he coerced you into that bedroom; you willingly followed him inside. And you can’t even blame it on the alcohol because you had been as sober as the day you were born.

It was graduation weekend, and everyone had come out to celebrate. You really didn’t want to go, but some of your friends forced you. Just enjoy the time we still have together, y/n, they had said. Ironic, because you no longer spoke to any of them.

Around the fire, behind the massive patio of someone’s house, drinks were poured and passed around. Even though you held a red solo cup in your hand, the murky liquid didn’t draw you in; you hated the way alcohol tasted back then. Still kind of do. But you simply pretended like you were enjoying yourself.

Every single part of you wanted to leave early that night, but you didn’t. You ended up staying because of Hoseok. It was something about the way he carried himself at that bonfire that night. Before, you never saw him as anything more than a spoiled brat; however, the flames of the fire seemed to soften him before your eyes. Because before you knew it, Hoseok pulled you away from the stares of everyone else.

You don’t even remember what happened—what you two talked about or didn’t talk about. But something happened before he kissed you. Unfortunately, it’s all a blur now.

After swelling your lips with, what seemed like, a thousand kisses, he told you he wanted more; and you told him yes. The memory of him rushing with you through the house and into a vacant room still burns hotly in your mind. You had been giddy with nerves and excitement as he pushed you against the closed door, sucking the air from your lungs.

Hoseok ripped your clothes off with practiced hands, clearly experienced with this, and made you come undone more times than you can recall. Throughout this whole exchange, not much was said; but no words were needed when he could read your body so well.

The both of you ended up falling asleep like that—tangled in each other’s arms. And when you woke up a few hours later to the rising sun, horror filled your veins like a shock of ice.

You left without saying anything. Not that you think he would’ve cared either way. Jung Hoseok seemed like he would be used to stuff like that.

You just never thought you’d see him again one year later.

But here he is.

***

During your next few weeks at the country club, you try your best to avoid Hoseok.

This, however, proves difficult to do since you can hear his laughter echoing everywhere. From the hallways to the range, you can’t seem to escape him at all. And it doesn’t help that his friends all seem to be around too.

Every time you catch even the smallest glimpse of him, you turn in the opposite direction. You aren’t sure if he can tell that you’re avoiding him or not, but you don’t care—you just want to get this summer over with already.

“Y/n!”

Turing in the direction your name is being called, you see Soyoung walking towards you. You offer her a tight smile, hoping she isn’t here to tell you that you’re in trouble or something. “Soyoung. What’s up?”

“Do you mind helping me clean up a little by the pool? I know you just got done on the range, but a girl called out and I could really use the help.” She gives you this sad puppy look, which means you can’t refuse her offer. So, begrudgingly, you follow her back outside.

In the hot summer sun, the large crystal blue pool looks like temptation. Soyoung notices your face and laughs. At her laughter, you realize you’ve never seen the pool this close. You pass by the canopy lined pool lounge every day, but you’re not a maid here or on lifeguard duty so you’ve never had a reason to linger very long.

“Looks inviting, huh?”

All you can do is hum in agreement as you begin helping Soyoung pick up disserted pool towels and throwing them into the hamper. As you’re bending down to retrieve a particularly wet towel on the concrete, the hot sun beating down your back is suddenly gone. You look up and notice there’s a shadow blocking the sun—a suspiciously familiar shadow.

Immediately, your back straightens, and you turn around to face a shirtless Hoseok. His hair is wet from the pool, which means beads of water are cascading down his chest. You try not to stare, but he’s literally so close; there’s nowhere else to look. Your eyes follow the towel in his hand as he begins to dry himself up, going from his abdomen before they travel down to the dark trail of hair that leads to—

You freeze and force your eyes back up, but the smile on his face tells you that you got caught—again.

“Like what you see?” His smile seems to grow wider at your expression.

You scowl. “In your dreams, Jung Hoseok.”

He leans down, face inches from yours, whispering, “If I remember correctly, that dream already came true…one year ago.”

Before you can say anything, he stands back up to his full height and brushes past you—his naked skin burning holes through your clothes. Once he’s a few steps away from you, you realize his friends were also there the whole time. Embarrassment burns your cheeks at what they might’ve thought, but their expressions remain too ambiguous for you to read as they follow their friend.

“I didn’t know you knew Hoseok.”

Your head whips towards Soyoung. “I don’t…I mean, not really. We just went to high school together.”

But your coworker doesn’t seem to buy it. “Really? I’ve been working here for a few summers and those guys have always been around, especially because Seokjin’s dad is the owner. I’ve tried to make small talk with them a few times, but they’re pretty intimidating.”

“They’re pricks,” you tell her. “Typical entitled rich boys.”

“I suppose so,” she hums, throwing the last towel into the bin. “Anyway, can I ask for another favor?”

All you can do is nod. “What?”

“I have another thing I have to do,” Soyoung starts, making you realize she works pretty hard here, “so, can you put these towels in the laundry room? You don’t have to start a load or anything; just leave them and one of the maids will wash them later.”

She slips the laundry room key into your pocket, telling you to give it back to her later, as she rushes off to her next task. Which leaves you to find the laundry room by yourself. After nearly ten minutes of searching, you find it tucked in a small hallway.

Opening the door, you push the dirty towel hamper into the room. You look around and see multiple washers, dryers, and a lot of storage shelves filled with miscellaneous items. You’re so caught up in looking around the room that you almost don’t hear the door close. At the sound of the lock clicking into place, you turn around; immediately, your heart starts beating faster.

“What are you doing in here?”

Hoseok leans against the door, no longer shirtless like before, and smirks at you. “I was following you.”

Like that’s not weird at all. “Stalker much?”

“Just wanted to know why you’ve been avoiding me, that’s all,” he pushes off the door, taking a step closer. You unconsciously take a step back, hitting the hamper.

“I haven’t been avoiding you,” you lie.

He just blinks at you. “You’re a bad liar, you know that?”

You’re shocked that he can read you so well. “Okay, so what if I am avoiding you? It’s not like you should care. Just leave me alone.”

For a brief moment, something passes over his eyes; but the emotion’s gone before you can think about it. “I don’t think I can do that.”

“What?” Now, it was your turn to blink rapidly.

Hoseok takes another step towards you, severing whatever distance there had been before. His arms move to cage you between himself and the dirty hamper. Slowly, he leans down, making sure not to move his eyes away from yours. “I can’t just leave you alone—not when you’re the only thing on my mind.”

“What are you trying to say—” his hand wrapping around your jaw shuts you up.

“To put it simply, I can’t stop thinking about you—about that night after graduation,” he says, eyes swirling with a darkness you know all too well.

“But that was a year ago,” you manage to say through clenched teeth, and he loosens his grip on you.

His signature smirk lights his lips. “So?”

“I was drunk,” you lie again. “I don’t even remember what happened.”

“So, you’re telling me you don’t remember this?” One hand curves around your hip. “Or this?” Another wraps around your waist. “Or this?” He plants his lips onto your jaw.

You release a harsh breath as the memories of that night come flooding back. Heat begins to pool in your stomach from his touch. As he peppers kisses along your jaw and down your neck, your hands move to fist his shirt. Just as a moan threatens to leave your throat, he pulls away.

Your lips part in indignation at the loss of touch, and Hoseok just smirks even wider. “I thought you said you don’t remember?”

“I’m going to kill you, Jung Hoseok,” your frustration is through the roof.

“Tell me you remember.”

Right now, there are two sides of you fighting. There’s one part of you that wants to tell Hoseok you don’t remember a single thing—that you really had been drinking graduation night. But there’s an even larger part of you that wants him so bad—to feel the same high you felt a year ago.

So, you settle with, “But I’m working right now.”

Hoseok’s eyes turn obsidian as his smirk drops. “I’ll be quick.”

He pulls you away from the hamper and pushes you, stomach first, against one of the washers. Suddenly, you realize what’s about to happen and you try to force the dopey smile off your face by biting your lip. In one swift motion, he unbuttons and pulls both your shorts and panties down to your ankles. By the sudden coolness below, you already know you’re soaking.

And Hoseok must realize this too because you feel him swipe a long finger over your folds. You instinctively jerk back, letting out a moan at the slight pressure. “Hoseok—”

“Fuck, y/n, you’re so wet for me already,” he groans, using a second finger against your wetness. He slowly rubs your clit and you can’t help but tighten your grip against the cool machine. “Wonder if you’ve been wet since we saw each other earlier.”

You roll your eyes. Typical, cocky Jung Hoseok. “Of course not, you douchebag.”

“I beg to differ,” he hums, inserting a single digit inside of you. “So tight—just like I remembered. Tell me, y/n, has anyone else had the pleasure to fuck your pretty pussy after me?”

His words cause you tense for a moment, before replying, “Yes, asshole. I went to college. What do you think?”

“I’m thinking that I’m about to fuck you so good,” he starts and finishes with a whisper, “that you won’t remember any of them.”

If you weren’t already turned on before, you were now. Hoseok continues to fuck with his finger, slowly adding a second one, edging you until you’re a panting mess before him. “S-Stop teasing—I thought you said you were going to be quick?”

“I will be,” he promises, and you can hear him pushing the waistband of his swim trunks down. You’re dying to see his cock again, so you turn and nearly drool at the sight of his angry red tip. For some reason, he looks bigger than you remember and that worries you a little. “What? Think it won’t fit?”

You raise your eyes to look at his, and he has the sexiest expression on his face you’ve ever seen. “No. It fit before, right?”

He licks his lips as he brings his cock close to your entrance, brushing his head back and forth against your clit. You turn back around, arching your back more in hopes that he’ll finally just stick it inside already. But before you can get too lost in the moment, you gasp.

“What’s wrong?” He actually sounds concerned.

“Do you have a condom?” you ask, facing him again. And by the pained expression on his face, he doesn’t. You let out a frustrated groan at getting all worked up for nothing. You’re about to reach down for your panties when he pushes you back into place. “What?”

“Are you on the pill?”

“Yes,” you answer, “but the pill is only—”

“I’ll pull out,” he says. “And I’m clean, I swear.”

You look into his eyes and seeing the desperation in them makes you want to indulge him. “I’m clean too.”

Hoseok breathes a sigh of relief. “Thank fucking god.”

“You better pull out, or I swear Jung—”

You fail to get the rest of your words out because he slams his cock into you. And you’re right—he is bigger than you remember. He bottoms out at your cervix and you feel like a mess already. You both moan at the feeling of being connected like this again, after so long, and Hoseok keeps his promise and wastes no time.

He thrusts into you hard and fast, leaving you to do nothing but take everything he has to give. “Fuck, Hoseok—oh my god.”

Earlier, he talked about fucking your past sexual exploits out of you, but there was no need to mention anything at all; no one compares to him. They never had a chance.

“Shit, you feel so good wrapped around me,” he groans, digging his fingers into your hips.

And soon enough, you feel your orgasm approaching. It’s slow building, but it’s there and you want it. You figure you’ll just chase it yourself. Reaching a hand down, you find your clit and begin rubbing it. But just as soon as you feel yourself get closer to the high you desire, your hand is ripped away.

There is a sudden weight on your back as Hoseok whispers in your ear, “That’s my job, sweetheart.”

His fingers find your sensitive nub and you come immediately, screaming a string of curses into your arms in hopes that no one hears you. As you ride your high, you feel him pull out. With a groan, his cum spills all over your ass.

As you try to catch your breath and calm your erratic heart, you feel Hoseok pull his shorts back up and take a step back. All of the sudden, a strange feeling builds up in your chest. Is this what loss feels like? But you don’t have much time to dwell on your own thoughts because you feel a towel wiping your body.

You turn and see Hoseok cleaning the mess he made; but instead of looking down, he’s looking right at you.

“What?” you ask, sounding defensive.

“Nothing,” he says, and you hate that you can’t read people well. You wish you could know what he’s thinking right now.

After he cleans between your thighs, you pull your clothes back up your body. You still have a few hours left of your shift, so you hope you don’t look too much like a mess right now. Pulling your hair into a low ponytail, you feel awkwardness hit you like a truck. What are you supposed to say now?

“Uh…I have to go,” you can’t even look at him. “We have a meeting this afternoon…”

You don’t have a meeting, but you don’t know what else to say. But unlike you, Hoseok can take a hint and nods. “I’ll leave first…see you around…and thanks.”

He stares at you for a moment longer before leaving the room. You look out to make sure he’s a considerable distance away before you follow, ducking into the bathroom to check your appearance. Once you look into the mirror, you barely recognize the person you’re seeing.

The girl in front of you has flushed cheeks and sweaty hair.

You spend the rest of your shift daydreaming about what happened. In all honesty, your body aches in the best possible way. And even after your shift, once you get home and lay in your bed, you’re still thinking about everything.

Did you really willingly have sex with Jung Hoseok a second time? Once is a mistake, twice clearly means there was choice involved. What would your roomie say if she knew? You don’t plan on telling her—at least, not until you get back to school. If she knew you had succumbed to his charms this early in the summer, she’d chew you out for sure. Besides, you won’t let it happen again.

There will be no more slip ups this summer.

***

“Oh, fuck—yes. Right there…!”

You cling to the shelf as Hoseok fucks you from behind. Your legs feel impossibly weak from being in such an uncomfortable position, but you couldn’t care less right now—you just want to come.

“Don’t be so loud, sweetheart,” he groans through clenched teeth. “Don’t want to get caught now, do we?”

“N-No…but if you d-don’t make me c-come quicker, Hoseok…” you moan, and he proceeds to thrust faster. You don’t want to scream, but it just feels so fucking good for you not to. “I’m going to—”

Hoseok clamps a hand over your mouth as you come undone. Your eyes shut on their own accord as you scream into his hand, body shaking from the impact of your orgasm. He curses, probably from how tight you’re gripping his cock, but continues to thrust a few more times before pulling out and painting you in strings of milky white.

Once your body shops shaking, he pulls you up and presses a kiss onto your exposed shoulder. “You’re amazing.”

You can’t help but smile a little. “Thanks.”

The two of you quickly clean up and readjust your clothes. You’re supposed to be organizing after all—at the place you are working at for the summer—not fucking an old high school classmate. Hoseok leaves with a promise of finding you later, and you’re left alone with your thoughts again.

What just happened?

You really did mean it when you said that you didn’t want to have sex with Hoseok again, but here you are anyway. It’s already been a month since the first incident, and you’ve been sneaking quickies around the entire country club with Hoseok.

Every time you think you’re alone, he manages to find you and that infuriating smirk makes you helpless. You’ve lost track of how many times he’s already managed to make your panties drop. But even though he seeks you out for sex, every now and then he sticks around to have a conversation with you.

You feel your resolve crumbling away every time you get a glimpse of the human Hoseok.

“So, what are you studying in school?” he asked one day, settling beside you on the floor of the laundry room.

“Is it bad that I’m undecided?” You tried to laugh it off, but the sober expression on his face stopped you.

He shook his head. “No, you have time.”

And just like, all felt okay in the world.

“What about you?” you managed to ask.

The scrunch of his nose had been nearly undetectable, but you noticed it. “Business. My father wants me to take over the company one day.”

“And you don’t?” the question slipped past your lips without a second thought. You’d been horrified.

“I don’t mind business, but I don’t want my father’s. I’d rather start my own.”

This truth had been rather insightful, and you couldn’t help but change the way you looked at Hoseok—only a little though. You still thought he was an asshole.

After another moment pondering your idiocy, you go back to whatever you were doing before. Just as you place the last shampoo bottle on the rack, a knock sounds on the door. You jump, wondering if it’s Hoseok again; but when it opens, it’s just Soyoung. “Hey—you’ve been in here for a while. Almost done?”

If only she knew.

“Uh, yeah. Actually, just finished,” you try to smile. “Got a little distracted in here, I guess.” A little more than distracted.

Soyoung offers an understanding expression. “Feel that. These storage rooms can be a bit overwhelming.”

“Did you need something?” you ask, changing the conversation.

“I actually bring word from our manager. You don’t work tomorrow night, right?” Tomorrow is Saturday and one of the few days you actually have off this week. You’re dreading what Soyoung is about to tell you. “She asked if you could come in for a few hours—just to help with dinner. They’re expecting a big crowd tomorrow night since there’s a fundraiser happening during the day. It’ll be like three hours max.”

You think about it for a moment, rolling your lips between your teeth. Honestly, you don’t want to come in on your day off—who wants to work when they don’t have to—but three hours doesn’t sound so bad.

“Just three hours?”

Soyoung nods. “Just three hours. I’ll be helping with the dinner too, so we’ll get to work together. And afterwards, we can go to a party, if you want.”

That piques your interest, even though you aren’t one to go out often. “What party?”

“There’s a few houses on this property—they’re rented out to people who want to stay at the country club for an extended amount of time. And I heard from some of the other employees that a party is being hosted at one of the houses. Anyone and everyone is invited—even us.”

For some reason, you actually want to go to this party. Why? Maybe you just want to forget about Jung Hoseok’s charismatic smirk. A party should be a good distraction. So, you tell Soyoung that you’ll come work tomorrow and attend the party with her.

And the girl gives you hug, promising that it’ll be loads of fun.

You hope she’s right.

***

The next night, you arrive to work in a different version of your uniform. Instead of the usual polo and shorts the country club has you normally donned in, you’re wearing a long sleeve button up and black slacks. In your bag, you brought a change of clothes for later. Thankfully, you remembered to grab it on your way out. Imagine having to wear your server uniform to a party.

That would’ve been a social suicide.

You meet up with Soyoung for a few minutes before the dinner staff collects you all together. They debrief about tonight’s expectations and everyone’s roles. Next, they list all the jobs and when they call your name, you find out you’re going to be taking orders.

“Do I also need to bring the food out?” you ask.

One of the leaders shakes their head. “No, we’ll have people specifically there for that.”

After all the roles are established, dinner officially begins and you try not to look dumbstruck when you walk into the formal dining hall. This is the first time you’ve been in this room and it’s absolutely magnificent. You continue staring around for a moment before walking towards your section of the room—a row of tables by the window overlooking the setting sun.

You proceed taking orders from the first table—a family of four—and then the next—a group of six—before walking to a table that only seats two people. Probably a date. You barely look at the couple as you push a strand of loose hair behind your ear and pull out the notepad.

“Can I take your orders?” you ask, click your pen.

“Yes,” says a nasally voice to your right. You follow it, meeting the profile of a gorgeous girl. Long, silky hair drapes down her back in waterfalls and she’s wearing a tight pink dress. You think that she’ll turn her attention to you, but she doesn’t; she keeps staring at her date. “I’ll have the ratatouille. What about you, Hobi?”

Hobi? “I told you not to call me that, Nina.”

She pouts. “But you let me call you that when we were kids.”

“Yeah, we were kids then.”

You spare a look at Nina’s date and nearly falter when you realize who this Hobi is. It’s none other than Jung Hoseok himself. He’s wearing a fitted charcoal suit, hair slicked back slightly. Even from this view, you can tell his suit is expensive; definitely imported and tailored fitted to his body. Still, you can feel yourself salivating. The man looks like absolute sin, and you feel a sudden flash of jealousy because he’s on a date with someone else—someone he seems to know pretty well.

But you realize you have no right to feel that emotion at all. He’s not yours to have. You both just happen to be sexually compatible. That is all. You two never talked about being exclusive. He is allowed to see other girls, even though the thought makes you feel a little sick.

Hoseok brings his eyes to yours, flashing you a smirk that has your knees weak. “Y/n.”

“You two know each other?” Nina asks, but your eyes don’t move from his.

“A little,” he says. That’s an understatement.

“We just went to high school together,” you add, playing along with his little game. “We weren’t friends though, just happened to be in a few classes together.”

Hoseok feigns hurt, bringing a hand up to his chest. “Can’t believe you think so little of me.”

“Oh, Hobi,” Nina interjects, her hand finding his on top of the table. You zone in on the touch, blood pressure rising when you realize he hasn’t pushed her away.

You try not to roll your eyes. “Yes, poor Hobi.”

When you turn back to him, he’s already looking at you. You stiffen for a second, wondering if his eyes have been on you this whole time. And by the scathing sensation you feel on the side of your head—Nina’s eyes, no doubt—you realize he probably has. “Um. Anyway, what did you want?”

He smirks again. “I’ll have the same, y/n.”

You quickly jot it down and excuse yourself before you start thinking too much.

The rest of your short shift, you make sure not to walk by Hoseok’s table again. Whenever you’re around him, you can’t think properly. He always seems to cloud your best judgment, which is why you’ve already been fucking him this summer. You allow work to consume you, which makes the time fly by. Before you know it, the three hours is already up and you’re headed to the bathroom with Soyoung.

“See? Wasn’t that bad, huh?” she asks from the cubicle beside you.

It was terrible. “Could’ve been worse, I guess.”

“I’m so excited about the party,” Soyoung changes the conversation. “It’s been so long since I’ve had a night out.”

You can’t help the next words that bubble out of you. “Why do you overwork yourself?”

Honestly, you didn’t mean to ask. After all, it isn’t your business to ask such questions anyway. Sure, you were curious about Soyoung but it’s not your place. You’ve been really testing boundaries recently.

“It just kind of happens,” she answers, which shocks you. Not the answer itself, but the fact that she even answered you at all. “I’ve been working here for so long, I guess I just can’t help it.”

“Well,” you sigh, “don’t overwork yourself. Live a little, you know.”

Soyoung laughs. “I’ll try.”

You step out of the stall first, moving to stand in front of the full-length mirror. Tonight, you opted for a flowy crop top and tight skirt. Not something you’d usually wear, but tonight’s different than most nights—you want to enjoy yourself. You pull your hair out of its tight pony, humming in pleasure at the sensation of your hair being free.

“Okay, I see you with the sexy hair.”

You didn’t even hear Soyoung’s stall unlocking or opening. Turning in her direction, you see she’s wearing something similar to you. Only, both her top and skirt are flowy. “More like messy hair.”

She laughs. “It looks good still.”

After running a hand through your hair a few times, and fixing your makeup, the two of you throw your bags into your respective vehicles and walk across the country club’s property. Not even five minutes later, you can hear music playing. Across the distance, you can see a massive house—no, villa—lit up with lights and people all over the place.

“Woah,” you breathe.

“Right?” Soyoung chuckles. “I told you this party was going to be it.”

“I thought you said it was going to be a house party.”

“It is?” She seems confused.

You shake your head. “Are all the houses on the country club property this big?”

Even in the dim lighting, you can see her nod. “I think so. Maybe not this big, but they’re all large enough to house multiple people.”

Damn. You wonder who’s renting this place for the summer. It’s huge, so there must be more than one person; maybe a family? Though, that seems odd since a party filled with young people is happening right now. However, you can’t even begin to fathom how much it costs to rent. How can anyone actually afford that?

But all thoughts of money fade when you actually reach the villa. You assume there’s mainly college-aged people here, though it’s difficult to tell age these days. Soyoung leads the way as you two maneuver past groups of people and into the villa itself. Once inside, you have to force yourself not to gawk at everything.

Grand doesn’t even begin to describe the interior. There’s so much to look at and before you can even begin to look at everything, Soyoung pulls you away. She finds the kitchen and hands you a drink from the cooler. You remove the lid and begin sipping, tasting the slight bitterness of alcohol on your tongue.

“So what do we do now?” You’re acting like such a noob.

Soyoung slants a look at you. “We mingle, maybe dance a little. Do you like dancing?”

You bite the inside of your lip. “Umm, kind of?”

Of course, you’ve been to your fair share of college parties—where dancing and drinking do not mix well. But you don’t mind it; you just don’t think you’re very good. You voice this thought out loud and Soyoung rolls her eyes.

“You don’t have to be good at dancing. You just have to do it. Usually, it comes naturally.”

You aren’t too sure about that statement. But as Soyoung pulls you in a new direction, away from the kitchen, you realize that you have no choice. In another large room adjacent to the kitchen, someone has started a makeshift dancefloor. The bass is booming against the wall and strobe lights illuminate the room.

Even though you’re struggling, Soyoung pulls you both into the middle of the room and spins you around to the music. “I can’t.”

“Sure you can,” she shouts over the music, proceeding to move her body dramatically. You can’t help but laugh. Shaking your head, you realize dancing really isn’t a big deal and you allow Soyoung to move you to the beat. And eventually, you can do it by yourself.

You close your eyes as you sway to the music, occasionally bumping into Soyoung on purpose. It even gets to the point where you feel comfortable enough to lift your arms into the air, which is something you’d never thought you’d do.

It’s not until a few songs later that you finally open your eyes. And when you do, you immediately meet his gaze.

A jolt of electricity goes up your spine at the look Jung Hoseok is giving you right now. He’s leaning against the fireplace in the room across from you, changed out of that expensive suit he was wearing earlier. Now, he’s only wearing the white button up—sleeves rolled to his elbows—and a pair of navy-blue shorts. In his hand he nurses a beer, and that’s when you realize he’s still with that girl from earlier.

You try to keep your expression neutral as you stare at them; but by the way Hoseok’s hard gaze morphs into something smugger, you know you’re doing a bad job at concealing your feelings.

Dammit.

You quickly whisper something to Soyoung about needing some air as you look for the nearest exit. Unfortunately, you don’t know your way around the house. You meander around for a moment before you find a door that leads to the backyard. Breathing a sigh of relief, you open the door and walk into the cool summer night.

There’s a pathway of rocks that leads to the dock of a body of water—a body of water that you didn’t even know existed. You aren’t sure what to call it; a large pond? Whatever it is, you take the pathway until you reach the end of the dock. There, you settle on the edge and stare at the murky depths.

Bodies of water like this were unpredictable. You had no idea how deep it actually was. It could seem shallow, but in actuality be sixty feet deep. For a second, you consider dipping your toes in; however, you decide against it. Who knows what’s in there?

You allow the echoes of cicadas and other small insects to fill your senses. Eventually, you even lay down on the dock and close your eyes, trying not to think too much about—

“What are you doing?”

Your eyes flash open. And as they adjust to the night, you make out Hoseok’s infuriating perfect face. He’s leaning over you, and it pisses you off that he looks good even from this obscene angle. “Go away.”

“Well, aren’t you grumpy,” he hums. “It seemed like you were having a great time shaking you’re a—”

“Hoseok,” you breathe. “Leave me alone. I don’t want to play your stupid games right now.”

He cracks a rare half-smile. “Who said anything about playing games?”

When you don’t answer him, Hoseok’s smile falls and he frowns. You don’t care what else he has to say; you really meant it when you said you’re not in the mood for him right now. However, the boy doesn’t seem to take the hint like he usually does. Because he settles right beside you on the dock, laying down so he’s now eye-level with you.

“You’re insufferable,” you roll your eyes, shifting away from him.

“That’s what you like about me.”

“Who said I liked you?”

“I think your actions speak louder than you think,” he says, sounding awfully calm right now, which is very unlike him. You have no other choice but to look at him. And when you do, your breath gets caught in your throat. Even in the darkness, his eyes seem to sparkle as he looks at you—so fucking intently like he’s seeing you for the first time.

You don’t like it.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you force your eyes away, but his stare burns your skin anyway.

“You were jealous at dinner, weren’t you?”

The scoff that leaves your lips sounds beyond bitter. “No, of course not. Why would I be?”

“If you were jealous,” Hoseok begins, which makes your stomach churn, “don’t be.”

“Huh?” you ask, still not able to look at him.

“Don’t be,” he repeats. “Don’t be jealous of Nina.”

“I wasn’t jealous of—”

He cuts you off. “Don’t be jealous of her. She’s just a family friend.”

“But you two seem so close…”

Hoseok laughs. “I just entertain her because our parents have been friends forever. I’m pretty sure they want me to marry someone like her. I mean, she’s hot”—you suck in a breath— “but she’s not you.”

Your eyes finally give him and meet his, and he’s still staring at you. “What’s that supposed to mean.”

As you both look at each other, you expect him to say something. But he never does. Instead, he scoots a few inches closer to you—so close your noses are almost touching—and runs his fingers through your hair. Weaving his digits through your still messy hair, he pulls your head towards his and your lips meet.

And underneath the moonlight, you allow Hoseok to kiss you until your head is dizzy and you have no choice but to let him consume you again.

***

The next morning, you find yourself wrapped in pristine white sheets that feel like silk beneath your fingers. But that’s not the only thing you’re wrapped in. A heavy arm is slumped over your waist and the body heat emanating from him sets yourself ablaze.

Last night, after Hoseok bruised your mouth and skin with his lips at the dock, you asked him why he was at the party.

“This is my house,” he said so casually, like it wasn’t a big deal at all. Your eyes bulged out of their sockets. “Well, my house for the summer at least.”

“You’ve been here this whole time?”

He nodded. “Our actual house is in the city, and I hate driving back and forth so much—especially since I’m here with the guys nearly every day. So, my parents decided to rent this.”

You didn’t know what to say. But you realized there was nothing that needed to be said because since this is where he was staying, it meant his bedroom was here too. You let him walk you back to the villa and up the stairs into his room, to which you had to text Soyoung and let her know you were headed home early. A lie. You told her you felt sick. Another lie. But she didn’t seem to mind. She had found a few other employees of the country club there and would walk back with them.

After losing track of how many orgasms he gave you, youth both shared a bottle of vodka he had stashed underneath his bed. And tipsy you had no inhibitions.

Every question Hoseok asked, you answered honestly.

“Favorite color?”

“Red.”

“Do you like working at the country club?”

“It’s a job.”

“If you could do anything in the world, what would it be?”

“Spend my life away on some island.”

He laughed. “Really?”

“Island life s-seems fun. It’s relaxing. You don’t have to worry about anything,” you slightly slurred your words. “You?”

“I think island life seems to be the move now.”

You both talked so much. About anything and everything. It reminded you so much of the first time you really spoke to him. Moments like this made Hoseok feel normal, which you don’t know how to feel about yet.

But one thing you realized you did enjoy was his laugh—his real laugh. Not the one he smirked with, but the one he gave when he thought no one else was watching.

You must’ve said something stupid—you honestly can’t recall it now—but when he doubled over in laughter, it was infectious.

The good thing is that you don’t have work today, which means you don’t have to rush anywhere. But you have a feeling that you’ve overstayed your welcome. You didn’t even mean to stay the night, but you’d been so comfortable in Hoseok’s bed that you fell asleep after all the conversations. It was probably the best sleep you’ve ever had.

You’re going to give the credit to Hoseok’s expensive mattress, and definitely not him.

Though, you can’t deny how good it feels to have him spooning you. A part of you wants to stay in this bed forever, but that’s crazy talk—you shouldn’t have come into the bed with him at all. You keep telling yourself—over and over again—that you don’t want to fuck him again.

But you’ve been such a liar.

Now, you’ve accepted the fact that you can’t resist him. You know it’s just sex, but you didn’t want to get involved with him in the first place.

You take in a few breaths as you try to move his arm off of you. Hoseok shifts a little, and you risk a look over your shoulder. When your eyes take in his face, your heart stutters for a moment. With his mouth slightly parted and eyes still firmly closed, you realize that he looks so peaceful asleep. So vulnerable. You have to force yourself from touching him.

What the fuck, y/n?

Turning back around, you gently pry his arm off of you and pray that you don’t wake him. But all your careful maneuvering proves to be futile because his arm releases from your grip and moves back down to your waist. With a squeal, Hoseok pulls you back on his chest.

“Where do you think you’re going?” God, his morning voice is so hot.

“Um, leaving?” you sound like an idiot.

“Stay,” he breathes against the back of your head.

You want to. You really, really want to. “I can’t.”

“Why not?” he asks, snaking his arms underneath the covers to find you—skin still bare from last night’s activities. Your breath hitches as his fingers trail across your skin, each touch feeling like sparks.

“I-I have somewhere I have to be,” you stutter as his rough hand wraps around one of your breasts, squeezing tight. Your nipple hardens immediately.

Hoseok slips the covers off your body, exposing you to the cool air-conditioned room. And without warning, he moves on top of you and begins trailing his lips over your body. You notice that he makes sure to suck those bruises he left scattered across your skin extra hard, purpling them even more.

“Hoseok,” you try not to moan. “I really have t-to—”

His lips crashing onto yours shuts you up. You kiss him back forcefully, nipping his lips with your teeth and running your tongue across his. As you two battle it out, he settles in-between your thighs. Bringing a hand down your abdomen, it slides straight to your cunt—which is already drenched.

He hisses against your lips. “So fucking wet. Thought you had to go?”

“Shut up,” you moan as he runs a finger from your ass to your clit, swirling your juices everywhere. Involuntarily, your hips buck up when he slides a finger inside of you. He gently fucks you like that for a moment, leaving you writhing underneath him. “More, Hoseok—I need more.”

A wicked smile erupts on his face. “Are you going to beg for it?”

An incredulous expression lights your face. You’ve never begged in bed before, and you aren’t going to start now. However, the man on top of you is sure getting a kick out of this. Hoseok moves his finger slowly out of you, which agitates you to no end. If you weren’t so horny right now, you’d kill him.

“No,” you narrow your eyes, not willing to give in.

His finger stops moving. “A shame, really.”

You freeze. “What the fuck, Jung Hoseok?”

“I’m not doing anything until you say please,” he smirks, moving his upper body away from you.

Even though you’re pissed, you can’t help but drink in the Adonis in front of you. Like you, Hoseok is completely naked. Your eyes rake his defined muscles and his thick cock that’s already unbelievably hard. He’s hard for you. The fact that you turn him on makes you feel good—too good.

“Fine,” you shrug, and his smirk falls. “Just get blue balls then.”

As his body goes slack for a moment, you use the opportunity to slip from the bed. But you don’t manage to get very far at all. You probably only take three steps before his arm wraps around you and pulls you back to the bed.

You fall on your back, and Hoseok pins your arms on either side to keep you from moving. Still, you squirm—heart drumming in your chest at the look on his face. His eyes have turned black, and he looks like he wants to devour you. “I’m not begging.”

“We’ll see about that.”

With your arms still pinned, Hoseok lowers his body and your legs spread on their own accord. Fuck you, body. The movement makes him chuckle darkly and he begins peppering kisses along your thigh. Your breath hitches in your throat, which turns into a gasp when he suddenly bites down on your flesh. Not hard enough to draw blood, but it’s enough to be painful.

And as much as you hate to admit it, you like it very much.

Hoseok continues alternating between kissing and biting your thighs until you’re one-hundred-percent positive there is a pool of your wetness on the bed. You know what he’s trying to do and it’s working, but you don’t want to give in. And then he’s so close to your pussy, not even an inch away. You can feel his breath fanning you there. If you just move your hips a little…

“Don’t even think about it,” he moves his head away.

You release a groan of frustration. “Oh my god.”

“If you just say the magic word,” he taunts, lips now on your stomach. He moves low, but never low enough; never where you want him to go.

When he moves up your body, pressing chaste kisses on your nipples before latching his lips on your neck, you release a breathy moan. Hoseok lets out a groan from the back of his throat, hands tightening around your wrists. Fuck, why are the noises he makes even attractive? “Hoseok…”

“Y/n,” he’s still sucking on your neck.

This position, you realize, aligns him perfectly with your body. Again, if you were able to move just a little bit…but Hoseok’s weighing you down with his body, not allowing you to move at all.

“Hoseok,” you say his name again, but he doesn’t respond—he just moves his lips to your ear, nibbling on the sensitive flesh there. And that’s when you crumble. You can’t take it anymore. “Please…please just fuck me already.”

Simultaneously, he curses into your ear as he slides his cock into you. Too perfect—the way he fills you up is too perfect.

You expect Hoseok to fuck you hard, hips slamming into you, but he doesn’t. His thrusts are slow, but the way he hits your cervix has you nearly in tears. Fuck. He releases the hold on your wrists to grip onto either side of your face. With lips ghosting over yours, you tangle your hands into his dark hair.

Your breaths mesh together as he continues to fuck you with slow, measured thrusts. You’ve grown accustomed to the rough way Hoseok likes to fuck; but for some reason, you love this so much more. It’s intimate and makes your chest tighten in a strange way but feels so good you don’t want it to stop.

“Please,” you whisper against his lips again.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” he groans, rolling his hips in a way that has you arching off the bed. Yes.

“Just like t-that,” you say, slanting your mouth to mold against his again.

Your orgasm comes without warning; you moan into Hoseok’s mouth, gripping him closer to you and you ride your high. Through the haze of your earth-shattering orgasm, you hear Hoseok ask if he can come inside you. He’s always pulled out—even last night when he fucked you for hours. But right now you don’t care, and your answer comes in the form of your legs wrapping around his hips.

He kisses you hard and comes inside you a moment later. You’ve never let anyone else come raw inside of you; never trusted anyone else that much. And in that moment, a terrifying thought flashes across your mind.

I’m in love you.

The thought comes so suddenly, burns your brain so hotly, your body stills. Hoseok finally lifts off of you, eyes crinkling in concern. “You okay?”

You quickly try to shake the feeling away. “Um, yeah.”

“You sure? Should I not have come inside you?” he slips out of you, and for some reason you want to cry at the sudden emptiness you feel. “You’re looking pale right now.”

“No, it was fine,” you blink too fast, feeling tears begin to well in your eyes. Get a fucking grip on yourself. “I’m sorry, I really have to go.”

Hoseok doesn’t try to stop you this time when you move away from the bed. You find your clothes on the floor and slip everything back on without looking at him, even though you can feel his gaze on you the entire time. Not bothering to check your appearance, you grab your stuff and move towards his door.

“Y/n,” he calls your name, voice sounding strange, but you don’t want to look at him. If you look at him, you’re going to start crying. And that’s too embarrassing to explain.

You slip out of his bedroom and take the stairs two at a time. As you rush down, you run into someone. “Sorry—”

Looking up, you realize it’s Seokjin; he must’ve stayed the night. Even in your distress, you feel feverish wondering if you were too loud. However, he takes one look at you and stares like he has you all figured out. Your heart threatens to beat out of your chest.

“Did something happen…?” he asks, looking at the door you just left wide open upstairs.

“Don’t worry about it,” you quickly say, adverting your eyes and sidestepping him.

This morning, it’s much easier to find the front door. Just as you’re about to slip out, you hear your name being called again, heavy steps thundering down the stairs. Shit, shit, shit. You break into a run and don’t stop until you have no more air to spare in your lungs. Thankfully, you’re far enough from the villa and close to the country club.

Only then do you allow yourself to fall into the grass as the tears finally cascade down your cheeks.

You’re a fool, you realize. A fool to have fallen in love with someone like Jung Hoseok. Someone who will never feel the same way. Someone who just uses you for a good time. someone who you barely even know. Someone you never wanted to get involved with.

***

You call out of work the next week, claiming to have the stomach bug. But you don’t have the stomach bug; in fact, you’re not even physically ill at all. You just can’t bear the thought of running into Hoseok at the country club.

On the first day, you listen to your sad girl hours playlist on repeat.

During your second day of moping in bed, you half consider quitting your job. Would it be too cowardly? Maybe. Unfortunately, there’s only a few weeks left of summer and you doubt that you’ll be able to find another job.

When the third day arrives, you finally get out of bed and take a proper shower. You didn’t realize how much you needed it.

Your mom knocks on your door on the fourth day. You only know it’s her by the way she taps on your door rhythmically; she’s always done that ever since you were a child. When you don’t respond, she dares to crack the door open. Shit, you forgot to lock it last night.

“Are you feeling better, love?”

You don’t move on the bed, hoping your mother thinks you’re asleep or something. But despite you not moving, she still shuffles into your room and settles herself on the edge of the bed.

“Is this because I haven’t been spending time with you this summer?”

No, mom. It’s me. I fucked up. Although, I would appreciate it if you did spend time with me—like you dragged me here this summer to do.

“I’m really sorry, love,” she whispers, getting up after a moment.

Once you’re sure she’s by the door, you finally open your mouth. “It’s not because of you. It’s…something else.”

You hear her grab onto the door, but she doesn’t say another word before leaving you all alone again.

On the fifth day, the bruises that littered your skin finally start fading. Glancing into the mirror of your bathroom, you run your fingers along the—now greenish-yellow—hickies he left on your neck. Goodness, there were so many. And annoyingly enough, you can still feel exactly where he had touched you—like his hands are still there right now.

Pulling your t-shirt down, you see more evidence of Hoseok’s assault on your chest. You have to stop yourself from looking at the rest of your body.

The sixth day you, finally, spend time pondering that terrifying thought you had about Hoseok. Are you actually in love with him? Do you even know what love feels like? What even is love? You’ve always been an overthinker, and these questions only make your head spin more. But after hours and hours of teetering the files of your brain, you do know one thing.

You like him.

You like Hoseok a lot.

It might not be love—perhaps that had been your sex-brain talking—but you were definitely starting to fall for him. You don’t know when or where the change happened, or maybe you’ve always liked him, but it feels good to finally admit the truth to yourself.

Now, the real challenge was if you would tell him.

Would it be worth it?

***

“Y/n, I seriously thought you’d quit!”

Soyoung is the first person you run into on your first day back. You just thank god it’s her and not someone else. You flash her a quick smile and greeting. “Hey.”

“What happened to you?” she asks, walking beside you down the hall.

“Stomach bug,” the lie passes surprisingly easily through your lips. Good thing you had enough time to practice saying those words out loud.

Soyoung makes a face. “That must’ve been awful, but I’m glad you’re well enough to be here.”

“Yeah, totally.”

She leaves you at the golf cart and you get into the seat with a sigh. Over the month and whatever weeks you’ve been here, driving the cart now feels like second nature. You no longer bump into displays or people.

As you drive around the green, you make a stop at every hole and offer the players drinks. At the beginning of summer, you’d been a little apprehensive about this job. However, it turns out, working as the drink cart girl isn’t half bad. The tips you make are worth being out in the scorching summer sun.

Towards the end of your round, you feel your nerves twist. You’re relieved that you haven’t seen Hoseok; then again, a part of you is worried. Why isn’t he here? He’s always here. Every single time you’ve driven on the range, he’s been here.

Where is he today?

Soon, you realize that you didn’t need to worry at all.

At the last hole, you see him—well, them. Hoseok, Seokjin, Namjoon, and Jeongguk are together, like they always seem to be. Inseparable. For a second, you think about skipping them, but then you overhear their conversation.

“Damn, Hoseok,” Jeongguk whistles, leaning against his club, “this is the worst game you’ve ever played.”

“He played worse than Namjoon,” Seokjin snickers.

Namjoon narrows his eyes. “I’m not that bad.”

“You lack coordination,” Seokjin explains to his friend, as if that was supposed to make the burn better. “And Hoseok usually always wins.”

“Now that I’m thinking about it, he hasn’t played well all week,” Jeongguk twists his lips.

“Dude probably hasn’t had ass in a week,” Namjoon comments.

“I’m right fucking here, assholes.”

You finally allow your eyes to settle on the man of the hour. Like his friends have suggested, he does seem off today. Normally, the Jung Hoseok you know is easy going, laid back. He’s usually cocky and charismatic. Every time you’ve seen him play golf, he’s amazing. He always swings with blind sureness—like he knows the ball will hit green. But the man you’re looking at right now is beyond tense and agitated.

“You’re no fun today,” Jeongguk pouts.

“He hasn’t been fun all week,” Seokjin rolls his eyes. “Not since the house party.”

Your hands stiffen on wheel. Hoseok’s been in a mood for a whole week? You try to find the answer to your own question in his eyes, but he hasn’t looked in your direction yet. In fact, none of them seem to realize you’re close. They all seem to be thrown off their usual balance. That obvious fact makes you realize you should probably just skip them. But as you lift your foot to press the gas pedal, Seokjin notices you.

Damn. Why is he always the first one to see you?

His eyes widen at your appearance. “Just the girl I was thinking about.”

That statement draws everyone else from their stupor and towards you. You watch as Jeongguk and Namjoon’s eyes also widen, but the only pairs of eyes you really care about right now can’t even meet yours. Hoseok shoots you a glance before twisting away, jaw hardened. Ouch. You feel a pang in your chest.

For some reason, his dismissal hurts more than anything else right now.

“Glad you finally arrived,” Seokjin continues talking, walking closer to you. “I was wondering when you’d come.”

It was weird to have Seokjin speak so much to you. The only person you ever really spoke to was Hoseok, but it seems like he’s the last person who wants to talk to you right now. Maybe coming into work was a bad idea.

“I think you should talk to him,” he says, and it was your turn to have wide eyes.

“I don’t know…” What could you even say to him? You don’t know where to begin because you don’t know what kind of relationship you have with Hoseok. Did you want a relationship with him? Did he even feel the same way?

“He’s been a fucking wreck all week because of you, you know?”

Your chest hurts. “Really?”

Seokjin nods. “I mean, the guy’s always a pain in the ass…” he rolls his eyes, “but it’s worse now.”

Maybe you hadn’t been the only one suffering this past week. As horrible as it sounds, the thought makes you feel…hopeful.

“We’ll take your cart back and cover for you, if you want.”

You stare at Seokjin and find yourself nodding. “Okay.”

He calls Jeongguk and Namjoon over, asking you to get out of the cart. “Don’t worry—we won’t steal your money.”

It’s a joke. You know it’s a joke. Still, you can’t help the next that slip past your lips unconsciously. “Like you all need it.”

The three of them laugh at you as they pile into the cart. Before you can say anything else, they drive off—leaving you alone with the one person you’re most nervous to speak to. He’s still turned away from you, staring off into the distance. You will your heart to stop racing as you wipe your sweaty hands on the back of your shorts.

Calm down.

You take a deep breath before you decide it’s now or never. Deciding it is time, you take the tentative steps towards Hoseok and run a million different scenarios in your head. What’s the worst thing that can happen? He tells you to fuck off and never speak to him again?

Nausea settles into your throat at the idea.

By the time you run another worst-case-scenario into your head, you’re just a few steps behind him. Closer to him now, you feel like you’re going to burst at the seams. You stare at his disheveled hair—like he’s been running a hand through it all day—and stiff body. Despite his rigid posture, he’s still the most handsome person you’ve ever seen.

You don’t know long you stand there and stare at Hoseok, but you don’t jolt out of your daze until you hear his voice.

“Are you just going to stare at me all day?”

“Oh, you’re—I mean, I—” you fumble with your words, nervously twitching your hands. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted to talk.”

“It’s kind of hard to talk to someone who doesn’t even like me,” he says, finally turning to face you.

What? “Hoseok—”

“I know you hate me, so I won’t bother you again, if that’s what you wanted to talk about,” his voice is detached, and you realize you’ve never seen this side of him before. No wonder his friends were fed up with him. You would’ve been too. “Sorry if I annoyed you this summer.”

Without another word, he begins to walk away from you. What the hell is going on? You shake your head as you march up to him and grab onto his shirt. “Stop.”

“Y/n…”

“Hoseok, shut up!” You bring your eyes up to glare at him. “Just—just let me talk first, okay?”

His eyes are still cold, but you can see a bit of softness pool in them. “Fine.”

“You’re an idiot,” you breathe, dropping your fist and feeling something prick your vision. “I-I don’t hate you…I don’t hate you at all. And I don’t want you to stop bothering me. Yes, you’re annoying”—you feel him take a step away— “but I like it. I like you. I like you a lot, Hoseok. So much…I don’t even know—”

He stops your rambling with his lips. The kiss makes your heart soar and ache all at once because it feels so damn good—Hoseok feels so damn good. But it ends all too soon when he pulls away.

“I like you too.”

“Then why are you being so mean to me?” You feel an onslaught of tears flow down your cheeks.

Hoseok wipes a tear away with his thumb. “Because I thought you hated me.”

“Well, I don’t,” you sniffle.

“Then, why’d you leave?”

You know he’s talking about that morning. Do you tell him the truth? “Because I thought I was in love with you.”

“Love?” he chokes, and you feel a blush heat your face. “What made you think that?”

“Uh…it was just a sudden thought,” you awkwardly scratch the side of your face. “But I thought about it, and it’s not love…at least, not yet.”

You say that last part so quietly, you don’t think Hoseok even heard. However, the way his eyes gloss over for a moment lets you know that he did. You’re even more embarrassed now. You try to cover your face, but he grabs both of your hands before you can.

“Let’s take this one step at a time, yeah?” Look at him being the rational one here.

You nod, agreeing with him. “So, we like each other.”

“We do,” he says, suddenly pulling you closer to him. Your body hums being so close to him. Being close like this, you’re able to wrap your arms around him and does the same—hand moving to the back of your neck to tilt your head back. At this angle, you’re exposed to him.

“So, what are we?” you dared to ask the question.

Hoseok ghosts his lips over you. “I don’t like sharing.”

Butterflies erupt in your stomach. “I haven’t been with anyone else this summer.”

It’s the truth. You haven’t even looked twice at anyone else. You haven’t desired anyone else. You don’t think you ever can again. Jung Hoseok has ruined you.

“Me either.”

“You and Nina—”

“We’re just family friends, remember?” he cuts you off.

“She clearly likes you.”

“Well, she’s not you. I’ve told you that before.”

He did. And, for some reason, you believed him.

“So, what are we?” you ask again, looking up at Hoseok to gauge what he’s going to say. He stares down at you for a moment before that smirk you know all too well graces his lips. As irritating as it is, you’ve missed it.

“We’re dating,” his eyes sparkle, before dimming a little. “If you’ll have me.”

Warmth pools in your stomach as you nod. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

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haikyuu-scenarios-drabbles · 5 years ago

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HAIKYUU IS BACK AND SO HERE I AM

listen folks, season 4 has come. my crops are flourishing, my skin is clear, i’ve been revived. i cried and watched the opening 4 times, i’ve watched the episodes 3x now. Kuroo has always owned me and bITCH he still does.

as usual, i have no shame, so have this professor Kuroo x grad student reader that turned surprisingly angsty (my heart is so full with s4 that idk how it ended that way). i dont even care how cliche this is, im so weak for stuff like this. also i have no idea if this field is even a thing but i dont care

warnings: suggestive nsfw, angst

will there be a part 2? who knows 😉 (spoiler, there is...and three and four)

as usual, 💖 J

You weren’t exactly sure what you were expecting what your faculty member that you’d be working with for your graduate career to be like, but it had been more along the lines of: crotchety old man, white hair, still sporting tweed suit jackets from the seventies. It definitely never crossed your mind that a young man, probably around your age, you’d guess a bit older since he was already a faculty member, would greet you on your first day.

You also weren’t expecting him to be fucking drop dead gorgeous—and you mean ovary melting, cliché totally swooning material. Never in your life have you felt so nervous around a person before. It really wasn’t fair in the slightest. And on top of it all, he was amiable. The two of you got along swimmingly, half in part to how close you are in age and the other half since you’re both mad about biotechnology.

You tried. You really did. Tried not to develop a crush on him. But the more you got to know him, the more days spent together, you felt yourself falling deeper and deeper because it wasn’t just about looks anymore. You liked him. A lot too. You can’t even explain why. You learned rather quickly he’s no lady killer like he’s looks suggested—oh no. He’s the biggest dork you’ve ever met. And now you’re head over heels with no hope of going back. It was a rather futile attempt to resist it.

Sitting at your desk, you rub your hands over your face trying to get those thoughts out of your head. Or at least shove them to the far depths of your brain so you can continue to act like everything is fine and not like your heart is going to overwork itself anytime he’s anywhere near you. And god—was that getting increasingly difficult. With your first year ending and presenting your research at the National Biotech Conference coming up, the two of you have been spending more and more late nights in the lab together. Alone.

You might as well dig your grave now.

Just a few nights ago the night ended early because he set off the fire alarm making a hot pocket. The two of you too enamored with the project to notice the microwave on the verge of combusting. Why the hell he put it in there for five minutes was beyond you, but he tried to explain that he was planning on taking it out before the timer ran out. The memory of it makes the corner of your mouth quirk upward.

“You bored out of your mind already?” A voice teases from behind you, making you to jolt in your seat.

Speak of the devil.

You turn in your chair to find none other than the root of your problems: Dr. Kuroo. Jesus fuck you can barely look straight at him without feeling some sort of nerves ball up in your stomach.

Giving him a weak smile, you say, “Those all-nighters are really getting the best of me.”

His eyes soften and christ—you need medical help to deal with the way your heart is stuttering in your chest. By the end of this conversation you’re going to need a defibrillator with the way he smiles at you sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. “Riiiight. About those….” He avoids your gaze and you already know what’s coming.

“Another one tonight?”

He sighs. “Yeah. Sorry about that. We’re just really down to the wire now. I want to make sure everything is set.”

You wave him off, there’s nothing to apologize for. You knew what you were getting into here. And you know it’s only his second conference as a distinguished member of the community, so he has a standard to uphold.

A startled gasp escapes you when his voice appears right next to your goddamn ear, his warm breath against your skin practically sending you into a frenzy. “You working on the statistics?” The nod you give him is almost imperceptible, afraid any movements from you are going to give away how his proximity is making you feel. His eyes scan your screen before patting you on the shoulder. “Looks good so far, send it to me when you’re done.”

You let out a breath of relief you didn’t know you were holding when he moves away.

How the fuck are you going to survive the next year?

Hell—how are you going to survive a week-long convention with him?

As he heads back to his own desk, Kuroo glances warily around the office to make note of any suspicious onlookers. It’s been harder and harder to keep that professional line with you, and every public conversation you shared he was highly aware to not slip into his easy mannerisms he found himself indulging in during all those late nights. Because fuck him—he liked you. Why did he of all the options get assigned the one graduate student who is his age and is fucking gorgeous on top of your academic prowess?

He never stood a chance.

He is barreling straight towards an academic violation at full speed and his brakes are broken. That’s how bad it is.

But goddamn he can keep it in his pants for the sake of his job and your career.

That sentiment went to shit that night.

You’re late, which almost never happens. He can count on one hand the times you’ve been late. And you always texted him with your ETA and an explanation but tonight…silence. He knows you haven’t left, he saw you a little over an hour ago speaking to Dr. Yu, and a quick trip to your desk confirms it; all your stuff is still here.

He’s lucky to catch Dr. Yu on his way out, asking if he knows of your whereabouts. “You haven’t seen her?” His brows lift. “Must’ve gotten caught up in the library. Said she was going to stop by there before your meeting.”

Kuroo does an excellent job of hiding his confusion. Meeting? Is that what you’ve been disguising your all-nighters with him as to your colleagues?

That means you feel there’s a reason to keep it a secret.

Or is he reading too far into it?

Nonetheless, he strides towards the library, irked to find most of the lights off and it utterly silent inside. He checks the table area first, then peruses the shelf, peeking down each to see if you’re actually in here. It’s likely you already left and are now waiting for him in the lab in the time since he’s begun looking for you.

He finds you in one of the farthest corners of the library and it isn’t until he approaches you does he realize the situation he’s just put the two of you in.

Alone.

In the dark library.

You’re sat deep into an armchair, legs curled up underneath you, head resting on your hand while you flip through the pages of a book sitting in your lap. You look so picturesque he can’t help but stare for a few seconds before clearing his throat to alert you to his presence.

He scares the absolute shit out of you.

Leaping out of the chair, the book clattering to the floor, you shout, “Holy fu—Dr. Kuroo! You can’t just do that!” Then you blink, like your brain is catching up to you, then you frantically check your watch and outwardly groan. “I knew I should have set an alarm. Sorry, just lost track of time back here.” Smirking softly, he takes a step forward, bending to pick up the book sprawled on the floor. He hands it to you, your fingertips brushing his, a jolt of lightning spearing through you at the contact.

Every sense of yours is filled with his presence, your head clouded with thoughts of what if you just…closed that gap. What would happen if you took just one step forward? Would he let you run your hands over his chest, snaking around his neck to tangle into his dark hair? What would it feel like to press your body against his?

Holy hell—you need to get out of here.

It’s then that you realize you’ve been staring at him.

And that he’s holding your gaze, his golden eyes locked onto yours. The air is so charged you feel like your entire body is buzzing, urging you to indulge in the thoughts swirling in your head. You open your mouth to break the silence, grasping at any sense of logic you have left to end this dangerously tempting situation.

Kuroo’s last strand of self-control splintered the moment he caught you staring at him so intently. The same thoughts weaving through his head as yours, the fantasy he’s had for months now of holding you against him, his lips pressed to yours, is so tantalizingly close he can barely stand it.

So, he comes to decision. Before this opportunity eludes him, he has to act now. He watches as your mouth opens, your better judgement clearly still intact, and before you can get a word out, he leans down to kiss you. His hands finding their way to your waist, tugging you to him, he’s pleasantly delighted to find you sink into him. Your own hands reaching up to curl into his shirt, soft mouth moving against his own, he almost groans at how you’re reacting to him.

He’s intoxicating, the way his fingers are digging into the skin of your waist, how his tongue slips into your mouth, you can barely keep your feet underneath you. What’s even more exhilarating to you is that he initiated this.

He wanted you too.

The thought makes you a bit dizzy.

When he feels your hands travel from his collar to slip your fingers through his hair, this time he can’t help it, a deep pleased sound escaping him, rumbling through your entire body and sending heat straight to your core. Jesus Christ this man his going to be the absolute death of you.

“Fuck,” he mutters, his hands roam from your waist to cup your ass, using the leverage to press you even closer to him, letting you feel just what exactly you’re doing to him. All he can think is that he wants more, he wants you underneath him, chest heaving, moaning his name and no one else’s. With that on his mind, he splays his fingers out underneath your thighs, intending on lifting your legs around him.

The action turns your brain back on, the gears working hard through the haze clouding your mind, realizing where exactly this is going. Your sense of reason finally coming through, screaming: Stop! What the fuck are you doing?! Instinctively, you shove him away from you.

He blinks in surprise as he stumbles back into the bookshelf, thrown off by your sudden rejection.

Your heart crumbles seeing his hurt expression. It’s no use denying it anymore. You want him. So bad that you were this close to throwing all caution to the wind just now. But you can’t, not under the circumstances. He is your colleague. Your superior. What the hell were you thinking?!

Steeling your resolve, you say quietly, “Kuroo…I—That…that shouldn’t have happened.”

You can’t even look at him, too afraid of what will happen if you do.

He knows you’re lying.

He stares at you for a moment, considering all his options. Truly, he’d like to just gather you up in his arms, assuring you everything will be fine, and kissing your worries away until you melt beneath him again. But he knows that’s crossing the line. Instead, he settles on making his feelings clear. He wants you to know where he stands. He doesn’t want you to think what just happened meant nothing to him. But he’s willing to give you space to put your thoughts together.

“I need you to look at me,” he says.

You bite your lip. “I can’t.” Now your throat feels tight with the effort of keeping tears at bay. Why is it like this? Why did you have to meet him in this way? He says your name like a command, so you ball your fists in determination and raise your watery eyes to meet his.

With such surety and resolve it just about makes you burst into tears, he tells you clearly, “I’m so head over heels for you it’s not even funny.”

He’s right, this isn’t funny. It’s anything but. And he’s making it worse by being so goddamn perfect you want to scream. The universe must really be a bitch for putting you through this, making you fall in love with someone who is so off limits. You can feel your heart wilting within your chest as you plead, “I need to leave.”

He lets you go, despite every instinct telling him not to. He spends the night in the lab alone, barely getting anything done through his ever-present thoughts of you. He tries to remain hopeful, that somehow this will all work out. That on Monday you’ll come to work, and everything will be alright.

Monday morning, he finds out you’ve put in a request to join a separate project.

He doesn’t know what to do with the growing hole forming in his chest.

And neither do you.

part two part three part four

#kuroo x reader #Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyu #Kuroo Tetsurou #kuroo tetsurou scenario #kuroo tetsurou imagine #reader insert

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blue-likethebird · 4 years ago

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Shimizu Kiyoko: A Meta

Recently, Haikyuu finished its last match and ended an 8-year run in Shonen Jump. I love Haikyuu. It has so many unique characters with complex motivations, a plot that had me invested for 4 years straight, good pacing and a fanbase full of talented creators. It had a big impact on my style as an author and even motivated me to try out for my school’s volleyball team back in middle school (but I ended up getting hit in the head with a serve and cut after the first tryouts ended rip.) But like every story, Haikyuu had a few flaws too.

Shimizu Kiyoko is without a doubt one of my favourite characters after Michimiya and Suga. But when I reread the series following the manga’s end, I had the uncomfortable realization that as much as I love Kiyoko, the way her character was handled fell into a few -kinda misogynistic- pitfalls. Well, this is me taking a closer look at that. Below the cut is the full meta, which contains spoilers for the final arc of Haikyuu!! You’re free to add your thoughts, argue that I’m wrong, or call me a bitch and block me at your own discretion!

In fairness, Haikyuu is a series about a boys’ volleyball team, and that premise doesn’t leave much room for girls outside of the supporting cast. At the very least, Furudate did a good job making the female characters in his series likeable individuals with distinct personalities who have lives of their own outside of the guys. Even characters like Michimiya, Kanoka and Mika -who are comparatively minor characters serving romantic roles in the story- have identities not revolving around their relationships with boys. I’m glad that the girls were allowed to express ugly emotions, have supportive relationships with one another, and weren’t solely defined by what guys they were in love with. On that level, Haikyuu is leaps and bounds better than a lot of other shonen mangas ie Boruto’s Dad.

Unfortunately, Kiyoko’s arc fell slightly short of the mark. In the grand scheme of things, she really didn’t have much to do and her identity as a character is comparatively murkier than others once you strip away her relationships with the men in Haikyuu. Given her potential, popularity, and the higher standards Haikyuu set for its ladies, it’s a bit disappointing.

“But blue!” Someone in the back row pipes up. “You said yourself that Kiyoko isn’t a main character! Authors don’t develop the supporting cast nearly as much as the protagonists!”

Well yeah. If authors expanded on every character to the extent they expand on the lead, then it would be impossible to get to the actual plot. But hey, Oikawa appears less frequently than Kiyoko does and his motivations and interests are given time to develop. Heck, Yachi only joined the cast in chapter 73 and the series explores her interest in art and relationship with her mother really well during her introduction. We don’t know Kiyoko’s family situation, or why she quit track, or what drives her to put so much of her own time into the volleyball club. And the scenes where she has an impact on the story, or the game going on, or Hinata’s quest to become a great volleyball player, or another character she interacts with are few and far between when stacked up against other members of Karasuno’s volleyball club. The only exception would be Kinoshita and Narita, who have the bad luck of being Haikyuu’s version of “those two guys” so that’s not exactly the best demonstration of what Kiyoko has to offer.

Then there’s my beef with the pedestal she’s dropped on: Both in canon and out, Kiyoko is presented as a perfect goddess who can do no wrong. This setup has so much room to expand on and deconstruct, which dozens of stories have done incredibly well. Even Haikyuu itself has done a similar thing through Kageyama’s relationship with the other Kitadaii alumni and the “king of the court” storyline. Yet Kiyoko never gets a chance to explain her feelings on being held to such a high standard, nor is it ever brought up as something that could be uncomfortable for her. It’s briefly implied that she’s somewhat out of her element when she’s the centre of attention in the “do your best” scene, but that’s not really touched on further. Given that haikyuu has acknowleged being held to unreachable standards is damaging, it would have made sense to acknowledge Kiyoko’s perspective too. Is she insecure about being considered flawless? Is it something that brings her confidence or boosts her ego? Idk, because it’s never explained clearly. It’s like a porcelain doll: Kiyoko is perfect, but by keeping her up on a high shelf to maintain that perfection, we miss the chance to get a closer look that could help further our appreciation of her.

It’s not that being one of the less dynamic characters is inherently a misogynistic pratfall, since there are plenty of male characters out there who could give a cardboard box a run for its money in terms of complexity. However, given that Kiyoko’s character is already floundering among all the unaddressed idealizations around her, to have so little opportunity to address that and how damaging it can be, well it’s not great to say the least. She’s also one of the only characters in the whole series to suffer from this particular burden. It’s kinda difficult to handwave that as just a weird coinky dink that Kiyoko’s not given more development while the arrival of Lev at Nekoma warranted a dissection of how this affects their dynamic.

This all builds up to a defining moment. The one that made me realize how Shimizu Kiyoko had never quite escaped the trap so many other shonen manga ladies since Sakura and Orehime had fallen victim to.

The reveal that she and Tanaka got married between the end of nationals and the time skip. That was when I realized that for all I loved her and the series she was a part of, the writing surrounding her was misogynistic.

I have a... variety of emotions about this particular relationship’s road to becoming canon, and they’re not especially positive emotions either. I could prattle on for ages about the execution or buildup, and a whole other post could be written about why I always interpreted her as a lesbian, but that’s best saved for another time. How was Kiyoko falling in love with Tanaka a weak point?

To put it bluntly, it’s because she didn’t.

We’re shown over and over again that Tanaka has feelings for Kiyoko. That was established in basically the first scene they appeared together in. What irks me is that she never gets the same: that the ‘hints’ that Kiyoko returns those feelings barely qualify as hints at all. Yet, with one scene where Tanaka carries her bag, we’re supposed to believe that the few scraps of interest she’s shown throughout the 300+ chapters of the manga they’ve both appeared in is a strong enough end point to lead to them getting hitched. Come to think of it, is there ever even a scene outside of the bag carrying where they spoke one-on-one about anything meaningful? Did Tanaka ever get to see her as more than her pedestal that we saw? The scene they ended off on is where most romance arcs start for heaven’s sake, and it ultimately disservices both characters.

Once again, poor Kiyoko got screwed over by the series denying her a chance to express her feelings, and the marriage bomb came off as less of a satisfying conclusion to either of their arcs and more like a one-sided “wear the girl down” pullout where the girl in question is treated more like a prize than part of a healthy relationship. That kind of “romance” is more at home in a cliche action bland-com than Haikyuu, where the relationships are written with more complexity. This would have so easily been avoided with even one throwaway line. But since Kiyoko never got to express her own feelings, a crucial building block to a satisfying romantic arc was left out and the whole relationship toppled over like a jenga tower.

To wrap this up, lemme say that Haikyuu is one of my favourite series and one of the strongest shonen or sports manga I’ve read. I love both Kiyoko and Tanaka both a fuck ton, and I’m incredibly grateful that Furudate gave us such a powerful series these past eight years. None of this is me trying to bash the author, story, or any of the characters and I’m definitely not trying to argue that they’re in any way problematic. This is merely one interpretation of the series and an examination of a relatively minor part of the genuinely enjoyable whole. My goal in writing this longass meta wasn’t to condemn. But, in a manga whose biggest strength is having such well-rounded characters, it’s still somewhat of a shame that so much of Kiyoko’s potential stayed just that: potential. Haikyuu is a series that’s well-known for giving complex personal stories to all its cast from major player to one-chapter rivals. Why is it that Shimizu Kiyoko -who’s been a regular presence in the story since the very first chapter- couldn’t get the same?

#bluebird.txt #bluebird thinks #meta #shimizu kiyoko #haikyuu!!#long ass post #long post #hq critical #salty wench #volleyboys

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lovemxnot · 5 years ago

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How to kill a dragon | Lee Minho

Genre: how to train your dragon!au, Vikings!au, enemies to lovers.

Pairings: Reader X Minho ft. 3racha & Hyunjin (if you squint).

Word count: 18.7k

Warnings: language, blood and gore, idk they're Vikings what would you expect.

Synopsis: It was your soul's mission to avoid Lee Minho at any cost, but life seemed to have other plans. A plan full of dragons, confusion, lots of tears, Minho, and newly found troubling feelings.

A/N: This will be a two-shot ( honestly just like two more parts and an epilogue left), ‘cause I'm dying over here and can't think of an ending, this has been sitting in my drafts for 4 months now, and I think its time to set it free.

umm, give me feedback? I’d love to hear what you have to say. Anything to motivate me to finish this story. or not, hope you enjoy it anyway !

Steam was still rising from your soup bowl, meaning you haven’t been sitting on the polished wooden bench here for that long. But time could not go any slower than a wagon pulled in mud whenever you were in the presence of the almighty Lee’s family.

All they did throughout the whole weekly-dinners you and your father had with them in the great hall was boast and brag about how powerful they are, how many dragons they’ve slain, how much dragon skin they have hung up on their walls as tapestry, and how many teeth they wore around their necks, one from each species they’ve killed, as a reminder to the townspeople of who they were.

They perceived themselves as royalty. No one actually liked them, but everyone bared with their bragging as they played a crucial role in keeping this land safe and in one piece.

Your spoon kept picking at the peas in your soup, glaring at them, hoping if you keep your head down and stare at your soup long enough, you might turn into one eventually and not have to sit through this agonizingly long Rendezvous.

You wished you could skip these dinners, but being the last and only descendant of the villages’ chief put you in a tight spot. The Lee’s were a compelling family, they kept the village safe for innumerable years, forming a long line of dragon slayers. So to refrain from rendering this town to ashes, your father made sure to always be on good terms with them; thus you have to sit next to your father on a weekly basis in the large hall placed up north the island, where the elite lived, and pretend you don't dream about having their heads on sticks.

Appetite nowhere in sight, you abandoned your soup in favor of playing with the mashed potato next to the rib meat dosed in a brown sauce, smashing it even more. The food looked delicious, props to the chef, but you lost your appetite whenever you were within a mile of their existence. Being their neighbor wasn’t that fun either. Not when you inevitably meet at least one of the Lee’s whenever you step a foot out of your house.

You were beginning to believe this dinner might actually end on a peaceful note this time, without food thrown at each other across the table. Until the pretty faced boy seated in front of you opened his mouth.

“Why so quiet, Y/N? Dragon got your tongue?” Lee Minho, the youngest and last of the Lee’s, teased.

Great, now any sign of you having a civil, quiet meal completely perished.

You glared at him, trying to keep composed and not fall into one of his tricks, you replied, “Having to stare at your face all evening makes me want to hurl.” Alright, so much for keeping your composure.

“Aw, I make you that nervous?” He grinned, mischievousness sparkling in his pretty brown eyes— you meant ugly, ugly mud brown eyes.

“Aw, you want me to shove my foot up your ass?” You taunted.

“Y/N.” your father warned, but you ignored him.

“If that's what you're into,” that made everyone on the table queasy. And made your cheeks burn.

“you're revolting.”

“Come on, princess, I know you like me.”

“ I’d much rather have myself hunted down by a night fury than fraternize with you .” It was infuriating how good looking he and his brothers were.

His oldest brother, the firstborn- Chan, was the only one with a cool-headed mind, he was notoriously known in the village for his strength but he never, not once bragged or acted out as the rest of his younger siblings.

You were even more agitated with the way your heartstrings tugged whenever you set eyes on Minho. But you never liked him. There was no reason behind that, no big fight over who got the last biscuit from the great hall buffets, or quarrels over who-said-what-about-who, and especially no arguments over who was the better Viking because you-along with the whole island- knew that both of you have never killed a dragon.

While 12-year-olds were out there with a dash in their slate, both you and Minho were known for being the most softhearted Vikings this town has seen in decades. It was no victorious title, especially not to Minho, the legacy of the Lee’s must continue on, and you understood how suffocating it must feel to have to bear the weight of the crown he was forced to wear since the day he took his first breath. And it’ll stay on his head till the day he takes his last.

You hated him because he was a stuck up prick that couldn’t stop himself from annoying the living daylights out of you. And as far as you know, he couldn’t stand you either, if the glares he always sent your way weren’t an indication of his hate than you don’t know what it is. But you had no idea why he hated you. You never did anything to him. His hostility originated from the pressure of being the black sheep of the house, but why he chose to take it out on you was a mystery.

“Be careful what you wish for.” Minho had the audacity to smirk, right where you had a steaming hot bowl of soup in your hands reach. Did he not learn from the last time he tried to test you? Was the slimy residue of the goat intestines that left his hair sticky and smelly for a week not enough of a warning of how hands-on you could get? He might need a reminder.

He was right though, Night furies were no joke. They are the most feared type of dragons. It only appears at night, never shows itself. It’s fast, stealthy, and never misses an aim. If it has its eyes on you, then you better pray to Odin to give you enough stamina to outrun it to a shelter, because other than that your chances of encountering a night fury and coming out alive are nigh to none.

It’s sporadic to see a night fury, much less kill one. No one knows how it looks like, and no one has ever caught or killed one. The only sign that one has come to hunt you is their screech and their unmistakable blue plasma fireballs that could burn anything to ashes upon contact.

You could say night furies were the most sought after dragon in the Lee’s, they want them as a trophy. If they could get that under their belts, then this town would not hear the end of it with how high their heads would be in the asses, proudly wearing it as a tophat.

While you were busy thinking of your comeback, You heard his parents and your father joking as always, saying how you two bickered like a married couple, and how perfect the both of you already played into your foreseeable future marriage.

This was another point that added fuel to your hatred. Your families always talked about how the both of you would eventually come around your little fights and marry each other.

With that said, you still would rather be eaten alive by a dragon than have to face the Lee’s for any second longer.

You opened your mouth to say exactly that, but the perusing pair of eyes that were set on you made you shut up. You turned your gaze from Minho's and caught his older brothers instead.

You’ve always admired Chan, he was calm and collected, unlike his baby brother. Fighting in front of him made you feel immature. You two don’t talk often, but you would have absolutely no problem if he were the one you would be betrothed to. He was a very sensible man.

You dropped your gaze back to your plate, letting go of the issue. Shame draped over your shoulders like a coat, you don't mean to pick fights with Minho, but his constant remarks always hit the nail on the head. He knew how to get on your nerves, and it irked you to no end that you give him the power to do so.

“So tomorrow is the big day, yeah?” Minho’s father cut into the pregnant air with his question, gathering everyone’s attention back to him, ignoring you twos previous bickering.

“Yes, the sea has cleared up enough for us to set sail.”

Seeing as it was getting hotter these days, sun heating up your armors, turning them into a portable fireplace, melting your skin. Seas turning back to their natural liquid state, your father and his soldiers were bound to go on to one of their semi-annual sea trips.

It completely slipped your mind. It was always around this time, where the adults of this town sailed out to explore the ambiguous sea, in hopes of finding where all these dragons were nesting, while the younglings stayed back for dragon training.

Dragon training.

You’ve managed to avoid joining training thus far, somehow explaining to your father how important it was for you to learn from the town's seamstress how to sew two pieces of leather skin together. But you had a feeling, not this time.

“ Is Commander Kim still the head trainer for this year's dragon training ?” Your father nodded, then said, “ speaking of dragon training, Y/N will be joining this year.”

That was news to you. You knew it was bound to happen, but knowing that he signed you up behind your back without consulting you first hurt.

“What?!” Your spoon clacked loudly against the plate, gathering everyone's attention.

“You heard me,” He said with finality. “ Minho will be there with you too. One of you might actually kill a dragon this time.” He added humorously as if that would make either of you feel any better. You would rather jump into an active volcano than have to stand next to one of them.

You saw Minho scowl at the mention of his name while everyone else at the table cackled.

“ I bet Y/N will kill one first.” Changbin, the second oldest son and the older twin of the lee pair, made the frown on Minho's face deepen. You could see he was trying to not burst, his hands curled to a fist, knuckles turning white.

Sympathy washed your disdain away, You always felt sorry for Minho whenever his brothers made fun of him. You were an only child and were handled as a relic, meant to be seen and not touched, behind compacted glass. You've never lived a life of sibling rivalry, it wasn't that you envied people with siblings but the thought of having someone to throw the blame on when you tear one of your father's maps seemed pleasant. You always thought blood is thicker than water but witnessing firsthand the unfortunate bulling of lee Minho made you think otherwise.

“ what’s she going to kill it with? Her crossbow?” The younger twin, Jisung, Snorted. You ignored him, both pairs of the twins were nut heads. Albeit good looking nut heads.

“But Father,” you tried to bring the conversation back onto you, letting Minho breath for a second, not that you cared about him, but because you would hate it if you were in his place “the seamstress finally managed to get velvet, she’s going to show me—“

“No more excuses!! this time you're going!” He slammed his fist into the table. He looked mad, you didn’t know the town folks shit-talking about his daughter being too weak to inherit this town bothered him that much. He must have reached his limit for him to slip and yell at his kin in front of other people. “ how can I pass this village down to you if you can’t even face a training dragon?!”

Ouch. That stung. It wasn’t like you wanted to become the next chief, you wanted to explore the world beyond your tiny island, study the plants and animals, experience life in general. But you were tied down by duties and responsibilities.

You were startled into tears, you’ve never felt this humiliated before. Getting yelled at in front of your archnemesis made tears threaten to fall from your eyes. Now you wished you had stared at your soup harder, those peas looked like they were having fun.

Picking up your crossbow from beside your leg, you stood up abruptly. Your soup could not rival the heat that was pooling in your cheeks, eyes glassy, lips pressed to a tight line. “I'll take my leave.” you rushed outside, ignoring your father's calls. Missing the solicitous stare that followed your figure out, his fists unclenching, chest filling up with both gratitude and pity.

II.

Pine green leaves on frail branches tickled your face every once in a while on your trek down the dirt road of the forest, strong winds -signs of an oncoming storm- kept bristling with your hair, braiding it into knots that had you dreading the thought of detangling it. Boots imprinting the unscathed pathway, Crossbow in hand, you shot at any object that moved. Not because you were scared. No, you loved the forest dearly, it was your second home. Whenever you felt stressed, you'd take walks here, or when you had free time you would come and study the plants and animals that habitat here. Which was more often than you'd think.

You wanted to blow off some steam and going to your house wasn’t an option as your father most probably will be there. Unkind words might be exchanged, and you didn't want your father to leave the next day and be gone for who knows how long with fighting as his last memory with his daughter. That's if he comes back this time.

On their last voyage, they came back two weeks later than they said they would. It sent the village into a state of panic with wives thinking they lost their men, kids orphaned, and most importantly - you thought you lost your last living parent, left alone to fend for yourself, forced to fill your father's place at the throne. Alas, it triggered your father into taking action, forcibly joining dragon training was the aftermath of the trepidation. If something were to happen to him you had to be ready to take control. But when worse comes to worst, you weren’t sure you'd be able to breathe the air the same way you did before without grief numbing you, or look at the sun and think of anything except for the two parents you lost, their souls ever-burning as bright as the sun. Colors would all look dull to you, any positive emotions nonexistent in your period of depression. But it was your destiny, to lead these people into many more years to come.

It was well after midnight, dinner lasted as long as usual, but the night seemed young now that you weren’t tied to the bench. Not looking where you were going, You kicked the pebbles under your feet and shot another bolt to the inert tree to your right. Stars provided minimal light, filling the forest with an eerie darkness, you tuck your hair behind your ears every time mother nature played and whirled it into your face. The dark shadows of the night didn’t affect you, it wasn’t your enemy, and right now it gave you more comfort than anyone could, letting you be with your thoughts. You had the forest memorized like the minuscule cracks that sat on the ceiling of your room, concatenating as harsh, unforgiving winters pass by. You could walk through it blindfolded and still tell which tree was which. Which tree you and the apothecary’s son, Hyunjin, had carved both your initials on after a diffident kiss on one spring day, stashed under for shade from the beating rays.

It was nothing but a burst of curiosity, a quick touch of the lips and then a whole lot of laughter. You frequently drop by at his house now and help out with whatever concoction he is working on while you talked. You help scavenge some of the herbs they need for the medicine from the forest. In return, he listens to your whining about a particular reincarnation of the devil that won't stop pestering you until you rest 6 feet underground. It was a small price you had to pay for a great therapy session.

The forest was your safe ground. No one comes to it unless they needed something. Even so, they wouldn’t venture far into the woods like you do. It was the quietest part of the whole island. Some would think that living in the forest would make for a good hiding spot from measly dragons. That would be true if it weren't for the so-named Razorwing dragons. As its name convey, they have razor-sharp wings that could slice through any concrete object with ease and snack on you for breakfast, picking their teeth with your bones. Vikings are infamously known for their unwieldy stubbornness, and your people were no different, refusing to be chased off their island by some winged beasts, they'd die with their ego held high, soaring like a flag in the sky, or forever stay rolling in their graves.

You knew you were going to have to face training one way or another, but getting enrolled in it without your knowledge and being informed a day before the training begins wasn’t the way you would’ve liked it.

You were mad at yourself more than anyone else. Why couldn’t you just kill one? Why did you have to be so soft-hearted and feel bad whenever you see one laying on the ground, beheaded brutally, or crushed to bits by hammocks, and skinned raw. They were vicious animals, after all, stealing your livestock, burning the crops, killing people- be it children or adults. they didn't have mercy on you, so why should you?

A cold droplet of rain cut into your train of thought. You saw before you heard the rain start to pour down in-between the cracks of the thickly woven tree leaves.

It was dangerous being outside after sundown, dragons liked hunting in the darkness of the night. But it wasn’t the first time you sneaked out here without your fathers' knowledge. you’d often slip past him and his watchers to go venture out and saturate your curiosity.

You should head back, but you didn’t want to face your father, not after you stormed out on him. you will surely get a lecture and you were in no mood for that.

You took shelter under the last tree you shot, pulled the bolt out of its body and layed against it, rough tree bark rubbed against your palms, your eyes shut for a minute, listening to the heavy drops of rain slam down at an unhuman velocity, winds carrying them north towards the town.

As frightening as some people found storms to be, you felt the opposite. the rucks caused from the howling wind and thunder took your mind off of things. Dozing off on the sound, your shoulders dropped, chest lighter than earlier, feeling yourself get lifted as the rain washed over you. With one last deep breathe, you opened your eyes only for it lock with someone else’s.

Or should you say something else’s, for the viridescent hues of the snake slitted eyes peeking through the leaves on the tree facing you were no man's eyes. They were a dragons.

This jolted you awake faster than an ice bucket thrown in your face. Drowsiness nowhere to be seen, you tightly grip onto your only weapon but didn't lift a finger, you didn’t dare to breathe either, praying if you stay still enough it might forget you were there. The eyes didn’t move, didn’t blink, It was locked onto you. A strike of thunder lighted up the sky enough for you to see the leathery black skin of the beast in front of you.

You’ve spent hours upon hours reading every book about dragons your tiny excuse of a library had- every type, species, how they look, their tactics, pressure points- but this one looked nothing like the rest from the glimpse you caught. It didn’t fit any category. You weren’t sure what type of dragon it was, you’ve never seen this one, which struck you as odd. What was even weirder was how quiet it was. Dragons are impulsive and reckless. They don’t stop and stare.

Could it be… dare you say..a Night Fury?

The name itself sent another wave of panic throughout your body, unconsciously tightening your fingers around the crossbow. But if it was then why wasn’t it attacking you?

A sudden faint horn sound blared in the air, succeeding in catching the dragon's attention away from you, It turned its head towards it, interested as to what it was. But it was no surprise to you, you’ve heard this often. they were the warning sirens, meaning the village is under attack. This was your chance to run away, while it was distracted.

You didn’t waste a second, you shot a bolt in its direction before running as fast as your tired legs could run over the muddy ground. It was a miracle you didn’t trip with how uncoordinated you were, one hand pushing the branches out of your way while the other held onto you crossbow, head turning left and right trying to catch sight of the nightcrawler.

Oh why just why were you so unlucky, You were starting to regret not going home. Minho's voice rang in your ear “be careful what you wish for.” that damn lee, so what now he was a fortune-teller too?

You kept running and running but no human legs could ever beat the span of a dragon's wings, the dragon was on your tail. Your doubts of this being a night fury completely vanished when you heard the unmistakable sound of its screech as it got ready to shoot a fireball at you.

You luckily dodged it by hiding behind a tree and sent another bolt blindly behind you. You were nearing the middle of the forest, where trees were scarce, thinning out slowly as you reached near the town, which put you in clear sight for the beast stalking you.

You needed a plan, quick.

Yelling for help would surely go unnoticed as the village is already under attack right now, not to mention the roaring thunder and wind cackling every two seconds. You could try hiding, but there is no place here that the dragon won’t be able to reach. Damn Odin and thor your only option is to continue running and shooting your bolts in hopes that one might hurt it enough to leave you alone.

Thunder rumbled, snapping you back to reality. It was too quiet, what was the fury doing? Was it waiting for you to come out of hiding?

Your question was answered when you felt the tree you were leaning blast on fire, burning your hand and your backside with it. Your yelp of pain was drowned out by the screech it let out. This was no time to cry over burned skin, you griped you crossbow again, ignoring the searing pain you felt and peeked out enough for you to see the dragon dive-bombing towards you.

You took a running start before you shot your bolt high up in the sky were you barely saw a shadow moving in the dark midnight sky, you turned around before you could see if it hit it, but the pained roar it let out let you know.

Twirling back around in surprise, eyes wide, you saw it’s silhouette slowly descend, starlights guiding your eyes as the dragon failed to gain control of its wings. Trees hid its landing but the tremble of the ground made it known that it didn’t fall that far away.

You ran recklessly through the forest, not caring anymore if branches scratched your face,afraid that more of its kind will come. Your burns throbbed painfully but adrenaline and fear kept you going.

Emerging from the last line of trees, you saw what you already expected to see. Vikings in armors running around with swords and spiked clubs, chasing dragons, fires breaking out everywhere despite the heavy rain. But that could not beat the horror you just went through facing one of the deadliest dragons out there, and miraculously coming out of the encounter alive.

Blindly you push yourself between people in hopes of seeing a familiar face but the rough blow to your shoulders knocked you on your bum, sending a fresh wave of pain to your injuries.

You looked up to see an aggravated Minho peering at you from above.oh it couldn’t get any worse.

“Get out of my way dimwit,” he snarled but the look on your face snapped him out of his zone, he took notice of how charred your hand and clothes looked, fear swirling in your eyes. This wasn’t the first dragon attack that you have witnessed, so what had you so shaken?

“What's wrong?” You were too frightened to acknowledge that he was being nice to you for once. He seemed worried.

“N-n-night Fury– Chasing me— my crossbow — it fell ” you stuttered badly, trying to explain between breaths, but it was illegible. Your side burned more with each breath you took in. The grainy ground wasn't so kind on your palm, either.

“What? What are you saying?” his eyebrows furrowed, face scrunching in confusion. He couldn't hear over the sound of the downpour and the dragons roaring. He didn't seem irritated, he reached his hands to yours, trying to help you get back on your feet, but he touched your burns and you nearly blacked out from the pain.

Your wail surprised him, he kneeled down to you now, concern obviously showing on his face, he carefully grabbed your hand and turned it to see the scaly red skin. Raindrops mercilessly piercing it.

“Odin's beard Y/N, what did you do to your hand? Shove it down a dragon's throat?” He scolded, you slipped your hand back, not appreciating his condescending tone.

Determined to get up on your own, you tried to gather your balance back but failed to do so and stumbled forward, in return Minho’s hands reached for your Waist. Your eyes stung as much as your burns.

The pain was unbearable, you saw black dots dancing in your vision, how much more was life planing on humiliating you? First, you get yelled at in front of him and now your crying. You were contemplating on going back to the night fury and begging it to eat you up.

Lightheaded, you dropped your head on Minho's shoulder. shock was slowly leaving your system, exhaustion replacing it.

It was strange, you've never been this close to him. Hell, you could barely stand living next to him, but right now, right here, where you could hear his heartbeat thrum in your ear despite the mayhem around you, feel his breath stagger on your neck, smell the assortment of rain, sweat and his natural musk dripping off him, with his arms secured around you, you felt safe.

Minho would never tell a soul but he liked this, he liked how soft you were being with him, how reliant you were on him right now, how you fit in his arms. But he didn't like the scrunch that marred itself on your face. He would never confess it but he was out looking for you when he heard the sirens go off because he noticed you didn't go back home after your little outburst.

Without a word, he hauled you up, on hand under your knees the other warily yet rigidly dwelled somewhere near your bosom. You were too far out of it to scold him for touching you, and he was too strung out over you to let his mind wander far away.

Clouds roamed your vision, you fought to stay awake- you had to stay awake, you had to tell your father what happened, but the pull of unconsciousness was too strong.

III.

coarse cotton creasing under your skin woke you up. you don't recall your bed cloaked in such rough covers, but then again you don't recall going back home at all. Your eyes slowly adjusted to the brightness of daylight, a quick scan of your surroundings deemed this was the apothecary's house. There was no roaring outside so that had to mean the attack was over with, the sun was just starting to rise, peaking beyond the horizon, golden rays slipping through the window. The rain dwindled to nothing and the town was in post-war mode.

You sat up confused. Your mind was hazy, the last thing you remember was bumping into Minho before passing out. Embarrassment hit you like a brick wall, knocking the breath out of you when you remembered how you acted in front of him earlier. The Minho you know would have used that opportunity to tease you, but from what your foggy mind recalled, he was anything but earnest and caring.

You would say it was your imagination but the pulsating sensation in your hand and ribs beg to differ.

They were much better, your hand almost completely healed while your side that took most of the hit was a bearable pain. Whatever concoction the apothecary- or was it hyunjin? - used on you worked like magic.

You slid on your boots and stood up. Many were laying around on the beds around, no doubt victims of the invaders. You couldn’t stand seeing people like this, so you rushed out the door and jogged back to your house, not to mention you were in no mood to have hyunjin nag your ear off. Your father was bound to set sail soon, and you need to talk to him before he goes.

If you had actually killed-or caught- the dragon then that changes everything. And if the said dragon was a night fury too, then you would surely gain the respect you never had in the first place. Perhaps he might even change his mind about attending the training, which would save you the hassle of facing Minho daily.

The town was a wreck, houses caved in, sorrow hanging like a dark cloud in the air, town gloomy despite the sunny day. The days after an attack are always the worst, repairing houses, regrowing the crops, burying the dead.

you would have arrived at your residence faster if you weren't stopped every two seconds with town folks bombarding you with questions. You brushed them away with “Yes I'm fine”’s and claiming you had to catch your father before he sailed. They couldn't argue with that.

You finally reached the top of the hill that held your house when you caught sight of Minho stepping out of his own, tools in hand, no doubt on his way to help in construction. Despite how much you hated the lees, they really did a lot around town, but their boastful way of talking was what made you want to stuff breadsticks in your ears. Nobody likes a snob.

You froze in your track, normally you would either overlook his presence and avoid confronting him like he was the night fury himself, or you would bicker like cats and dogs until someone intervenes. But perhaps you could play nice for now and thank him for what he had done yesterday. After all, he saved your life. If you had passed out on the ground out there alone, you would've been an easy target for the dragons. A bullseye marked in neon red for hunters a mile away to spot. It bared on you that he was decent to you earlier, you had never, be it rarely, seen him this caring about anything disregarding himself. You were seeing him in a completely different light, and you didn't like the way it made your heart flutter.

He noticed you too and halted in his place, expression unreadable. Silence ensued, which was new to both of you. You didn't want to be the one to start the conversation. You didn't know which Minho you'd meet today. You caught his gaze grazing your form, precisely where he knew you were hurt. His cheeks tinted redder than usual when he knew he was caught, he looked the other way instantly and continued on his journey downhill. That was peculiar. Normally you were the one to ignore him and his petty attempts at a verbal combat, not him.

Before he could completely pass you, you reached for his arm “Hey Minho..” his expressions, yet again, were hard to read but you could only decrypt his body's stiffness upon contact of your hand as discomfort- Or was he flustered? His ears looked like they were about to let steam out- so you let it go.

“I just...wanted to thank you for yesterday.”

He looked up into your eyes, no cocky smirk on his face, no strut in his walk, and no stick shoved up his ass, he seemed...tolerable. He opened his mouth to say something but someone beat him to it.

“Y/N?”

Mr.swoon himself came up from behind Minho, whose face turned sour. You never saw chan pick on Minho before, if anything, he always ended the teasing, so why does Minho look as if he bit into raw meat? Meanwhile, chan’s face displayed obvious distress, over you.

“Are you alright? I heard you were hurt badly.” Chan stepped forward, looking at you worriedly. It made your heart divert from its normal pitter-patter, you felt your body shiver up with exhilaration with the attention he was paying you.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine now. It was nothing.” Relife brightened his face up, curling the corners of his lips in a smile that seldom sat on his face. He reached for your head, messing your hair up affectionately. you shrunk into yourself, your lips mirroring his. you liked the attention but the arrows Minho’s eyes were sending you were starting to get on your nerves.

“Yeah, brother, stop babying her. She can handle a little scratch, right?” he patronized. “oh wait, if I recall correctly, you passed out on me.”

And there he was ladies and gentlemen, the grade A asshole lee Minho you knew. Whatever happened a couple of hours ago must be a dream, because this Minho could never be that one, and to think you were beginning to believe that being around him won't be as suffocating anymore.

Why was he like this? his personality change gave you whiplash, he usually liked setting your nerves on fire or flirted like there was no tomorrow, sometimes even blurting borderline rude remarks, but this was straight-up jackass material.

Blood pooled in your head, you were lucky enough to escape from the grasps of the dragon with all limbs attached, yet he was mocking you for passing out from burns that fried you like a piece of meat. You scoffed, you didn't have time to deal with his identity crisis. So like the good ol’ times, you ignored Minho in favor off keeping your sanity intact.

“I need to catch my father before he goes, see you around?” you directed at chan. He noded and you were off, not a glance shared in the sullen boy's way.

The men sailed once the sun fully raised, and you were currently burning daylight. You prayed you could catch him before he goes, and it was heard. Your father stood in his gear talking to both commander Kim and Minho’s father outside your house. They seemed to be in a serious discussion, with how animated they all looked, but this couldn't wait.

“Father!” you called, successfully gaining his attention, “can I have a minute with you?”

“Y/N!” he held you close, eyes searching your body. Did everyone know about your little mishap yesterday? “What are you doing out? you should stay in with the healers” anger and concern were etched in his words.

“Father, I need to talk to you.” you urged.

“what about? I don't have much time” you noticed the curious stares from both Commander Kim and Lee. “In private,” you emphasized.

“Y/N, there's no time for that, whatever you need to say say it here.”

“No father, this is important.” you would never dare mention the night fury in front of the lees, you could already see the greed seeping out of their pores.

He saw how desperate you looked and dismissed both of the men before facing you. “Alright, one minute.”

You took a breath in. This is it. this would change everything.

”I caught a night fury.” You let out in one breath.

Surprise, confusion, bewilderment, that's what you wanted to see. Not the blank stare you got. His eyes held a note of disappointment, he thought you were bluffing and he wasn't having it.

“Y/N, your mother would be really disappointed in you right now.” an arrow to the heart would have been less painful, “ if this is your attempt at getting out of training-”

“What?! Father no, I mean it! when I ran out of the great hall I went to the forest and it started raining and at first, I wasn't sure if what I saw really was a night fury or not but it was! It burned me before I shot at it and it fell !”

He shook his head, disenchantment clear “You want me to believe that you, out of thousands of Vikings that died trying to slay it, caught one? Y/N you're worrying me. You might've hit your head yesterday too.”

“Father I swear, it was sitting there just staring at me! -”

“Dragons always go for the kill Y/N, they don't sit there staring at you.”

You should've expected this. Your proclaims sound far fetched, even to your own ears.

“Y/N, please just, for the sake of this island, promise me you will go to the training.”

“But father I really-”

“Promise me!” he cut you off, not listening to what you had to say. There was no use, he wasn’t going to belive you anyway, you had no proof on you right now and there was no time for you to drag him to the forest where the dragon may or may not still be. You dropped your head in defeat.

“I promise.” You let out begrudgingly.

The boats off far trumpeted out their horns, one last call before they sail into the unknown. Your Father dropped a kiss on your head. “I’ll be back,” he muttered his infamous last words.

You nodded your head but couldn't stare him in the face, defeated that your own blood didn't believe you. You should have expected this, why did you think differently in the first place? The timing was wrong. He thought you were making up excuses to bail on training, just a rowdy child defying their parents' order.

But his words lingered in your head.

Dragons always go for the kill, so why didn't it?

IV.

legends have it that in a cave by the edge of a lake, on a peninsula far far away, laid the gates that separate the mundane realm from the netherworld. But you believe you found one here, in front of you, in your islands forest.

It looked like a demon tried to climb its way out of hell. The usually packed dirt ground embedding rocks and other small plants was sunken, forming a sinkhole. Trees fallen around it, derogated from the soil, broken and carved into with claw marks. You were apprehensive, your father scoffing you off made you waver and doubt that anything that happened yesterday in the forest was anything but a figure of your imagination. But not anymore. Nothing but a dragon was strong enough to slice thousands of years old trees in half like they were twigs.

It must be somewhere near. You were going to prove your father and everyone that had underestimated you wrong. You were going to find that damn dragon, carve its heart out, and strut back to town with it held high up above your head When it felt nothing but downgrading to you, but if that’s what you had to do then so be it.

“ what’s she going to kill it with? Her crossbow?” you mimicked Jisung’s words in a high pitched voice as you followed the markings down the path, pushing a long branch out of your way, only for it to bounce back and slap you in the face, makeing you lose your balance.

your foot caught onto a rock and you plunged headfirst down the slope. A slope you hadn't known existed, barricaded by long abundant streaky vines and luscious shrubs. You held on to lose vines on your slid down, lessening your fall impact but it still hurt when your back met the grass-covered ground roughly.

You let out a wail as you body throbbed, but the second cry that reached your ears didn't come from you. You froze in your place, looking like a starfish out of sea-with your back to the ground, arms and legs spread out. That voice was too deep to be from your mankind.

Mutley, you turned your head around. And there it was, The nightcrawler, curled up on itself, midnight black leather skin shining under the gleaming rays of the sun. You couldn’t tell its head from its tail from the way it was huddled up under the shade of a tree a good distance away from you, and you weren't sure you wanted too. Maybe it wasn't such a bright idea to come search for it alone after all.

You’ve studied all types of dragons, but you've never seen one like this, hell no one has seen one like this. It intrigued you. you found your curiosity overpowering your greed of self-righteousness. Which wasn't much, to begin with.

Was it dead? But you definitely heard a groan, was there another one here?

Your inquiries were answered when you saw its tail flick out from under his wings.

Holy mother of Odin's overgrown beard it was still alive.

Okay, okay, everything's okay, it didn’t seem to notice you, deep in its slumber. if you quietly sneak to that boulder behind you without catching its attention, you might-

Crack.

So it seems you might have irrationally run to the arms of death, twice in less than 24 hours. Damn that twig, might as well just go and poke the damn dragon awake and yell in its ear “Hey I'm here!! Come eat me !!”.

The dragon slit one eye open at the sound. Its head finally peeking out from behind its wings. you must've woken it up from its deep daze when you slam-dunked the ground then gave out your whereabouts with the twig.

It didn't move and neither did you. This sent shivers down your back, you felt like you were standing under the same tree from yesterday, taking cover from the storm, The same eyes fixated on yours. The golden hues swirling in the green pool of its eyes charmed you, but they seemed off, muted, not as vibrant as you had first caught sight of them in between raindrops.

Once again, You didn't dare to breathe, afraid it might activate it into attacking. you tried to appease the shivers from shaking your body but to no effect. A grumble rumbled from its body. It obviously remembered you, and it didn't like you by the looks of it. It stood up on its legs And slowly neared you, with each step forward it took, you took one back until your back hit the designated rock you wanted to hide behind, a little too late now.

You should’ve brought someone with, maybe chan as he seemed to be the only trustworthy and capable person in this town that wouldn't dismiss your claims as an effort of escaping the training.

It took calculative steps forward, one of its wings spread to its full frighting span while the other laid close to his body, a mix of a pained howl and a growl slithered out of him. A piece of wood, one you knew too well as you crafted it yourself, caught your eyes as it jutted out of the wing hauled up to his body.

Bingo. So you did hit it, but you only managed to cut one of its wings, immobilizing it.

Balance was everything for flight. One tiny crack in the system and everything crashes. You wouldn't have guessed that such a feared dragon had such a weak spot. That was probably why it hunted at night. While other dragons had spikes, bumps or rough scales covering their bodies, it had nothing but sleek obsidian black leather skin which helped camouflage it in the darkness of the night.

Anyone in your place right now would feel elated at hitting a night fury, but the only thing that simmered in your chest was guilt. You did this to it, You took away it’s liberty.

Discreetly you tried to reach for the knife you had stashed in your belt but it was sharp, it caught your movement and growled warningly at your hands. You pulled them back up in surrender but the growling didn’t cease, its eyes didn't move from your belt. It felt threatened by it.

You again reached for the knife but this time held onto it and threw it away, far from the both of you. It was a daunting move but its growling stopped and it turned its slitted green eyes back to you. It studied you again for a long moment, then took a couple of more steps forward. You were beginning to regret throwing away your only defense mechanism.

But the dragon stopped a foot away, it just stood in silence, once again, for what felt like an eon before it laid down on the floor with a heavy thump, spreading its hurt wing, whining as it did.

You mentally cocked your head in confusion.

Was it..... was it asking for your help?

You were befuddled to say the least. You’ve been taught since your fetus days that dragons were ruthless animals, with an unquenchable thirst for blood. So why was there a dragon lying defenseless on the ground in front of you, whining like a kicked puppy?

It still had its eyes open, assessing your every breath. With a newfound surge of chivalry, you stepped forward and slowly reached until your fingertips grazed its injured wing, smooth scaly leather brushed past your tips verifying what you dreaded. It didn't retract. It really was asking for your help.

You were conflicted. You could easily attack it right now and win. You could prove everyone wrong. This was everything you needed, handed to you in a silver plate with a bow on top. But its eyes peered into yours, emotions whirling in them, mirroring yours. hurt, fear, desperation.

You made up your mind.

Before you could regret your decision and curse yourself to rot in hell, you reached for that part of the stick that stuck out of his wing and cautiously broke it off, so it was easier and less painful to pull the other side out. it surprisingly sat still, except for the little whines and heavy breaths it let out.

As soon as you freed it from the pain, it stood up on its feet again and pounced on you, Shoving you down to the ground, locking you in place, helpless and on your back. Oh, you were so dead. Oh dear god, you have been a good child so far, what did you do to deserve this? Was it your constant fights with Minho? But it was always him that initiated it, you were simply defending yourself!!

You closed your eyes, ready to feel your skin blast of your bones, but all you got was a deafening angry roar in your ears that left you deaf for the rest of the afternoon, then it was off you, trudging towards the pond near the other side of the slope.

It didn't kill you.

It didn’t kill you, and you didn't kill it. You had the opportunity to do it, but you didn't. It knew so yet still took the chance with you and once he saw you were willing to help, he let you go too.

Mayhaps It was all a big misunderstanding. Maybe dragons were fighting only as self-defense. Maybe it was us they were afraid of and not the other way around.

Shaken to the bone, you got up and sat against the rock behind you, eyes glued to the leathered fiend. Your mind felt like mush, thoughts overlapping but one thing was clear. Dragons weren't as dangerous as you have been made to think.

It didn't seem to mind you staying here, in fact, it ignored your presence as it tried catching the fish from the pond, only for it to give up after several fruitless attempts and whine while laying down on the ground, licking its open wound clean.

It would probably never be able to fly again. Your bolt ripped a big nasty gash through its wing.

Guilt sat heavily in the bottom of your stomach. You've never felt this shameful before. It felt horrible and you couldn't stand it, it was almost up to par with how you felt whenever someone reprehended you for your fights with Minho.

Picking up your neglected knife, you skipped to the other side of the pond as to not startle the dragon, and sat quietly by the brinks, studying the unsuspecting fish serenely swimming to and fro down below the clear water. You felt the dragons gaze curiously turn on to you. you kept yours on the aquatic organisms, waiting to strike them in the right moment.

Moments later drenched in droplets of pond water, dried dragon blood and a bucketful worth of fish piled next to you, you were pulled out of your zone when you saw- and felt a shadow looming over you.

It was your scaly companion, sitting politely a couple of steps away from your hunt, tongue peeking out and nostrils sniffing the scent.

“You can eat it.” you weren't sure it would understand you but by the way its pupils dilated before it lunged at the fish, tail wiggling upon your words, you knew it did.

Guilt still stubbornly hung on your lungs, even after your act of repent. you might have sated its hunger but it will never be able to soar the skies again.

There was one way you might be able to help, but you weren't so sure it would work. You have stitched dragon skin together before but not when it was on a living breathing one. But perhaps it was worth the shot.

You’d do so tomorrow. If it was here tomorrow. But for now, you had something else to worry about. Your first dragon training lesson.

“We’ll start off today with something easy.” They said.

You thought Commander Kim might teach you how to properly pick and hold a shield and a sword, or how to find shelter, not throw all ten of you in an arena with an enraged dragon chasing you around.

you just barely escaped the grasps of a dragon only to be thrown under another one. you stuck by the corner of the arena, letting the others get chased by it instead, tranquil and at peace until your shoulder was bumped into.

“What's wrong Princess, you scared?”

“I told you to stop calling me that.” you rolled your eyes because of course Minho would take any chance he has to tease you and pretend like he didn't bully you hours ago, even if it was in the middle of the fucking training session. “And if you're so brave Mr.Slayer then why are you hiding too ?”

“I’m not hiding, I’m simply waiting for the right moment to strike.” He puffed his armored chest out. you were afraid your eyes might get stuck to the back of your head with how far you roll them around him.

“Keep telling yourself that buddy, you'll eventually start believing it.” you kept your eyes on the creature in front. But Minho turned quiet, which struck you as odd. If you learned anything from the years-long disputes with him was that he always had the last word, hell he would outlive the gods fighting to have the last word. You turned your face only for it to be a mere inch away from his. It took you back to the day before, the same emotions ran through you only this time you weren't in agony, well not physically at least, But your soul would never rest as long as you were around a Lee. A familiar tug pulled at your heart at the way he was leaning into you, nose closing in on your neck.

“What are you doing? marketing yourself as bait?” he looked up into your eyes.

“What-?” you asked, confused.

“You smell like fish.”

you had rushed here straight from the forest without stopping at your house to change out of your bloodied sullied clothes. This was bad, if a human could smell the fishy odor off of you then a dragon’s heightened sense of smell would surely pick it up and mistake you for food.

“T-That's none of your business.” you pushed him away, putting enough distance between you to placate your thumping heart.

“since when did you like fish?”That took you aback, you hadn't known he noticed you picking on the fish meat they regularly served at the great hall. You hadn't known he focused on anything else other than his own ass.

“Since when did you care?” it might have come out as a bit too defensive but you felt threatened, he seemed to know a bit too much about you for your liking. Perhaps while you were too busy looking at anything other than him, Minho was busy looking closely at nothing other than you, engraving everything his eyes percept in his mind under a folder with your name on it, closely studying you, memorizing details for him to recite later.

“Y/N, Minho stop trying to gauge each other throats out and focus on the lesson.” commander Kim yelled at you from his place outside the arena, where he was safe and sound, watching you from above.

“shouldn't you be teaching us how to deafened ourselves first?” annoyance colored your voice.

“You learn on the job.” Commander Kim yelled back, “now stop huddling up like a bunch of lovebirds and get out there.”

you rolled your eyes once more, yeah you might lose a limb or two but it was no big deal, at least you would have a tale to tell your father when he comes back.

The others in the middle of the arena were trying everything they could, from chasing it around with their shields and weapons to it chasing them with fire bursting from its mouth.

This was ludicrous if you had wanted to get chased around by a dragon you would've stayed back at the forest with the night fury, and you were going to stat just that to your instructor. you marched towards where he stood. “Commander Kim with all due respect, don't you think its a bit too hazardous for us to be running around free with a dragon?” you were looking for a way out, you didn't want to fight the dragon.

“The only thing you should be worried about right now is that scaly thing heading towards you.” he pointed with his head behind you.

you ducked just in time when you saw a wall of fire headed at you. “EXACTLY MY POINT !!” you shouted at the instructor as you ran for your life, shield over your head. you recognized the dragon classified in the nonlethal class, not the worst but still could do serious damage if it wanted to. And right now, it seemed like it wanted to. It was chasing you much more vigorously than it had with the others. No doubt it had finally catching a whiff of you.

Everyone noticed how crazed it suddenly turned, now it was their turn to cower in the corner while you fought it off.

“come on knock it out” you heard commander Kim yell over the flapping of wings, “ bang his head with your shield.”

Easier said than done if you lift the armor away from your face for a second the dragon wouldn't hesitate in attacking. Was there a way you could subdue it as you have done to the night fury? there must be, your heart wouldn't be able to take it if you injured another one of them.

“lookout !!” you heard someone shout before a weight slammed on top of you, squshing you to the floor with its body. you looked up in surprise only to see Minho’s the culprit. Right, where your body was a second ago was now a molten hole, magma dripping down from it like pudding.

He got off you and slammed the shield in his hand roughly to the dragon now laying dazed on the ground. He let out his breaths in deep heaves, and you’ve got to admit, he looked attractive like this, dressed in his armor, out of breath with beads of sweat clinging to him. you mentally shook those thoughts away. This was no time to appreciate his physical appearance when his sole purpose of helping was probably to take the glory away from you.

A palm was offered to you. You would've taken it if it wasn't attached to the person that pushed you to the floor in the first place. You pushed his hand away and got up yourself. What's up with him? he helped you out when you passed out earlier only for him to make fun of you for doing so, then comes around acting like nothing happened only to push you out of harm's way and saved you from getting burned again.

“I could've handled that myself, I don't need your help.” you brushed the dirt off of you as if that would do anything to your already soiled clothes. Minho's face fell, his hand flattered in the air before he pulled them back to his side in a fist.

“Whatever suit yourself,” he scorned, “next time why don't you run to chan when you need help.”

What was he going on about? You had tried to be nice to him and thank him earlier when he had helped. He was the one that acted like a jerk and made fun of you. And what did chan have to do with any of this? he couldn't possibly be jealous of chan?

While you were facing your little dilemma named Lee Minho’s bipolar tendencies, commander Kim jumped down to the field and put the knocked out dragon away.

“Good job Minho,” he clapped him on the back but Minho didn't look so thrilled, avoiding your eye contact.”First rule of the battlefield: Never hesitate. Give it one second and it will not hesitate in burning you to crisps. class dismissed”

Minho was the first one out, sulky throwing off his headgear and shield to the floor as he exited the arena. why was he playing the victim here? it was your turn to scoff now and sulky leave the arena, though you had the decency of putting your gear back in its intended place.

VI.

“Say,” you began, gathering Hyunjin’s attention from his working hands, busy mixing another concoction. “Theoretically, If I were to have to numb a dragon, would one of our numbing Potions work on them?”

That got Hyunjin’s hands to freeze in their place, question marks clear in his eyes. “Where’s this coming from?” There was a hint of suspicion waltzing behind his question.

“Just a thought.” you shrugged nonchalantly.

He sighed but answered nonetheless, “we don’t know much about dragon anatomy but, theoretically it would probably take a shit ton of dosage to numb them than it would for us.”

you nodded your head. “thought so.”

He dropped whatever was in his hands and faced you completely, hands leaning on the table separating you from him.“okay spill it. What did you do ?”

You weren’t surprised he asked. He knew you too well, with how often your curiosity got you in trouble and all. You contemplated telling him everything, if there was anyone you would trust to talk about what had happened to you in the past 48 hours, it would be Hyunjin. It felt wrong to keep something away from him, he was the person you shared everything with.

Thumbs twiddling in your lap, your eyes wandered around the knicks and knacks spread out in the workplace. The tapping of Hyunjin’s fingers on the wooden surface forced your eyes to the jagged line that ran through the back of his left hand, reminding you of the time hyunjin got glass shards carved into it. It was very foolish of you to go around sniffing and picking at the ingredients around his workplace. Turns out The pretty pink liquid set up in the farthest shelf was put up there for a reason, it was poisonous and had hyunjin not slapped the bottle out of your hands reach you would’ve been poisoned to death. And had his parents not been around to put the antidote on hyunjin would’ve been one arm less or worse, dead.

You couldn’t possibly put him in harm's way again, he was too sweet and innocent for that, you would never forgive yourself if anything happened to hyunjin, you still didn’t completely forgive yourself for the scar you marred on Hyunjin’s delicate form, despite how many times he told you it was fine.

Perhaps later, once you've got your thoughts organized you would tell him, but for now, it seems like it's going to be your little dirty secret.

“Nothing.” You shrugged again. he didn't have to say it, it was written all over his face, he didn't believe you.

“Really there's nothing. Just one of the many unanswered inquiries running through my mind.”

By the purse of his lips, you knew it bothered him that you were shrugging him off, but he dropped the issue nevertheless.

“If you say so,” he side-eyes you while he goes back to working again,” so what's new with Minho?” He slipped out so easily.

“What? Why would you bring up that spawn of the devil for?”

“Well, you always end up talking about him anyway so I'm just cutting to the chase.” Smugness sure was a good look on him. His eyebrows quirk and that little tug that pulled one corner of his lip up would have anyone fall to their knees.

“Wha-“ you would deny it if it wasn’t true. Somehow, someway Minho slithered his way into your subconscious, permanently sitting with a crown over his head in the gold-encrusted chair he placed in your mind, playing with your thoughts, making you think about him even when he wasn't around. To be frank, you always complained about the lees in general to hyunjin, namely a certain one was mentioned more than the others, but that was only because you wanted to push him off the edge of the island..right?

“What are you getting at?”

“oh I don't know,” he hummed, his hands didn't stutter once while he spoke,” that your too stubborn to confront your feelings about him.”

“What feelings ?” you stubbornly denied.

“See?” he deadpanned.

“Whatever.” You didn't like the heat pooling in your cheeks or the jitters convulsing your stomach.

“Just admit it, Your so used to hating him that it has become easier for you to just go along with his weird charade of displaying his affection for you than it is to actually do something about your feelings for him.”

“What? He doesn’t like me like that. He likes making me conjure up scenarios of his slow brutal death every day though.”

Despite your little way of deteriorating the conversation, Hyunjin’s face turned serious, “ Y/N you’re blinder than a ground mole if you think Minho doesn’t like you like that.”

“No, he doesn’t!! He was such an ass to me yesterday!”

“Look.. that was different Y/N. I don't really agree with his way of approach but…” he looked lost in his thoughts, searching for the right words to describe such an enigma.

“he hasn't had it easy since day one. It's not really an excuse for him to treat you the way he does but, deep down he's just a diamond in the rough, a child that's been teased since birth for being too caring. He’s too afraid of showing anything close to emotions for anyone but for some reason his act always seems to slip around you.” That had your heart stop.

“ You didn't see the way he hurtled into here the other night with you in his arms, he himself was bleeding but he wouldn't let me touch his cuts until someone treated you first. Y/N I think your the only one that could help him.”

Now that was surprising, you were pushed once again under the same shed of light you saw Minho in after your accident.

“Help him?”

“Have you ever considered talking to him? Like a normal conversation where none of you would set the room on fire?”

You have tried, you tried to talk to him on the morning of the sailing, and now that you think about it he did act differently until you were both interrupted by chan.

The door behind hyunjin creaked open and Hyunjin’s mother popped her head out, “ Hyunjin can you— oh good morning Y/N, how are your burns healing?”

“As perfect as the rest of me.” You replied sarcastically, thankful for the interruption.

“Cheeky as always I see,” she chuckled, “I need to steal hyunjin for a bit, we need an extra hand in the back.”

“Yeah, I was leaving anyway. Dragon training starts soon.” Saved by mother Hwang, you couldn't thank her enough for it.

“Be careful out there. I heard the training can get pretty wild.”

Images of Minho pressed up against you on the floor flashes before your eyes. That was not what she meant, THAT WAS NOT WHAT SHE MEANT.

You shook your head, “ yeah..”

A shrill sound pierced the air, making all three of you jump. “Oh boy, hyunjin, come quickly, help me pick up the cauldron from the fire before it starts spilling everywhere.”

“Think about what I said.” He noted quickly at you before he followed his mother back into the room where they worked most of their magic.

He was right. Hyunjin was always right. But you had other pressing matters than pouting around and pondering over unsaid feelings.

VII.

Second day of training did not go the way you imagined it too.

Sure today you were, once again, locked in the arena with everyone else, a new dragon unleashed, freely soaring around you. But what was different was a certain brunette that stayed quiet for the first time since he was born.

It was a breath of fresh air. Nothing nagging you, floating around you, buzzing in your ear like a fly. But it was disorienting. Was he upset over the first class?

Whatever, you didn't do anything wrong, you didn't ask of him to save you. you didn't ask for anything but here you are.

Today’s session didn't last long. whilst others were greedily fighting for who gets the victorious title of defeating the dragon today, You did try to act as if you were actually trying to fight the dragon, but then went to the same spot you were just a mere 24 hours ago. Commander Kim yelled at you the same way he did yesterday and you had turned a blind eye to him.

You were stuck in limbo. For one, if you don’t show an effort in learning, it will reach your father’s ears once he comes back and you don't think you’ll be able to handle him looking at you with disappointment dripping off of his entire being. But two, you weren't sure that fighting dragons was the right thing to do anymore, the night fury has planted new speculations in your mind, maybe the gods created both dragons and humans to live cohesively in harmony. Maybe you've all just had it wrong. Maybe you could do something to change how everyone's mind.

And three, Minho's silence was deafening. Why just why did you have to live next to each other? Every day, after each lesson, the both of you would have to take the same path to go back to your own respectful homes, albeit you don't stand next to each other, one of you would be ahead of the other, mostly you- unknown to you that the boy let you lead because he wanted to keep a protective eye on you.- god forbid you get seen walking with him, that would be the end of the world.

“Have you ever considered talking to him? Like a normal conversation where none of you would set the room on fire?”

This time, you were the one left staring at his backside while he treaded up the road. Not a single cheeky remark said. Thoughts of starting up a conversation with him skipped your mind, but what would you say? Thank you once again for saving me yesterday? Why did you insist on having me treated first? Why’re you such an ass?

A white ball of fur jumped at the feet of the boy in front of you. Unlike your startled self, Minho's face sported a soft smile, one you had never seen, one you didn’t know he could sport.

He crouched down to be on the same level of the pretty snow white feline basically throwing itself on him. Nimble fingers rubbed the back of the cat's ears, pulling a loud purr out of it.

He looked so small crouching down next to it, smile still painted on his face. Did he know you were behind him? Probably not because you've never seen him like this, and by the way the feline trusted him he must’ve been doing this for a while.

“What have you been feeding it, young man? She won't eat any of the food I give her anymore.” An old lady, you recognized her as the local chef’s wife, scolded Minho, a playful lilt in her voice.

He giggled.

“Mrs.whiskers likes your husband’s smoked tuna did you know that?”

Oh no, no no. Who allowed your heart to skip a beat it the sound of his chuckle. No, it was probably a heat stroke or something, you're already exhausted from standing still and doing nothing in the arena, it was probably the heat getting to you.

You hurried off past Minho, not listing to the rest of the conversation, and turned left, at where the path leads you to the hidden dragon buried deep in the forest, passing both of your houses on the way, earning a Quizzical stare from Minho on your retreating form.

You had snuck a couple of numbing potions after Hyunjin disappeared behind the closed door, your homemade sewing kit stashed next to it in your brown leather bag, a couple of fishes thrown in there too, to persuade the dragon on letting you stitch him incase he let you.

You were determined to fix things, or else you would quite possibly disintegrate from the heavy feeling in your chest.

This time, you gracefully slid down the slope instead of tumbling down it. You had peaked through the veins to catch a glimpse, and what you saw shriveled your heartstrings.

The dragon let out an annoyed groan as he once again fell to the ground after failing to catch his balance once in the air. It kept repeating, landing, getting up, spreading its wing, shaking its tail once before leaping into the air only for it to not catch drag and slam back down into the ground once more.

Its head suddenly whipped towards you, the same annoyed growl was heard and you wondered again if you should've brought someone with you. Or...maybe even Minho as he seemed keen on breaking the mold you had set for him.

Nope. Not going to think about him.

Running viciously at you with its teeth bared and a heart stoping screech, unleashing its wrath on you, was what you expected the dragon to do, instead it let out a burst of flames to the ground in front of him successfully charring the grass, with its wing it put out the fire than laid upon it. Its back facing you.

So it held a grudge against you. That's...not what you expected. Not that it shouldn't hate you but that a so-called ruthless beast could show such human-like emotions.

You slowly neared it, calling to it as you did.

“Hey..uhh harmless creature,” it didn’t respond.

“Umm, it's me. uh Again.” It let out a huff at that, chest moving up and down violently.

“... I know you probably hate me, a-and I don't blame you for that,” you stuttered,” but I might be able to help you.”

Its ears flipped backward, it was listening. You had its attention.

“I have a proposition for you.” You laid down your satchel and took out the fish. A sliver of a movement of its tail told you it had caught a whiff. You whipped the fish around to let the wind carry the scent to him.

“If you lay still and snack on what I brought you without jumping me this time, I will fix your wing.” wide beady eyes stared at you, it tilted its head to one side, just like how a dog would do to look at you better. if you had seen it do this a couple of days ago you would of pissed your pants, but strangely enough, you found it enchanting now.

it fully turned to you now, nose sniffing the fish still dangling in your hand, but it didn't move any closer.

you throw the fish in your hand in front of him alongside the others you had in your satchel. still as a rock, it didn't move, eyes fixated on you.

“go ahead, I didn't poison them.” but you did dose them heavily in some of the numbing potions you got. They were scent and tasteless so hopefully, the dragon wouldn't sniff or taste anything weird.

At that it lunged at the food, letting you peacefully walk to his side.

Its injured wing was as it was yesterday, pulled close to its body.

“Buddy, you're going to have to spread your wing.” you tapped his wing softly.

it stopped munching for a second but complied in the next. so it was starting to trust you.

you took what was left of the potions you had in your bag and poured it gently onto the angry open wound, It was just a precaution, for you and for the dragon. you wouldn't want it to slap you with its boney wings and possibly break one of yours. with one bat you would be thrown like a rag doll across the meadow field.

It didn't seem to react to the liquid touching him, except for a tiny twitch of his underlying muscles, so you did your first puncher with the needle. It was way harder to puncher through the thick layers of muscles and scaly skin than it was with normal leather.

And as you had expected, upon the incision, its tail twitched from its previous serenity and struck you in the face with such force that had you thrown to the ground behind.

“ouch, that was surely going to leave a bruise.’” It looked at you accusingly, hurt shining in his eyes.

“look, it pains me just as much as you, but if you want to fly again, this might be the only solution!”

it was a hassle but after another round of one-sided verbal negotiation, a row of neat stitches decorated his left wing. “now I would tell you not to move around much but-” you couldn't finish your sentence as it had stubbornly tried to take flight, it did for a hot minute until a couple of the stitchings tore.

It looked at you with pleading eyes once it was back on the ground.

“come here, you big oaf.”

After you had repaired the stitches, the dragon had yet to move from your side. You dared to pet its head and it let you, closing its eyes and leaning towards your touch, smooth leather skidding under your touch, soft purs rippling out of him.

you closed your own eyes, resting beneath the tree, shading in it, letting your thoughts wander and finally puzzle the pieces together.

it was as you suspected, dragons weren't that bad.But the question now was, what are you going to do with this new piece of information? This town had fought years after years and gave birth to generations of dragon warriors. It was your island legacy, their creed, to kill dragons. How were you, an overlooked human, supposed to convince them of what their thick skulls would never want to accept?

You looked at the dragon resting peacefully next to you.

“How can I save you?”

VIII.

“whats wrong with your face?” is the first thing you hear come out of Minho's mouth after his whole devotion to being silent as a monk around you.

The blue and purple hues staining your cheek was not something you could hide with your hair, it was on display for everyone, but that dipshit didn't have to announce it to everyone in 10 meters ratio.

You glared at him, couldn't he have phrased it nicer? who were you kidding, this is Lee Minho you were talking about, he's either as smooth as the butter you spread on your rockhard biscuits or as rude and grumpy as the old fisherman's wife living down by the bay.

“I punched myself so I wouldn't have to see your face. But oh here you are.”

He tsked, he was genuinely worried about you, if it wasn't for that he wouldn't have broken his silent treatment with you.

With that, he turned the other way to hid the pout pulling his lips down in obvious disdain, albeit you caught sight of it, and god damn your heart for leaping at such sight.

Were you too mean?

you were starting to get a headache from all the thinking so you decided to stop and focus on your lesson, and by focus, you meant to think of ways to avoid engaging in the ruthless practice.

to say the next couple of days were eventful would be a lie, Minho kept ignoring you and you kept going to the forest after each lesson to play with the dragon, who you playfully decided to name starlight- it was the first time you caught sight of him on a starry night. plus it wouldn't agree to be called anything else, you kept calling it by different names but it only responded to starlight.

Everything was going swell, except for the fact that you had the most wanted dragon as a pet and that you missed Minho. You missed hearing his annoying voice, you don't miss his rude remarks but you miss playfully bantering with him. He doesn't look like he's doing well with dark bags stitched to his under eyes and stress lines forming way too early for his age. Dare you say you were worried for him. But you decided not to interfere, for now.

You could notice the stares of the people around you, eyeing your ever-accumulating marks and bruises decorating your body. You couldn't do anything about the ones that your clothes cant hide. Starlight likes to play rough and the other scratches are from your clumsy self. Questions were bound to be asked and you weren't sure what the answers should be.

By now it was nearing the deadline of your father's voyage and your training, Minho was looking worse by the second, he looked as if he was forced to sleep with a dragon in the same cave.

“Alright soon to be Vikings gather up.” commander Kim announced, gathering everyone's divided attention from staring at the large, tall wooden walls placed in the usually empty arena, forming a maze of sorts. “Today we’re doing something different, you are to pair up in twos and go into the maze. In there somewhere are eggs stashed away, guarded by some obstacles. First team to get out with three eggs wins. easy right?”

You noticed some of the girls standing next to you ogle at Minho, no doubt thinking of throwing themselves on him in a chance of becoming his partner. You would think the girls would know better than to pair up with him as he would be as useless as his twin brothers brains, but you guess those girls just might share the same brain.

“Minho, Y/N you're together. The rest are free to choose,” he announced oh so casually as if he and the others haven't noticed yours and Minho’s lethal relationship.

“What?!” you both exclaimed, sharing a look. “That's unfair!! -”

Commander Kim raised his palm up, shutting you up “You're both too busy bickering at each other to fight the actual enemy here.” you begged to differ, dragons weren't the enemy” you have got to trust each other. It's the golden rule.”

“I’d rather go in by myself.”

“I second that,” but Minho didn't sound as opposed.

“No, what I say goes.” he refused again “now get on with it before I tie the both of you together.”

you sighed, there was nothing you can do about it, the sooner you get it done with, the faster you can go and hang around your new pet.

Minho was as quiet as ever so you took the lead for once and talked. “let's get this over with quickly, I’ll get the egg and you keep an eye out for me, no tricks no games.”

he nodded lethargically, eyes darker than his usual bright brown ones.

once the horns announced the start of the game, both of you sprinted inside. Large walls caged you in a foggy mist, you could barely see your hand. This wasn't good, you might separate from Minho and get lost. Blindly you reached for where you last saw Minho, your fingers touched the familiar cool metal plates that cover his chest, you slid it down until you found his hand.

“what are you doing?” he whispered.

“so we don't get lost” Thank Thor that it was misty and the scarlet tinge coloring your cheeks couldn't be seen.

“lead the way.” you gestured with you interwind hands. he took the liberty of interlacing your fingers, firmly squeezing your hand in his. Had you not known it was your hand in his you might have thought it was your heart with the way It was pumping so weirdly.

Sightless, you both relied on your sense of touch and hearing for this task. Your hands guiding you away from any dead ends, ears listening for any unwanted visitors.

you stubbed your foot against a rough object which caused it to roll away. An egg !!

“There's one here! “you squeezed Minho’s hand, gesturing to where you heard it roll. Slowly you unlace your hand from his, to grab the golden egg and shove it in the pouch you were given.

“okay that was too easy-” you should've kept your mouth shut for the sudden gust of wind hovering over the back of your necks made both of your bodies turn rigged, your hand sneaking back into Minho’s wordlessly.

Simultaneously, another team bumps into your backs, bringing with them another dragon. Upon collision, the other team's egg fell from their hand and rolled next to your feet. You took it, quickly stashing it in your pouch. Leaving the only problem now is to escape this trap, find one more egg than get the hell out of here.

“don't move,” Minho whispered. Dragons have blind spots, hiding in them could eventually lead to losing the dragon's track.

The boy on the other team scoffed, recognizing Minho's voice “as if id take advice from you.” and made the first move. Colossal mistake, now he had both of the dragon's attention pointed at him. A disadvantage for him but an advantage for you.

You and Minho took off running away from the pair, letting them deal with their foolish act.

Eventually, you reach a part where the fog doesn't hang so thick in the air and it is safe to let go of your hands. but neither of you do.

“How many do we have?” he askes.

you hold up two fingers with a shit-eating grin. he copies yours and smiles back.

“I'm guessing we're in the eye of the maze now.” you reached a circular place, with nothing but five pathways, one of them must be the exit while the others must be where the other teams entered from.

“I'm gonna take a wild guess and say that's not it.”Minho points at one pathway that you could clearly see lightning strikes reflecting from the walls along with shrilling screams.

“Yeah, lets hurry before they come out and bring it with them.” you agreed.

All four other pathways seemed as equally suitable for the exit as each other, so you randomly chose one. The path seemed normal in the beginning but the more turns you took the darker it got. Light spilled from random crevices up above, enough for you to see Minho next to you, but not enough to illuminate what was beyond him.

you froze in your place when you felt a tug on your pouch, pulling it roughly away from you. “Did you just take the pouch?”

“What? No, why would I?”

“Well, something did.”

The sound of rummaging came from behind, causing both of you to turn around. From what your eyes could catch, the relatively small-sized blue dragon with its head in your bag was what caused the sound. It sniffed into your pouch before it pulled the pouch with its mouth to a corner where you noticed a third egg sat. You recognized the dragon immediately, body going in full flight mode.

“That tiny thing is what took it?” Minho mocked, already making his way to the dragon.

“Minho NO, it's more dangerous then it looks,” you pulled back on his hand. This type of dragons were known for their razor-sharp poison-filled spikes and speed.

“It's fine. It's small. We’ll just grab the pouch and pounce.” He advanced as he talked, making it dangerously close to the dragon.

“No Minho one sting from it and you'll be-“ you don’t get to finish your sentence as you push Minho with all your strength out of the way of the flying spike. The spike hit the wall behind you, inches from where he stood “ -Paralyzed.” You finish, out of breath.

The small dragon, now aggravated, was ready to strike at the both of you again but it sensed oncoming visitors. You looked at where its beady red eyes were staring and vaguely saw shadows that resembled a human’s.

Distracted, Minho made the brave choice to run to your pouch, stuff the third egg in, and as he so kindly phrased it pounced away. Dragging you by the hand with him.

“RUN!”

You had hoped the dragon would go after the new guests that arrived, but it didn’t seem to appreciate you taking its eggs. You felt a weight cling onto your back and force you down to the floor, unwillingly removing your hand from Minho's grip.

Before you could even react Minho had flung the pouch at the dragon with such vigor that you were sure the thud it made rang through the whole arena. He helped haul you up quite easily that you for a second forgot how much you weight, were you that light or was Minho always been this strong?

The dragon swayed from side to side, shaking its head a couple of times as it did. Before it could gain its senses again, both you and Minho were out of sight.

After multiple run-ins to walls- and to each other- endless twists and turns, you finally see the light. Just a couple of steps more and you will be out of this maze.

You make it one foot out but something pulls Minho back inside, linked hands dragging you back with him.

“Minho!”

The same spiked dragon was on his back. Quite literally. It had its claws dug into his armor, pulling Minho backward into the maze, it's tail ready to sting Minho's neck.

It was time to choose, you either spare the dragon and let Minho get hurt. Or hurt the dragon in order to save Minho. Both options sucked, but maybe…

It’s a lucky guess. You had accidentally discovered this one time when you were fooling around with starlight, there was no assurance it would work on other types of dragons, but if it did it would save both of them from getting harmed.

It was now or never. Before you could back out, you reached your hand under the dragon's sharp teethed mouth and scratched the thick calloused skin on its chin. It instantly unclawed Minho, grip going lax, eyes slowly closing, head leaning into your touched until it fell to the ground, completely paralyzed and in bliss.

Minho was too busy heaving on both his hands and knees to speak.

“Are you okay? Did it sting you?”

He shook his head, not sure what question he was answering but the lack of a hole in his neck reassured you. He looked back at the dragon, surprised to find it in a daze on the floor. He didn’t have to ask, you could read the questions all over his face. How did you do that? But you quickly dragged him up and out the maze, not letting him utter a word.

You didn’t like using any of the tricks you learned in front of others or in your training sessions. This was a slip-up. thankfully no one was around to see it except Minho. As much as you had prayed that the Lee’s would get eaten by a dragon you didn’tThankfully mean it.

“Congratulations! you're the first team out.” Commander Kim claps both of you on your backs, a bit too roughly.

“We make a good team,” you sheepishly said to minho, not expecting him to reply.

A smile tugged at his lips, one you had never imagined you'd see directed at you. “yeah… I guess we do.”

You were going to have to give hyunjin a visit with the way your heart was palpating so much lately.

IX.

“Starlight I can't throw that!” the sound of your laugh echoed in the empty forest.

The pond mimicked the sunset above, reflecting the apricot haze off the water, rippling softly as you swung your feet to and fro. Pants pulled up to your knees, scratches and marks from starlight rough playing on display.

Said dragon whined and nudged at the fully grown tree that he tossed at your feet a second ago after the fragile twigs you kept throwing him kept snapping between his sharp teeth.

The dragon was almost completely healed by now, the stitches have worked, you took them out the other day and the dragon could fly again. It was a very melancholic event, you were happy it could fly again but you were going to miss hanging with him. The moment you took the last stitch out, it zoomed away without looking back, spinning and soaring in the sky.

“You're not going to say goodbye ?!”

So he came back, gave you a lick that clung to your hair and clothes and took hours to pull off of you, gave one last look with its wide green eyes, then spread its wings and flapped away, roaring happily as he did.

You may have shed a tear or two, but no one shall know. Missing your companion, you went back the next day to the same place it has been inhabiting for the last week and a half and low and behold, and there it was drinking from the pond, waiting for you to visit.

As days go by, you slowly saw more sides of the dragon unfold as it started trusting you. Whether it be how quick-witted it was with the way he mimicked whatever he saw you do, to how goofy and puppy-like he could be with the way he would sleep upside down like a bat on a tree or spin around in circles trying to catch his own tail, All to which help solidify your thought. Dragons were not your enemy.

starlight whined again once it saw you laugh at him, “Bud, I can't just throw a tree like you!”

he turned his back on you, throwing a tantrum like a two-year-old that had his favorite toy taken away.

“Bud, come on,” you reached to pet its head but he stubbornly turned away.”I'm tiny compared to you, I don't have wings I cant fly. I don't have superhuman strength either, that's why I have you by my side.” you hugged it, trying to turn its head towards you.

“look at you, acting like a baby, you even look the part!” you were referring to the stray tree leaves stuck between the scales on the back of his neck, no doubt from when he pulled the tree out of the ground. You climbed on his back to pluck them out, and before you knew it, your feet were no longer on the ground. Now call yourself crazy but you had always thought of riding on the back of a dragon before, wondering how it would feel to touch the clouds. But not when the dragon was playfully somersaulting mid-air, over the ocean, 50 feet above.

“STARLIGHT!! PUT ME DOWN!! BADBOY!!” you yelled, eyes glued closed out of fear. that seemed to make it sulk even more as he playfully zipped down and dipped the edges of his wings into the water before spraying you with it, making you shut your eyes even tighter.

“STARLIGHT PLEASE!!” You have anything to catch on to except his bare body which wasn't much. Your fingers were slipping from the momentum he was flying at. “ STARLIGHT IM GONNA FALL!! PLEASE PUT ME DOWN”

It stubbornly flew higher, wings heavily swifting through the air, until it broke through the first layer of clouds. “ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! YOU’RE A GOOD BOY, YOU’RE THE BEST PET DRAGON EVER NOW PUT ME DOWN didn't.”

It was satisfied with that and flew you back down, just in time for your fingers to finally slip and lose grip. Your body bomb dives to the ground, landing all your weight on your wrist for support, causing it to twist a weird angle.

“Ah!” Your exclaim caught the dragon's attention, seeing you in pain made him look at you all pleadingly, with dilated pupils, the same way he does whenever he knows he did something wrong.

“Starlight, you can't just do that without me knowing, I'm not like you if I had fallen from you that might have been the end of me.”

It whined and looked at the floor, huffing out a fiery breath. You tried to move your wrist, but it was refusing to move without any pain.

“Great, now I'm going to have to visit hyunjin.” A sigh slips from your lips. It wasn’t like you were avoiding hyunjin…but you were avoiding him.

The dragon before you got up and hurls to the pile of food you gave him earlier, only for him to come back with a fish in his mouth.

A peace offering. You did the same thing to him when you first freed him from your bolt and again when you stitched him up.

Starlight was intelligent, perceptive, a quick learner. You caught sight of him a couple of times copying whatever you were doing, be it sitting by the brinks of the pond with your legs in the water- the dragon plunged its whole tail in instead- or laying down on your back and closing your eye to take a breather.

Sorcery is what people would say if they saw this. You have manged to tame the so allegedly accused untamable. You managed to win its trust, and with it came its whole being.

It was a very moving gesture, he felt guilty and didn't want you to be mad at him. He dropped the fish and nudged at it, begging you with his eyes.

“Oh, starlight.” You pet his head with your good hand“ I'm not mad at you, but next time do give me a heads up. I'm not like you, I don't have wings, if I plunge from a high place, I will die.”

It licked at your knotted up hair, leaving a trail of spit as he did, A bad habit he has that you have yet to teach him not to do because it made it even harder for your detangle your hair.

“Ugh, thanks bud.” You wipe the goo off your face, spraying back at him.

He helped you get up to your feet, letting you put your body weight on him. He walked you all the way up the slope you descend from to get down here, but it didn't step a foot out of place, he knew you wouldn't allow him too. It was too dangerous, you couldn’t have someone accidentally see the both of you here.

“Thanks, starlight,” with your good hand you itched behind its perked ear, right where you knew made him turn to a purring mess “Now be a good boy and stay out of sight?”

You pulled your hand back, but starlight followed it, nudging your hand back over his head. You laughed again at him “ I’ll give you more pats tomorrow. Stay hidden, okay bud?” If it were a human being, the sulky pout would be evident on its face.

“Now go on you big baby.” he let out one last screech before it flew away.

Its been a while since you've visited hyunjin and you've been meaning to go one of these days, but you were dreading having to answer the question you knew he would ask about the ambiguous causes of all your injuries, so you just avoided going to him, preferring to heal your wounds at home with you minimum knowledge of dressing burns and scraps. But this seemed like it might need professional attention.

A sigh slips out again once you're in front of Hyunjin's door. Throbbing wrist in hand, throbbing headache in the process.

“I was wondering when you would stop avoiding me.” Hyunjin's snarky voice greeted you.

Of course, he would notice. This has been the longest you’ve gone without seeing him, but you were pretty occupied with your new pet.“I...wasn’t avoiding, practice has me occupied.”

“Uh hah is that so ?” he deadpanned, stare poking holes into your soul.

“So what did i do in my past life for you to grace me with your precence?” He mocked a bow.

“Ha ha very funny.” You held up your wrist and showed it to him. “ i fell down and sprained my wrisy.”

“ did you fall down a hellhole or something?” he gently took hold of your hand, twisting it here and there to see what he was dealing with.

“You could say that.”

“Lucky you, it doesn’t seem fractured, probably just trauma. Keep it wrapped and it'll be good as new in no time.”

He brought out a cloth and started to wrap your hand firmly in it. He pushed the sleeve of your shirt up and noticed all the burn marks adorning your skin.

“So are you going to tell me how you really sprained your hand?” Knowing you had an excuse ready on your tongue, he continued, “And why you look like our rusty thousand-year-old cauldron?” His tone was nothing like his playful one earlier.

“Fell down the rabbit hole.” He didn't appreciate your joke by the looks of it. His hands stopped and he looked you dead in the eye,” Y/N your really starting to worry me. Is something wrong? Is someone doing this to you? Is it Minho?”

“What?! No! No one is doing this to me.”He stayed still, gaze still holding yours, doubt shifting in them.

“Trust me. I'm fine in that regard. Minho's actually…been tolerable lately.” You didn't realize it but a smile took form upon your face and it didn't slip Hyunjin’s radar.

“What do you mean?”

A third sigh in less than ten minutes graced your lips, but this one wasn't of exasperation. “Ever since commander Kim partnered us up for a task, Minho’s been civil with me.”

you didn't mention the shy smiles shared between coincidental run-ins. You hadn't imagined that the smile he gave you after the game was over would grace you for the rest of the week. Whenever you would see him, you would send him a smile, and he’d give you one back. It set fire to your veins, burning your nerves- a good kinda burn, not like the ones starlight usually toasted you like a marshmallow with.

You didn't talk or anything, but it wasn't that suffocating silence either. You were tiptoeing on eggshells, not knowing whether you should be the one to talk first or not.

“Still doesn’t explain why you're all tattered up.” He wasn't letting the subject go. Maybe now was the time for you to tell him. You trusted hyunjin. He could keep a secret.

But just like the last time you saw him, a door opening intervened your moment. This time it being the main door of the house. You both turned to see none other than the devil himself standing there.

Lee Minho.

Hyunjin glanced at you before looking back at Minho, noticing the small smiles that fused both of your faces.

“Hurry up,” you mouth to hyunjin, but hyunjin being hyunjin slows down deliberately instead. If it wasn’t for how good looking he was you would’ve punched him back to the days he was a blabbering mess of gaga’s and giggles (not that he was any different now).

“What brings you here? “ hyunjin asks Minho while his hands are busy moving no faster than his brain cells over your wrist.

“Mother said you have a new batch made of that sleeping potion.”

“Yeah, it's around the back let me bring it for you.” He looked at you, pointing an accusing finger at you “ and you, this conversation isn't over.”

“Yeah yeah just go now.” You shoo him with your now, thankfully, fully wrapped hand.

Minho stood next to you, eyes inquisitively grazing over your injured hand.“What..” he seemed to be contemplating whether to continue asking or not but seeing as you maintained eye contact, curiosity shining in them, he gathered the courage up “what happened?” He timidly asks.

That took both you and your heart by surprise, “I- Just tripped and fell, nothing serious.”

He nodded and you think you hear him murmur “that's good “ under his breath but you weren't so sure with the way his head cocked downward. It was so unlike him.

“Are you okay?” You decide to ask because the sag of his shoulders, the disheveled clothes, the unkempt hair and the circles around his eyes were getting concerningly bigger each time you saw him that he could almost rival how big starlight's eyes were.

He looked surprised at your question. The act of you taking an interest in his well being stirred something in him, sending tingles down his fingertips. He stayed quiet for a bit, pondering on what to say. The soft sound of the clock ticking keeping your thoughts company “I’m —"

“Here you go.” Sometimes hyunjin could spout out words that could rival Plato’s, other times he was as dumb as a plank of wood. You had never wanted to shove his long pretty fingers down his throat more than now.

Unable to read the moment, you shot hyunjin a glare for interrupting Minho from finally talking to you. Wasn’t he the one always encouraging you to go and speak to him?

Minho look disappointed too, shoulders sagging even more, a hint of dismay in his voice“ thanks.” He paid and ran away. Not looking back at you.

“So, where were we?” Hyunjin called back at you.

“ you know what, maybe some other time.” You followed Minho out.

“Y/N!!!”

Sniffles.

Not yours but of some obscure figure that slipped out of the Lee residence. door closing behind them, shutting any light from slipping onto the dark shadows of the night. Sardonic laughter followed the figure out, slumping tiredly to the ground.

Your legs locked in place, lungs frozen, afraid that making a sound would disturb the figure even more. A Wizz of breeze rustled the trees behind you, turning the figure’s head in your direction, faint moonlight emphasizing the wet trail decorating Minho’s cheeks.

It was Minho. He was crying.

Your mind came to a halt for a second, you think your heart did too. What do you do when you see someone that you not long ago wished them the most heinous way of dying looking the same way starlight did when you took away his ability to fly- tired, hopeless and scared.

upon your feet crossing the space between you and him, Minho held his palm up, stopping you in track, “ Go away,” He looked the other way, his other hand wiping whatever his thin sleeves could catch “I don’t need your pity.”

And you would have complied any other day, but the hollowness filling his eyes scared you. His deep brown eyes that would usually glimmer with a hint of mischievousness around you were gone, leaving nothing but black sinkholes. “Im not doing this out of pity.”

He didn't look your way. “I told you to go away, princess.”

“And I told you to stop calling me princess.”

silently you fold down beside him, not speaking, but letting him know you were here. His sniffles were the only thing breaking the silence every few seconds. He side glanced you, a sigh coming out of him seeing you stubbornly sticking by his side. He set his hands down beside him to hold his weight while he faced straight ahead, staring at the moon waving behind big dark clouds, There were no tears on his face but his eyes were red and shiny, wetness clinging onto his eyelashes, sticking them together.

You had your fair amount of silent moments with Minho, but you hated this one the most. No words were said but pain and grief lay so thick in the air you could touch it. It took no genius to know that he was getting teased, yet again, by his brothers before he stepped out of the house.

Timorously you set your hand above his, wordlessly speaking. He didn't retract his own. Instead, he aligned his palms to yours, triggering your beating organ to skip a beat.

“What's wrong?” you dare ask. That seems to set start his fountain of tears again as they clung desperately onto the tips of his lashes, lips quivering so he pressed to a tight line. He leaned on to you, laying his head on your shoulder, face hidden in your neck.

You didn't know if your heart clenching was from his crying or the proximity of him. You let him do as he pleased, hot tears dripping onto your neck, soaking your clothes. It brought tears to your own but you blinked them away, letting the wind dry them up. Your thumb rubbed circles on the back of his hands, occasionally drifting to trace over his knuckles, sharing warmth.

His deep heaves eventually lessened to normal breathing, tears no longer dripping.“What am I supposed to tell him when he comes back?” he crooned so softly that if you weren't listing for it you would've missed it.

It took you a second to realize who he was talking about. “Your father?”

He sniffed.

“ I...dont know.” You squeezed his hand,” I wouldn’t know what to tell mine either.”

The mark of your father's return was nearing and it had you in a swirl of emotions. No doubt you would be joyed at him coming back alive, but you did not know how you would unveil your new discovery to him, Vikings have spent years upon decades slaughtering dragons, finding pleasure in it, turning it into a sick contest of masculinity and strength.

Minho’s hair tickled the side of your face, reminding you he was still there.It was warm- you were warm, despite the cold draft swifting on by. Sitting next to him, under the glinting beam of the moonlight fluttering through the clouds sent warmth down both your bodies.

“My brothers are right. I’m not worthy of the Lee family’s name.”

That startled a reaction out of you, moving back so Minho was obliged to stop hiding in your neck. “Hey,” you called him but when he continued looking away you unlaced your hand from his, and instead held his face, gently turning it to meet your eyes, palms cupping his cheeks. “Look at me.”

“Just because they can ruthlessly skin a dragon alive and pluck its teeth out with their bare hands doesn’t make them any more worthy than you are.” You had said it with so much sincerity that it almost swayed him. It sent an unfamiliar surge of warmth roaming freely in his chest. His eyes stared into yours, shining with unshed tears.

“Lee Minho, you’re a kind, rare soul and if anything, it's them that are unworthy of you.” His eyes quivered, switching between your eyes and lips. You didn't know where these words were coming from, but you meant every single one of them. It might’ve taken a while for you to see it but Minho really was caring in his own way.

You didn't know what force pulled the both of you together but before any of you could wrap your minds around it, you felt Minho’s cold lips pressed on yours. Your hold on his cheeks weakened, fingers sliding down his chest, gripping onto his shirt.

After what could’ve been minutes felt like hours, he distanced himself enough to murmur, “I don't want to kill, Y/N” the way your name melted off his tongue sent a shiver down your spine, grounding you in place with his gaze, breaths tickling your lips. You were seeing and experiencing a lot of firsts, uncovering new sides of Minho.

“Maybe…” you hesitated. Should you tell him? Could you trust him enough to know that he won't take advantage of knowing where starlight likes to hide at night and run back to tell his father in an attempt of redemption? You would be giving the perfect salvation plan.

“Maybe we don't have too.” You pulled away, standing up with your hand outstretched to him. “Come with me. I want to show you something.”

It was a huge leap of faith, trusting a Lee. But if Minho bawling his eyes out in the middle of the night over not wanting to slaughter dragons wasn’t enough of an indication of how different Minho was to them then you really were as blind and as thick-headed as a ground mole.

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